Several years ago, while still living on my own, I had
decided to return to Canada for six months to share the care
of my mother. My mother was in wonderful health but since she
was just over 90 years old, she did require that someone be
with her. At that time, my mother had lived with my sister
and brother-in-law in their home for four or five years,
having left her beloved Montreal. Her new life fell short of
her very busy life in Montreal; however, with a bit of time
and my sister's inquiries, she developed a satisfying active
social life in her new home.
During the many years my sister and I had lived in Calgary
(in Western Canada above Montana), my mother would often say
that she would not live with either of her children, nor
would she ever consider living in Calgary, which was so
quiet! She thought that Calgary consisted of cars, not
people; certainly not the large numbers of seniors living in
her area in Montreal who walked and met and socialized, and
were not lonely.
Returning to my visit to Calgary . . . The time had come for
my sister and brother-in-law to visit their out-of-town
children, while I gladly remained with my mother. We had a
wonderful time together, until one morning, when my mother
collapsed in a faint and had to be rushed to the emergency
ward. The outcome was that she was to remain in the hospital
for a week. This in itself was manageable, but Shavuos was
that night. Two days in chutz la'aretz, with Shabbos
following on its heels! How could I possibly do it? In a
hospital?
A quick phone call to my daughter brought her, out of breath,
to the hospital with the food we had already prepared, with
fresh clothes, with candles, with all we needed for these
three precious days. How I would prepare for and truly enjoy
Shavuos was a puzzle, but I kept praying for Hashem's
help.
Not unexpectedly, all the pieces slowly fell into place. Late
in the afternoon of that first day, my mother was transferred
to a ward; the nurse apologized for sending her to a
different ward than she needed; nevertheless, that had the
only available bed in the whole hospital! When we reached the
ward, again there were apologies that she would be in a room
alone. The beautiful, very large room-with-a-view and private
washroom was more than I could have hoped for.
My first thought spoken aloud, to the nurse, was that I would
stay with my mother for the next two nights, which the nurse
expected, because of my mother's condition. A chair or two as
a bed would do nicely for me and fit into the room just fine.
The nurse was kind enough, however, to roll in a foldaway
bed, and insisted on making it up for me then and there!
Next, in explaining to the head nurse my requirements to
light candles, she simply said that the huge waiting room was
not used after eight and I could easily and safely light my
candles there. She even came into the waiting room and helped
me locate an ideal spot! The light would be left on in the
waiting room and each night until after I went to sleep in my
mother's room! As to my muktza, the head nurse again
had a solution. She found an unused, empty cupboard which she
locked, sealed the key into an envelope with my name on it
and stored it away for me. Furthermore, she told the head
nurse on duty motzaei Shabbbos about the arrangement,
who returned my belongings when I asked!
Hashem's Hand was certainly there the whole time! Where was
the food stored for these three days? This ward "happened" to
have a small kitchen for the use of the nursing staff and
families of patients. The fridge had plenty of room for me
and there was usually someone in the kitchen to open it for
me. Our Yom Tov was doubly memorable since my mother could
still be part of it, even in the hospital. These three quiet
days were wonderful for both of us. I prayed in her room
aloud. She could hear all the blessings for kiddush
and hamotzi, and so on, even though she was not
allowed to eat or drink.
Given the circumstances, one would think it was pretty busy
on this ward and with my mother. However, since they were
only monitoring my mother, it was mainly quiet and peaceful,
with my mother resting and sleeping, participating when
possible. We thoroughly enjoyed the calm of Yom Tov and
Shabbos relatively undisturbed. This was a memorable Shavuos
for both of us, thought about and remembered frequently in
time to come. On motzaei Shabbos after havdolo,
a nurse came in to announce that a bed was available for my
mother on the appropriate ward, with four other women in the
room. She knew how happy my mother would be to have the
company of other ladies. But she apologized to me that I
would not be able to stay there overnight since there was no
room for me. How perfectly Hashem had arranged it all!
This incident remains one of the most memorable yomim
tovim I have experienced — from feeling very
concerned about my mother at the beginning, as well as
concern about how Yom Tov and Shabbos could possibly work out
well in a hospital setting with all the many imagined
drawbacks — to quickly leaving all in Hashem's Hands
and knowing He would direct me in the best way. Hashem's
Presence was unquestionably with us in that room throughout
that period. He orchestrated an amazing three days for us!
(This incident is all the more poignant today since my mother
passed away during this past chol hamoed Pesach. One
of the most remarkable memories of a special time
together.)
