Part III
Adapted from the book Darchei HaChaim which
includes guidance and hashkofoh in the Torah
lifestyle, the basics of chinuch for our times, and
tips heard and recorded from HaRav Michel Yehuda
Lefkowitz.
Darchei HaChaim includes articles, instructions and
guidance for parents and educators, disseminators of Torah
and bnei yeshivos. For many years, HaRav Michel Yehuda
Lefkowitz has served as a fortress of strength for rosh
yeshivas and disseminators of Torah, parents, educators, and
the general community of bnei Torah, in Israel and the
Diaspora, teaching daas Torah and pure
hashkofoh for all areas of life and giving guidance in
the chinuch path handed down from generation to
generation, all benefiting from his advice and resources. The
sefer contains hundreds of instructions and briefings
in all areas of life, touching on many very relevant
educational problems of our times, all directly from one of
the outstanding gedolim of the generation.
Each section stands on its own.
The Role of a Maggid Shiur
The role of a maggid shiur is not only to teach the
talmidim the masechta which is being studied at
the yeshiva. He has to also teach them how to learn a page of
gemora, how to learn the words of the Rishonim,
and how to properly say a sevoroh.
Therefore the maggid shiur must be well-prepared. The
whole sugya must be clear to him so that he may be
able to guide the talmidim in their learning, so that
the meaning of the gemora, Rashi, the questions and
answers of Tosafos, are all clear. He should see to it that
they understand the way Rashi explained the sugya and
what difficulty Tosafos had with his explanation, and how
Tosafos explained things differently. And similarly for the
approaches of the other Rishonim.
Having a lot of information will not teach them how to learn.
Only when they learn to begin to clarify a sugya will
they be able to go on in their learning.
One time they complained about a certain ram that he
was not saying enough chidushim. My Rebbe said to that
ram: As long as you do not say enough, I do not care.
The problem will start when they will say that you are saying
too much.
The Task of a Mashgiach
The main job of the mashgiach is to lift up the good
bochurim.
One mashgiach asked Mori Verabbi that usually there
are a few individuals who take up a good portion of the time
and the attention of the mashgiach, and the
mashgiach can thus not give over properly to the
others. How should the mashgiach conduct himself?
And Mori Verabbi answered that, aderabo, the most
essential part of the job is to raise up the stronger
bochurim—and not as people think, that the good
ones will be alright anyway—because once you bring up
the good ones, you have a beis hamedrash.
You have to watch that the problematic ones do not disturb
the good students, and obviously you have to help and
supervise the middle and weak ones.
To Relate to People in a Language that they
Understand
The Rov is fully aware of the nature of the bochurim
and that not all people are equal and no two people are
alike. For example, for one person, to get to shacharis
davening in the morning at the end of Pesukei
Dezimroh would be a tremendous achievement, whereas for
someone else, that would be a huge failure.
One of the mashgichim asked the Rov, therefore: "Do we
need to relate to each person at the level at which he is, or
should it be as it is stated (Shabbos 10:2),
Le'olom al yeshaneh odom beno bein habonim — a
person should never treat one child differently from the
others. So perhaps one should not discriminate in the way he
treats the bochurim.
The Rov responded that we should still speak to each person
in a language he could understand, and as for whether this
would not cause jealousy and competitiveness—if your
intentions are for the sake of Heaven, they will see that you
live with truth, and there will be no hatred or jealousy.
In the times we live today, every rosh yeshiva and ram
in a yeshiva has to additionally take up somewhat the role of
a mashgiach, so that the talmidim will feel
they have someone to turn to talk over their concerns.
The Rov said to an avreich who served as
mashgiach at one of the yeshivas: See to it that you
keep up a connection and contact with every one of the
bochurim at least once a month.
The Rov said to one mashgiach that he ought to once in
a while take students out in the evening to some quiet park,
to converse with them and let them air their thoughts with a
good feeling. However, he should be careful that the student
should not have the sense of having a peer relationship with
the mashgiach.
Giving Over Torah Shiurim
The Rov said that when the mashgiach teaches and also
gives over shiurei Torah in the yeshiva as well, it
has a whole different significance and status. However, when
he does not give over the shiurim, but only "talks in
learning" with the talmidim, it is not worthwhile.
Because in the times in which we live, the bochurim
are critical of everyone, and they can end up treating
him with less respect if they do not like what he says in
learning. The main thing is for him to be shrewd and a bar
daas.
Once, when he went into his shiur, the Rov asked one
of his talmidim whether he could tell him which of the
talmidim in the shiur was destined for
greatness. As the talmid was thinking which talented
people he meant, the Rov interrupted him saying: "Do not try
to think, because you will not succeed. Neither you nor I are
capable of knowing that! [It is not innate talents that
ensure a bochur's future.]
How Great is the Impact of A Rov's Behavior Towards His
Talmidim in those Years
Today, we see and hear about fathers and mothers who shed
tears like water over the state of their sons and daughters
of all ages, whether they are twelve years old or ten, or
even younger. They ask, how did it come to this? At the
beginning of the road everything was going smoothly —
how is it that they suddenly turned away from the straight
path?
All this should arouse us to ask how such a situation could
come about. It should wake us up to think where is this
situation coming from. It did not come from a mistake that
was made, but because they did not invest sufficient effort
and thought to reflect on how to direct them and how to treat
these precious souls at the beginning of their
chinuch— for that is how they came to such a
fall.
On the other hand, we sometimes see a boy who is broken and
weak, to the point where people saw no more hope for him, and
then suddenly at the beginning of a new year he becomes a new
person and you see the brochoh in his learning.
What brought about this change, and what is the root of the
change in such situations as these?
Many times it most probably is related to the mechanchim.
It can even happen that the rebbe-mechanech
himself does not feel that he has effected any change in
his talmid, but just that the goodness of his heart
and his cordial manner towards that talmid has its
effect, and it caused that talmid to find the strength
to change and improve himself.
Thus the rebbe can merit that an illustrious person be
elevated and reach higher levels than anyone in his
generation as a result of the foundation and initial force
that spurred him to greatness from his rebbe in
cheder.
On the other hand, choliloh, the opposite could be
true, as one of those natives of the little town of Iviya
told the story of his education. He said that he was the same
age as HaRav Chaim Ozer, and learned with him in the same
class with a certain rebbe when they were young. At that time
he was considered a more outstanding talmid than HaRav
Chaim Ozer. However, once, the rebbe hit him too much.
So he stopped going to his lesson, and stopped learning
altogether, and he wound up a simple craftsman.
I do not know whether the story is true or not, but at any
rate, as a parable it definitely gives food for thought on
the enormous influence a rebbe's conduct can have on
his talmidim in those early years.
Working on Middos
I can tell you, both from valid incidents and dozens of years
of experienc, that the basic makeup of a person—that
is, how he builds his future and sets himself up for
life— is not his talents, and all the other matters
that establish them, but rather his middos. If a
person has good middos then he has a shining future.
But if his middos, chas vecholiloh, are
otherwise—he is far from everything. Sometimes one can
get a mistaken impression, but in truth he is completely far
from any ascent in growth.
I heard it said in the name of HaRav Boruch Ber
ztvk"l, that when people want to refute a
chiddush that another person says — they have to
exert themselves and work at least as hard to check out the
true explanation for the competing opinion, as the hard work
that the original person invested in his chiddush. And
if one does not do so, that is arrogance on his part
Rachmono litzlan.
And that is what we always saw and heard about all the great
rabbonim of our time and those of the previous
generation, all the famous ones—that the most basic of
basics for them was good middos.
One of the talmidim of HaRav Boruch Ber told me, that
his Rebbe once gave words of chizuk to his talmidim
and spoke on the subject of toiling in Torah. He said,
"What is the definition of a person who could be considered
immersed in his studies?" He gave an example from himself: "I
learn a sugya until I fall asleep from sheer
exhaustion. But as soon as I wake up I carry on
learning— right from the place where I left off when I
fell asleep.
"This is called immersion in your studies: when sleep is not
a break nor a departure from one's learning."
You can only be zocheh to acquire Torah if when you
close the gemora you do not disconnect from your
learning, nor disconnect from the gemora.
On Rosh Chodesh Tammuz 5757 (1997) the gaon HaRav
Eliyahu Svei came to visit the Rov at his home and discussed
with him the question he had been asked about having the
Shas translated into Hebrew by a select team of
talmidei chachomim, and whether this was a correct
thing to do. The Rov said to him: "The Shas does not
have to be open to everyone. On the contrary, just as they
said not to teach Torah to women, nor to amei
ho'oretz, nor to people on a low level who do not
understand the Torah properly—we do not need to look
for methods of opening the gates of Shas to them. It
requires hard work and toil to get in to understand
Shas."
The Rov added: "The Sages of the Talmud wrote the Shas
on a certain level so that it would suit young
talmidim as well as great scholars in Torah. We have
no business trying to bring it down or to change its
level."
I heard from the Rov: "There was an incident with a
talmid in a yeshiva ketana, who yearned deeply
for Torah, but his mother registered him at a professional
college, in spite of his protests. I took this talmid
to the Chazon Ish, who right away took a gemora out of
the closet, maseches Taanis, and sat down and learned
together with the boy (21a):
"The gemora says that Ilfa and R' Yochonon were
learning Torah. They were very poor. They said: Let us go and
do a deal and fulfill in ourselves the posuk, `There
will no poor person among you.' On the way, they were sitting
down under a weak wall and eating. Two angels came, and Rabbi
Yochonon heard one of them say to the other: `Let us make the
wall fall down on them and kill them, because they are laying
aside Olam Habo and are busying themselves with their
temporal lives . . .' "
Here the Chazon Ish stopped and commented to the
talmid: "From here we learn that one is not obligated
to follow his mother's wishes on this matter." He followed
this advice and he became very successful in Torah.
A talmud Torah once hired a rebbe who was considered
really excellent for the eighth grade, but before he began
teaching it was discovered that he was sending his son to
learn in Maarovo [a yeshiva-ketanoh-level school which
incorporates secular subjects in its curriculum]. The Rov
ordered that the contract with him be cancelled even if it
involved extra costs, on the grounds that a person like that
was not suited to teach talmidim al taharas hakodesh
and it would have strong influence, especially when the
talmidim found out where his son was learning.
If you take a look at the Or Somayach you see how he easily
moves through the Bavli and the Yerushalmi and
the poskim. How did he come to merit this?
I heard from some elderly people that he had learned in
Bialystok in a yeshiva where the Oneg Yom Tov was a teacher,
and for decades he was aware of nothing beyond the
shtender and the gemora. That is how he became
the Or Somayach.
The Netziv too sat for more than twenty years in an attic,
and that's how he became the Netziv.
You know what I heard about all the time at home when I was
growing up? About the diligence of the Netziv! We lived in a
townlet next to the rov's house, and we were constantly
hearing about the Netziv's diligence.
My father told me about the Netziv. How, after he got
married, as an avreich, he went up to an attic,
closeted himself in, and stayed there for 24 years, learning
with tremendous diligence, and when he stepped down from that
roof — he was the Netziv! Such was the power of his
diligence and persistence in Torah [Letters from
talmidim].
Feelings Change According to a Person's Situation
One baal teshuva said to the Rov, that at the
beginning of his road to teshuva he had felt very
powerful emotions, but that now they had lessened . . . the
Rov said: "At the beginning of the road, the difference for
you [among the choices you made] was between black and white,
and therefore the feeling was powerful. But now the
differences are between white and a whiter white, that is,
between those who keep Torah and mitzvos and those who have
yiras Shomayim, where the distinction is much finer.
Therefore, your feelings are not as strong as they were
before. But aderabo, that is a positive sign.
Treasures of Wisdom are Opened to Him
A baal teshuva once asked the Rov how was it possible
that someone like him, who had not even known what Krias
Shema was could, after only half a year of observing
Torah and mitzvos, already learn and understand gemora,
poskim, and Tosafos?
The Rov responded: "There would be no way of understanding
limud Torah without siyata deShmaya from
HaKodosh Boruch Hu. Therefore, when a person who
learns demonstrates dedication and devotion, he becomes
worthy of siyata deShmaya.
"Thus, it is obvious that a person who has forsaken the
vanities of this world, raised himself up with great self-
sacrifice, and triumphed over all his tests will have
enormous siyata deShmaya, and that is why the gates of
wisdom have been opened wide for him."
The Rov added: "This is the explanation of the posuk, Ki
Hashem yittein chochmoh mipiv daas utevuna (Mishlei
2:6).
