"Why did you convert?"
"We're having a day of introspection (Yom Iyun), a
seminar forum, at our school and we'd like to invite you to
speak to the girls. Could you prepare a 45- minute talk on
the subject of your conversion?"
"Why don't you write a book about your conversion? I'm sure
many people would benefit from hearing your story!"
Discipline is one answer...
No matter how often I'm approached, I'm usually delighted to
comply with the request. I don't shun a spotlight; I've
always been an entertainer; I've always enjoyed talking and
my favorite subjects are Me, Myself and I. So now, to satisfy
a superficial curiosity, you know the basis of one of the
reasons I converted. It depends on your perspective, if you
view this as egotistical or generous. The real answers go
much deeper, of course.
I converted because it was good for me. I took a long 31-
year look at my life and I decided I needed to change
something big. I was married to a Jew and had a child. I
had a longing to express my belief in the Creator but I had
no words, deeds or tools with which to pass this belief on to
my child. I recognized that my concern for myself had driven
me to search for the truth but that I had, in searching, run
as far away from the truth as could be allowed. I finally
turned to the only One Who could help me with a prayer that
He show me the way and in His mercy, He cracked a hard shell
and let the truth seep in.
Why did I convert? Because I had finally recognized that
without discipline, a human being wastes away. Because a
human being is responsible for his immediate family; they
were given to him from Above. Because I recognized that what
is good for Me, Myself and I is truly good only if it is also
truly good for everyone else I deal with and for the world at
large. One can only plug into this system of good if one has
connected with the Truth.
*
My first contacts with Judaism were on the periphery, perhaps
even beyond the pale. The closer I came to the Truth, the
more and more I identified with the Torah.
I could name thousands of reasons why I converted and all
of them are significant. Some people have questioned my
sincerity along the way. They didn't find the reasons I
mentioned to them significant enough to warrant conversion.
The problem lies in the question. Does this question really
have a feasible answer?
One would have to go to great depths to try to explain to
anyone the real truth about the matter but these are reasons
which belong to Hashem alone. Some things, when revealed,
dissipate and disappear; they are meant to be guarded well.
The future generations will know whether one converted for
the right reasons. May the convert's children and
grandchildren prove that the decision was indeed good for all
of Creation, for Jewry, as well as for him/her!
*
The Ramchal in Derech Hashem explains that before
Mattan Torah it was possible for all nations to accept
the yoke. Hashem built this into His plan for Creation. When
the Torah was offered to them as nations, they rejected it.
However, there were individuals among the nations who were
eager to accept the Torah. Hashem ordained that in following
generations they would be reincarnated and would be given the
opportunity to convert as individuals. So the next time you
meet a convert and want to know why s/he converted -- know
that you are unlikely to get the real answer. If he tells
you that he converted because his soul said `Yes' at Har
Sinai, believe him.
Imagine asking Yisro why he converted? He might tell you
about each of the disappointments he experienced with all of
the idolatries he studied. Now that would be a long story!
If was a great chessed of Hashem to allow those of us
who arrive late to participate in this great banquet. The
great love of the Jew for the convert is evident wherever I
go. [Ed. This is particularly true in her case because of the
exceptional, wonderful person Tziporah is!] The deep desire
of the Jew to serve Hashem and the joy with which my friends
and neighbors have accepted, encouraged, assisted and loved
me and my children goes beyond my ability to describe.
We have, indeed, been blessed. When I consider how patiently
they have waited until I learned to emulate and imitate their
ways, imbibe their attitudes and acquire the sensitivity of
this nation of merciful sons of the merciful, I blush to
recognize how this nation differs from all other nations in
the world. I was raised to be good-hearted, honest and
devout, but this upbringing was a far cry from being
Jewish!
May Hashem bless the world soon with the coming of Moshiach
in the merit of His beloved Am Segula, of which I am,
thankfully, a member.
