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11 Sivan 5762 - May 22, 2002 | Mordecai Plaut, director Published Weekly
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LETTERS, FEEDBACK, EITZES

Each `Shimshi' is as precious and valuable as every other child and it is up to teachers and parents alike to help him reach his own potential...

What is Best For Shimshi?

Comments by A. Ross, M. Ed.

Reading Rabbi Zobin's short article [Parshas Behar] on trying to fit a square peg into a round hole brings to mind the numerous children who have been brought to me for assessment and tutoring. Most of them need a few months of intensive coaching, by which time they are well up to the standard of the class.

However, there are some `Shimshi's who do not fit into the particular school which their parents have chosen for them. Many years ago, I tutored ('crammed' they called it in those days) a boy to get him into a prestigious fee-paying grammar school. I felt it was wrong for the boy, as did my colleagues. He passed the entrance exam and was accepted at the school, but became a failure. It was not the right school for him. Occasionally, when it is one of these schools which is known for its high standard and for pressuring the children to achieve/maintain this standard, parents realize that they have made a mistake and they will agree to remove the child and send him to a different school.

That is fine when we are speaking about an average child with a good working brain. But what about the child who is borderline, whose parents just will not face up to the fact? When a child is born with Down's syndrome, for instance, parents accept the limitations and try to help the child to achieve his maximum potential. But often, the first signs of academic inadequacy are noted in pre-school or Grade One. Parents are advised to get extra help, either for reading or speech. Some time later, they are advised to keep the child back for another year, to do the same grade twice. If a child is immature, that may be very good advice. If the child simply cannot understand what is being taught, staying back will not help him. He will still be the slowest in the class.

There is no straight answer to this question. Some time ago, I advised a couple to let their child attend a school for children with special needs. The parents refused, stubbornly and persistently. They claimed that with the right help, he would be able to hold his own in a regular school which did not make many demands on its students.

This boy has been coming to me for three years now, during school hours, one hour a day, six days a week. He learned to read, although he does not understand what he reads. He has learned to count and do simple addition and subtraction, although he finds abstract problems difficult. He can translate Chumash by rote but does not understand the story behind the translation. He is almost ten now and feels good about himself. He is not bright enough to realize that he is right behind the rest of the class and that the gap is widening steadily.

With hindsight, his parents were right and I was wrong. They have not pressured him; they are letting him develop at his own pace, and he did not go to a `special' school. His mother does his homework for him, when it is within her grasp, and as far as I can see, he will continue in this way for years to come. Not all schools would tolerate boys like that in their classrooms, and not all boys (or girls) are so `borderline' that they are unaware of the situation.

The challenge for parents of little `Shimshi's is to find the right educational establishment which will not stigmatize them -- the parents -- and will let their child develop at his own pace. Unfortunately, there is the danger that the child will be allowed to stagnate. Teachers might ignore him if they know he doesn't understand anyway. That is soul- destroying for the child and teaches him to be lazy, too. [Ed. Then, again he may suddenly have a rude awakening that he is not suited, scholastically or socially!]

Each `Shimshi' is as precious and valuable as every other child and it is up to teachers and parents alike to help him reach his own potential, but not to push him beyond his limits. Not everyone is born to be a gaon.

 

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