Have you ever looked into a mirror long enough to see your
soul, to forget who you are? To transcend the physical?
A required exercise before reading the following poem from a
soon-to-be- released volume of poems and essays by VARDA
BRANFMAN, "I REMEMBERED IN THE NIGHT YOUR NAME." Presented
in free verse, as it was written.
I cannot pry my hand from her hand. Her hands are my
hands.
I will never leave her. Her greatest joy is to sing out to
Hashem and dance before Him. She is always the precious
child. She is the being of light. She is beloved. She is
me.
I am the precious child. He created me, and He has never
left me alone. I am the child alone who is never alone. I am
the woman who is the child who is never filled with darkness
even when they are measuring and weighing me. They cannot
measure and weigh me with their instruments of darkness. I
have never stayed still long enough to be measured and
weighed. My heart is heavier than the greatest sea boulder
and lighter than the smell of sea at the center of my
being.
I cannot give me away, or give me up for grabs, or give me
in to the authorities. I have been hidden in the smallest
attic at the top of the highest tower. I have been hidden
under the floor boards and felt the thud of their steps as I
peered in through the skylight. I can slip in and slip out,
but I will never be found because I am never lost. I have
lived many lifetimes in many worlds and places, but I am
always the same eternal child.
Try to understand and remember who you are. You are also the
child at the heart of your being. You are not like that
beautiful child. You are that child.
