Dmitri Prokofiev, a Hebrew-speaking journalist based in
Moscow who works for the Israeli media, occasionally manages
to dispatch fascinating reports that can be found nowhere
else.
Michael Smiranov, 30, worked as a guard for a Moscow
security company, but had higher aspirations. One day he met
a drunk who introduced himself as the former commander of
the tax police in a provincial town called Shilovo. After
the first few drinks, the man told him that he had quarreled
with the mayor and left his job, slamming the door on his
way out. For the past two months, Shilovo had been without a
commander for the tax police.
"How do you know they haven't found someone to replace you?"
asked Smiranov.
His new friend laughed and said, "Only the Personnel
Department at the Tax Police in Moscow is authorized to
appoint the new commander, and no one wants to travel out to
Shilovo. I have already told all of my friends what a hole-
in-the-wall it is."
A few days later Shilovo's new Tax Police Commander arrived
in town, a man dressed in a captain's uniform who introduced
himself as Michael Smiranov. The municipal administration
was pleased with him: without a commander the Tax Police had
been paralyzed and the local merchants had taken advantage
of the situation, nearly ceasing to pay taxes entirely. The
new commander was immediately given the best room in the
local hotel, and the next day he set out for work.
The Tax Police Commander's job went something like this: he
would come into a store and demand to check the ledgers.
Shop owners saw a man in uniform, and none of them dared to
request to see his ID. During the inquiry Smiranov would
gripe about his low wages and every shop owner took the hint
right away.
Smiranov would receive a wad of money and the store owner
would receive a promise that he would have no trouble over
his unpaid taxes.
Thus Smiranov "operated" around the town for a period of six
weeks. At City Hall he was thought of as a well-disciplined
officer. One day the mayor called him in for a talk and
proposed that he run in the district council elections, in
place of a painter who had died.
At that point Smiranov made a dumb mistake. Instead of
saying something like, "Give me some time to think it over"
and slipping out of town, he told the mayor he had enough
and was returning to Moscow for a better assignment. He
walked out of the office, slamming the door behind him, and
went to the train station.
The mayor called the Tax Police in Moscow right away to
complain about the commander who had been working for just
six weeks and was already leaving. The man who picked up the
phone in Moscow was just the right man (which is a rare
occurrence). He checked his computer and said, "Just a
minute, sir, which new commander are you talking about? You
haven't had a Tax Police Commander for three months."
