"Angels on wheels... angels with messages..."
Helen Keller is known to have recommended that everyone
experience being blind and deaf for just one day. Judaism
includes many halochos that involve showing special
consideration to people who are vulnerable or disadvantaged,
whether physically, financially or by virtue of their
circumstances in life. These laws are meant to improve our
middos by generating increased empathy and
sensitivity as well as appreciation for our own positive
circumstances in life. Even poor people are meant to give
tzedoka.
I decided to stage an empathy lesson recently. I blindfolded
my son and told him to make his way to the bathroom and
brush his teeth. Then I told him to remove the blindfold,
mouthed a message to him and asked him to try and read my
lips. I asked him to listen to the sounds of the house that
he never notices but unconsciously registers. I had him
`sign' a message to me (he had learned the sign alphabet
somewhere). I then gave him a cup of chocolate milk and had
him drink it while holding his nose. Finally, we both tried
to write "I love you" holding a marker between our toes and
with our mouths.
Although my son treated the whole thing like a game, he did
get the underlying message and he asked pertinant questions
later. It made us more aware of the special challenges which
many individuals face and appreciate the senses we often
take for granted, the senses that we're meant to use to
appreciate Hashem's magnificent handiwork. How often do we
say "pokeiach ivrim, zokef kefufim" or "hameichin
mitzadei gever" with the proper kavona?
People who are most sensitive to others who are in some way
challenged, usually have some experience with someone close
to them who is in a similar position. It's natural to
display more sensitivity towards a situation with which we
have first hand knowledge, but we can develop that
sensitivity without G-d forbid having to experience it first
hand.
Mothers wheeling baby carriages and trying to maneuver them
around cars parked on sidewalks or piles of garbage, or
being unable to get up a flight of stairs, are able to
empathize with the difficulties faced by someone in a
wheelchair who encounters the same obstacles every day.
Similarly, a father trying to childproof his home by
crawling around on all fours to get a baby-eye view of the
domicile can understand the concept of making an area
obstacle-free for a blind person. So can we sensitize
ourselves and our children to the hardships faced by those
who have some kind of limiting condition while at the same
time appreciating the deceptively simple functions our
bodies perform for us every day. We can also admire the
creative coping strategies that have been developed for and
by people with disabilities.
While we need to understand the special needs of these
people, we need also to admire and learn from the resilience
and determination of people who have no use of their hands
yet become painters, people who have no use of their legs
yet become athletes, people who cannot hear but become
musicians.
I saw a man on his way to shul not long ago in a wheelchair,
completely covered with a talis. He looked like an
angel on wheels. Many of these people are angels with
messages that the soul can be whole even if the body is not
and we are more than our limitations. We, too, can become
angels when we offer empathy and encouragement and try to
see things from another's perspective.
One of the reasons there are people with physical and mental
disabilities is to teach us compassion and give us the
opportunity to show kindness and understanding. And if we go
out of our way to offer consideration and understanding, we
may also discover that we have a lot to learn not only about
but from these unique individuals.
