Oops! It was a mistake! I didn't mean it.
How often do we say this! Perhaps several times a day.
Errors are usually seen as being negative, embarrassing
aspects of our existence, which should never occur, and we
try our best not to repeat them.
In spite of this, there is no one who does not make a
mistake once in a while, even with reasonable effort.
Mistakes are wide ranging and diverse, big ones versus small
ones; some errors bring a smile to our lips, while others
cause anger and necessitate an apology; embarrassing
mistakes and faults which disappoint us, and others which
seem totally negligible compared to those which have a major
impact and are hard to overlook.
People's reactions to blunders are also varied, although
this depends largely on the type of mistake. You probably
know the type of person who's afraid to err in any way. For
them, every small gaffe is the end of the world and the
experience strongly discourages them from trying again. For
others, slips are nearly the norm, and there are those who
can relate to major errors with good cheer and make everyone
involved smile.
Even though "mistakes tend to repeat themselves," they
sometimes turn out to be helpful and beneficial. This time
we decided to concentrate on mistakes where, in spite of all
expectations, things turned out for the good! The examples
below may seem fictional, but they are authentic stories
which were brought to our attention.
THE ERRONEOUS SHIDDUCH
The shadchan finally persuaded the parents of the
young lady to consider his suggestion. After the information
was checked out and turned out to be positive, a first date
was arranged to take place in the lobby of a well known
hotel. "Eight o'clock sharp tonight at the Hilton!" the
shadchan concluded. "The young man will be standing
near the entrance with a book in his hand so that she can
easily recognize him."
The young woman arrived on time, and was pleased to see a
fine young man with a book waiting by the door. The meeting
proceeded smoothly and both agreed to meet again, even
without the intermediary.
Only afterwards did the `mistake' come to light. This was
not the boy the shadchan had in mind, but someone
else who was waiting to meet another girl, and who, by
`chance', was also holding a book. We have no idea whatever
happened to the other pair, just as we never found out how
they arranged the shadchan's fee. But what is sure is
that the shidduch turned out well and the pair is now
happily married.
HE ANSWERED `AMEN' IN SPITE OF HIMSELF
A very accomplished, eligible but relatively older young
lady remained unattached, stuck at home for years, because
of a lack of agreement between her parents and her
grandfather regarding prospective matches. Since the
grandfather would be donating a large chunk of the dowry, he
necessarily had a decisive voice in the matter and as suitor
after suitor was voted down, it seemed as if she would never
find someone to please all sides concerned.
One day a new suggestion came up and the name was
immediately passed on to the grandfather so that he could do
the necessary research. To the surprise and relief of all,
he gave his full approval; the parents were elated that they
could finally go ahead with something that pleased them,
too. The two young people met, found themselves compatible,
and the vort took place in the presence of the
immediate family.
The official engagement party was scheduled for a few days
later. It was then that the grandfather was faced with the
shocking -- for him -- surprise that the young man he had
checked out was a cousin by the same name! The actual young
man who became engaged to the granddaughter did not meet the
grandfather's full approval, but at that point all he could
do was concede a reluctant `Amen'.
MASHGIACH WANTED
The principal of a yeshiva once called a good friend of his
who lived in a city in the center of the country, asking for
help in finding a suitable mashgiach. The friend was
sure that he required a kashrus mashgiach for the
yeshiva kitchen and recommended a young talmid
chochom, sincere and reliable, whom he thought would be
suitable for the position.
Actually, what the principal was looking for was a
mashgiach ruchani, and when the young man came to the
interview, he was questioned with that goal in mind. The
Rosh Yeshiva spoke to him at length and was impressed by
what he saw and heard. He decided that the candidate was,
indeed, suited for the position of spiritual supervisor,
which he holds to this very day!
THE SUCCESSFUL TREATMENT
A school supervisor told us the following story about a
young student.
Pinchos had always suffered from learning difficulties. He
had begun cheder at the age of three, and up till his
Bar Mitzva, his teachers had considered him one of the
weakest in the class.
When he was fourteen, circumstances required that his
tonsils be removed. The boy kept on hearing his parents
discussing the operation and how it would solve `the
problem'. In his innocence, Pinchos took it for granted that
`the problem' they were referring to was his learning
difficulty.
The operation was successful and afterwards, his teachers
reported a remarkable improvement in Pinchos' studies...
SAVED BY THE SALT
A close friend of ours told us this amazing story about a
mistake, which at first seemed to have totally ruined
everything.
"My husband and I took it upon ourselves to help a secular
couple become religious. Both of them are academicians of
the highest caliber and sought- after university
lecturers.
"The ongoing discussions we have center around the question
of whether or not a person can be noble and good without
keeping Torah and its commandments. They insist that it is
possible, and all of our explanations and arguments to
convince them otherwise have, so far, failed.
"On one occasion, we decided to invite them over for cake
and coffee in order to continue our discussions in a
congenial home atmosphere. I flipped through my favorite
recipes and chose one which I felt was sure to impress and
delight: a layered cake with chocolate mousse and chopped
nuts, topped with whipped cream, a delicacy which I prepare
only for very special events.
"It involved a lot of work but in the end the torte came out
looking beautiful. I truly hoped that it would help us
accomplish our purpose.
"The guests arrived and sat down. I brought in a tray with
coffee and several slices of cake. I noticed that they
tasted the cake, turned their faces away and stopped eating.
Feeling very uncomfortable, I decided to go into the kitchen
and check it out myself. The first bite confirmed my fears!
I had put in salt instead of sugar.
"I am at a loss to describe the dreadful, sinking feeling I
had at that moment. Aside from all the work that had gone
into the cake and the waste of such expensive ingredients,
not to mention the terrible embarrassment, the worst part
was its failure to achieve the goal it was meant to
accomplish. What could I do now?
"Silently, I prayed to Hashem for help. My prayer was
answered. I went back into the living room and in a casual
voice, said, `Oh, I'm so sorry! What a stupid mistake I
made! I put salt into the cake instead of sugar! The paper
bags look so similar and the fine salt really looks like
sugar. I must have switched the cannisters. I really goofed
it, didn't I!'
"After the guests stopped laughing, we explained to them how
this perfectly illustrated the point of contention between
us, just like in a parable. A secular Jew who conducts
himself discreetly and in a refined manner may seem very
much like a religious Jew in respect to certain points, yet
when one `tastes' a life of Torah and mitzvos, the
difference becomes apparent.
"This seemed to hit the mark. They truly enjoyed the
explanation. What all of our lengthy, tiring polemics could
not accomplish, was achieved through humor and a mistaken
ingredient."
SMALL MISTAKES, BIG BENEFITS
Sometimes, people don't realize the benefits they gain from
small mistakes.
* Often new recipes are discovered which later become family
favorites.
* Penicillin, the first antibiotic, was developed as a
result of a scientists's mistake, and many other important
discoveries were also made through unintentional but
Providential blunders by researchers.
* Think of how much the Italians gained by the mistake made
in the construction of the Tower of Pisa. The tilt of this
building has earned it everlasting fame and untold income
from tourists.
* How often has a product become well known because an error
in the advertising jingle brought it instant popularity?
* Patients sometimes experience a complete cure because of
so-called `medical negligence.'
OPTICAL ILLUSION
Perhaps the biggest error is to call these faults
`mistakes', although this is how they seem to us with our
narrow view of things. However, in the eyes of Heaven, these
slips and mishaps are part of the Divine Design and are
meant to occur exactly as they do. This is true whether the
errors are big or small, important or inconsequential, and
whether the ending is happy or sad.
The great Sages of Mussar teach us that it is not us nor our
efforts which achieve the desired result, even if it
mistakenly appears so. They tell the story of a big fish who
was pursuing a smaller fish for his dinner.
The only way a fish can safely swallow another fish is head
on, because of the sharp fins that fold back. When the fish
was caught, a smaller fish was found in its belly with its
head pointing towards the tail, that is, reversed from the
direction of pursuit. Hashgacha prepared the big
fish's meal from a different direction altogether.
The same is true in our own lives and it is up to us to
realize that everything is ordained by Heaven -- a person
does not even bruise his finger here, below, unless it was
decreed from Above. The reason `errors' are seen as such is
due to an `optical illusion' on our part.
