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Home
and Family
Working Mothers
by R. Chadshai
A working mother is not just a woman working, she is
primarily a mother, and after that she is a working woman.
Women who are happy to have many children do not usually
choose an absorbing career which will take up most of the
day. Even if a woman has an excellent housekeeper who does
all her domestic work, a cleaner who will keep the house
sparkling, and baby sitters who will look after the children
in the afternoon, she cannot be the perfect mother she would
like to be, if her thoughts are on her chosen career.
When a woman is obliged to work, children take it as a matter
of course, and come to terms with the fact that there are
some hours when their mother is not available for them. They
understand that she goes to work because the family needs the
money, but they expect her to be on hand the minute she comes
home. However, there is a vast difference between a woman who
is employed as a secretary for instance, and someone who is
the head of a school, or matron in a hospital ward. The two
latter might frequently receive emergency calls, which will
take up a great deal of their time, entailing difficult
decisions and several phone calls. Children are amazingly
perceptive, and can differentiate between an essential phone
call, and a social call, even when they are very young.
Whether the mother returns home, either before the children
come from school or after them, most children will welcome
her enthusiastically, in order to share their news and day's
experiences. A wise mother will disconnect the phone during
this first half hour of reunion. Children's finely tuned
feelings can sense if mother is only with them physically,
and not in thought. If someone calls her on her cellphone,
before she gets home, it is a good idea to stay outside a few
moments longer, till the call is ended, so as not to disturb
these important, wholehearted greetings.
Women working from home have several advantages over other
working mothers. First thing in the morning, they are more
relaxed about getting the children off to school. They do not
have to catch a bus (and sometimes miss it, which raises the
blood pressure alarmingly), or drive to work through endless
traffic. If a child is sick, they will not need a baby
sitter. They are never caught in traffic jams when it is time
to leave work; hoping that some kind neighbor will take the
children in when they come from school.
However, the disadvantages have to be taken into account as
well. People tend to 'forget' that a woman is working when
she does not leave the house. She will be the keeper of the
spare keys to adjoining homes and will be asked to take in
deliveries, whatever they might be. Friends will phone her to
take in the laundry when there is a sudden rainstorm. If they
are delayed for any reason, she will be the one to look after
the working neighbors' children. Although she is happy to do
these small kindnesses (could you check to see if I turned
the gas off, would you mind lighting the oven for me at
twelve) they all take time, and interrupt her concentration
if her work requires this.
A woman who invests in merchandise, and instead of going to
the expense of renting accommodation, sells the goods from
home, may find that the disadvantages outweigh the
advantages. Firstly, she loses one of her rooms. Secondly, if
she is selling clothes, customers may turn other parts of the
house into fitting rooms. She tries to get the children into
bed before eight or eight thirty, the time she opens
officially, but the front door bell rings at six thirty. When
she points out that the 'store' is only open at 8.00, the
would-be customer claims that she was not aware of this, and
since she has come all this way . . . If it were a real
store, customers would not continue knocking on a locked
door. By this time the children are completely unruly, and in
all likelihood will take advantage of Mother's preoccupation,
staying up till all hours.
A mother who starts a playgroup at home because her two-year-
old is ready for company, and she feels she will save money
by importing company for him into the house, may often end up
by sending him to a different playgroup. After the initial
excitement, he might become her most difficult child. He may
be very possessive of 'his' toys, and even 'his' Mommy. He
might become clingy and begin to whine incessantly. Working
at home is not always a sinecure.
Women become accustomed to their work, whether they leave the
house or stay at home. Most of them manage the difficult task
of balancing their two roles (plus the third, of being a good
wife), remarkably well. They learn not to become addicted to
their work, and get their priorities right. They show the
children, that above all else, they are more important than
anything.
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