News
Facing and Overcoming Learning Disabilities in Cheder Children

by M. Samsonowitz

Attempting to Overcome the Apathy and the Stigma

The recent outpouring of articles about how to deal with an errant child fails to sufficiently emphasize that in the majority of cases, signs of warning were apparent years before. The late mashgiach of Yeshivas Kamenitz, HaRav Moshe Aaron Stern zt"l, used to say this in his own way, "People say, `Little children, little problems; big children, big problems,' but I say that if one takes care of the problems when they are little, they won't become big."

This is the message that Rav Boruch Heiman seeks to teach the community. Rav Heiman was the coordinator of a national youth movement for three years and had experience in a wide range of areas, including a degree from Hebrew University in industrial psychology, work as a real estate agent, and five years in kollel.

In 1985, he saw a large group of bochurim aged 13-16 walking the streets of Jerusalem with no direction in life. He decided to open a club for them with trips, games, and activities, as he had done when he was a youth group leader. As he got to know them and he heard their stories, he realized that their situation was rooted in their younger years, when they were still in cheder. Again and again he heard, "The rebbe didn't love me," or "It was too difficult to sit in shiur," or "I couldn't read," or "I couldn't cope with the pressure." In many cases the problem was learning disabilities.

Heiman tried to deal with the root of the problem instead of trying to deal with the results. He opened an educational organization called Shaleim ("Perfection") which tried to help children with learning difficulties who were still within the system. This was similar to the P'tach program which was founded in the U.S. years before.

"We went to the chadorim, and offered to give children with learning disabilities resources, psychological help and professional special education teachers, but few places were willing to accept our offer," he says about those early years. Finally, twelve chadorim in Jerusalem and Bnei Brak accepted his offer to implement a Shaleim program.

After working with chadorim for seven years this way, he realized that Shaleim would be much more effective if its program were implemented in an independent school. He felt the major advantage to having a separate school is that the child wouldn't feel targeted within their class, and the child could advance within a small class of 8-10 students, with a tailor-made program that provided him with understanding rebbeim, special assistance from learning specialists and a no-pressure environment.

Although the school could help him develop his learning skills differently from other children, as he must, the child would nonetheless be in the same kind of school as his siblings and peers: a cheder, learning the same curriculum, and with the same kind of kids. He could maintain his all-important self-image and feel assured he's just a normal kid who is learning in a regular cheder, albeit one with an easier program. Because there are only 8-10 kids in the class, the rebbe would be able to relate to him better, invest in him, and give him the chance to blossom.

Guidance for Parents Who Realize That Something is Wrong

Rav Heiman explains that the parents' lack of comprehension of their children's difficulties is often a catalyst that causes the child to get into trouble and forsake the family's lifestyle. "When parents discover that they have a problem child, they are overwhelmed and begin to believe that he is a bad kid and they have failed as parents. This often sets off an avalanche of anger and blame that helps nobody. The child continues to plummet, the parents go crazy, and the angry emotions only intensify. If the parents would instead consider that no one is bad and no one is at fault, but there is an objective problem that has to be dealt with, there's a better chance to solve the problem."

When a child exhibits any of several learning disabilities, it is a wake-up call to the parents that the child needs special help. (See "Does Your Child Have One of These Wake-up Signs?")

Rav Heiman says that between 3 and 15% of all children suffer from these symptoms. Of these, about half can function well enough in a regular class with help from their father, a tutor or other reinforcement, but even with them it's important that the parent be aware of their difficulties. Lacking this awareness, the parent often thinks that the child is acting badly when the real problem is that he can't cope. The other half of this group needs intensive help in a special framework to overcome their problems.

What immediate steps should be taken to alleviate the situation? Rav Heiman explains that first, the parents should be open about how they feel about their child to each other, as well as confiding in a close friend, rav or mentor.

Talking about the situation with the child helps diffuse the anger and exposes the feelings of guilt they feel. If one simply ignores one's anguish, he will eventually explode. In Rav Heiman's experience, parents are usually able to accept their child's disability and the child himself only after the kid begins to get help.

The next step is to seek help from professionals in dealing with the child's difficulties. The child may need psychological help as well as speech therapy or language therapy or occupational therapy. Without a diagnosis of what his needs are, no effective plan of action can be made.

If one catches the problem when a child is between 6 and 9, the child can be helped to overcome his problem with a special learning framework within a relatively short time. "As long as they have normal intelligence, we have found that 80% of learning disabled children can be mainstreamed once they overcome their problem," explains Rav Heiman.

He adds that in some cases, the child needs medical help. Attention deficit children, for example, need to see a neurologist and take medication. Every difficulty must be diagnosed carefully and privately, and one should only turn to experts with recommendations. Rav Heiman cautions that there are many so- called experts in the field who are not worth much.

Sometimes a parent may be so pained and angry about his child that he shouldn't study with him. He should take someone else to do it. If he insists on learning with the son when he feels so negatively about him, this will just lower the kid's esteem, block whatever achievement he is capable of, make the kid feel worse -- and make things worse for the father too because it will increase his feelings of guilt. Rav Heiman says that parents being so angry with a child is an extreme situation that happens rarely.

Support groups are often good because people who are suffering from a similar problem can exchange ideas and reinforce each other.

The above advice is basic first aid for anyone who finds himself with a problem child. After these measures, everyone needs guidance for a specific plan of action to implement for his child.

Rav Heiman says there is often a difference in how the mother and father react when they discover they have a problem son. The mother is more emotional, more compassionate, and tends to give in more to the child -- which is not always good for him. The father tends to have more expectations from the child, and he typically ignores the problems and assumes "It'll be OK." Rav Heiman has seen time and time again that it is the mother who senses that a problem exists, and after bothering the husband enough, finally gets him to act.

He emphasizes that it's important not to be afraid to talk with experts. Many parents are surprised to discover that problems can often be solved in one or two discussions by just gaining a different perspective and benefiting from the experience that a professional has from his work with other cases.

One mother said that parents get bogged down because they're frightened of what will be with their child, and what future awaits him. If they radiate their pessimism and disappointment to the child, it makes the child give up and become discouraged. She says from her personal experience that learning disabled children need to be very motivated to put forth the hard work necessary to compensate for their disabilities. If they don't have parental backing and encouragement, they may become so smashed that they end up developing emotional problems.

This mother adds, "I was so lucky that this didn't happen to us." She adds soberly that she knows kids who are today 17 and 20 who can't read and are working in a simple job. When they needed the help, there was nothing available for them, and this is how they ended up.

The Importance of Convincing a Child of his Worth

Rav Aaron Rotenberg is educational director of Tzofnas Paneach today. He has been working with learning disabled children for six years, after nine years of teaching in the mainstream chadorim of Meah Shearim, Kamenitz and Sadigura. He chose to work with special needs children after he felt the pain those children experienced in large classes of 30-35 children where they couldn't manage and were always at the bottom. "I always tried to help these kids; I believed in them and felt they could succeed."

Rav Rotenberg allowed these children to go at a slower pace in class in the regular chadorim. He made sure that children who were weak in studies but good in music received special attention for singing at Rosh Chodesh parties, but he saw that regular schools had no solution for such children because they had to keep up with a pace of studies that would satisfy most students and the parents.

Rav Rotenberg emphasizes to parents that beyond helping each child overcome his particular difficulty, there is an even more pressing goal: to convince these children that they are worthy members of our community and that they can be success stories too.

He tells the story of Ezra, a troublemaker who entered his class in a regular cheder. The custom in that cheder at the beginning of the year was for the class to return to last year's classroom for a brief pep talk before moving to the new classroom and the new teacher. After the new class had shuffled into his classroom, Rav Rotenberg walked out after three-quarters of an hour and saw a child outside. He asked him, "Which class are you in?" and the child replied, "Yours."

"So why aren't you inside?" he queried, surprised.

"The previous rebbe threw me out," the youth said sullenly.

Rav Rotenberg saw before him a child who, within a few minutes of the first day of school, had been thrown out of his class. The misery in the child's eyes propelled Rav Rotenberg to decide that he would do everything possible to help him be the best kid in the class.

He brought Ezra into the class and carefully noted everything positive he did. When he saw that Ezra put his finger on the gemora, Rav Rotenberg would stop the class and tell them, "Children! I want you all to hold your finger on the gemora just like Ezra does!" Or he would ask a question and have Ezra answer it while he was "helping" along. He would then say proudly, "I haven't got an answer like this in years!"

At first, the other kids laughed every time Rav Rotenberg pointed Ezra out as a paragon of virtue, because they knew what a troublemaker he was and how poorly he performed in class. But after about four months of this, Ezra began to believe in himself, and the other kids even began to respect him. By the end of the year, Ezra was still not the best in the class -- but he was better than average.

Rav Rotenberg emphasizes that it is important not merely to give the children the tools to learn how to deal with their difficulty. The child must be convinced that he is very important and that he will one day be a great success.

The problem that the child is up against is that society demands a certain level of performance from him, and because he has difficulty reaching it by himself, he feels society sees him as a failure. If, however, you give the child the tools to deal with the difficulty, he can perform like everyone else. Once the child has found his way to cope, he'll do the utmost to succeed. He will deal with it because he knows that only he can do it.

Why the Disability is Not the Real Issue

It cannot be emphasized enough, says Rav Rotenberg, that a learning disability that a child has is not the real problem. Far more bothersome is the social stigma he feels because of his problem. In today's chareidi society, if you can't study texts on a certain level, you have no status. And the real problem is that if you have no status, you have no self- esteem.

Rav Rotenberg notes that seventy years ago, a child who couldn't learn, dropped out of cheder early and went to work -- maybe selling in a store. It was accepted and he didn't feel bad about it, because he managed well in whatever he ended up doing, whether it was running a store or making shoes or something else.

Today, these options are not acceptable. Every kid must learn, and he must keep up with his class and his grade's curriculum. If he can't learn, he can't advance and he's automatically a failure. While being a viable system for most kids, the system crushes the weak kids and the children with difficulties. If they are not helped and given special tools, they'll be lost and will feel worthless.

Rav Rotenberg still remembers when the need to wear glasses was viewed as a disability. People, especially if their glasses had a very high number, were ashamed to wear them. Today, no one feels ashamed to wear glasses, and glasses have even become a fashion item.

Why don't people view a hearing aid in the same way? This contrast proves that it's not the disability itself which is disadvantageous, but the way society views it.

Today, society emphasizes study based on texts. What if a child has musical or artistic talent? What if he's a great businessman or organizer? Ironically, although these skills may give the child a livelihood and fame when he reaches adulthood, these qualities are basically ignored by society until the child has finished his years of study at the age of 18.

Rav Rotenberg explains that our aim has to be to equip a child with the techniques that will help him be part and parcel of society. Nonetheless, while it is important to help the child fulfill school requirements, it is far more important is to imbue him with the feeling that despite his difficulty, he's important and can accomplish something worthwhile.

The Importance of Self-Esteem

Rav Rotenberg emphasizes, "One of the main goals in our school is to broadcast to the students constantly that they are worth everything despite their slower achievements. We prepare a separate program and goals for each child, and within a short time, when he sees he's accomplishing goal after goal, he begins to feel good about himself and sees himself as a success."

He says that parents often need help in coming to grips with having a child with difficulties. Parents many times feel that they don't love the problematic child, and that they prefer their other children. "I see parents come in to the PTA meeting, and just from their body movements I know that they're expecting to hear that the kid is failing and causing trouble. They're used to hearing from other schools how many problems the kid is making, and how he's not achieving anything -- and then they go home angry and yell at their kid. I always warn my rebbes before PTA meetings not to say anything negative. Emphasize that the kid is good, that he's progressing as hoped, and that you're expecting to see progress in such-and-such an area in the future. This way, the parents feel good, the kid feels good, and the child is motivated to want to improve."

Rav Rotenberg mentions a dramatic case of this principle that happened just recently. "A child 9 1/2 years old was the best in his class last year. Suddenly he fell this year. His study level plummeted, his behavior got worse, and we couldn't figure out why. We held teachers' meetings and long discussions about it, but nothing helped to improve his situation. One day I came into class to get a close look at him. I could see he felt he had lost status and people weren't viewing him the same way as they had before. So I called him aside and told him, `Do you know you're one of the best five kids in the school?' His eyes lit up, and he said, `Really?' `Yes!' I replied. Over the next few days a tremendous change came over him. All of our talk before that was of no avail. All it needed was one well-placed compliment to pick him up."

Why are So Many Youths Leaving the Derech?

There are endless rivers of ink being spent on ideas about how to help religious youth going off the tracks. From his experience, Rav Heiman says plainly that the reason is because so few kids are being told that they are still worthy even when they do not fulfill all of society's normal demands and expectations.

He explains that society's demands are higher today than in the past, while the temptations are unfortunately greater too.

Children today have to face: 1) heavy competition between schools, 2) covering a large amount of material, 3) achieving high marks, and 4) dealing with large classes that don't permit close teacher/student relationship. The entire system is tough and generates significant stress and pressure. The pressure starts at the yeshiva gedola level and filters down to the yeshiva ketana and cheder level. ("If you don't get top marks in cheder, what yeshiva ketana will accept you?")

Only limited means are available to reduce the stress. Although most children can manage in these conditions, there are a small percentage who can't. If the child can't handle the pressure, he eventually explodes and leaves the yeshiva world.

Rav Heiman doesn't see the answer as lowering the demands of the system. He says that if the level drops across the board in the chadorim, then you'll have problems with the smarter children. In the meantime, the only thing to do is create a separate system for children who can't deal with the rigidity of the formal system.

A Tale of Two Children

Two boys were born in Jerusalem on the same day sixteen years ago. The two infants had their bris in the same hall, and Rav Eliashiv was the sandek of both. As the two grew, it was discovered that both have learning disabilities.

Here is where the similarity ends. Listen to how each child's family handled his problems and what were the results ten years later.

Eli's father was a normal baalabos. Eli's mother realized that her son was having learning difficulties when they saw, at age four, that he couldn't grasp alef beis although he was doing very well in everything else. Since there were few options to get help for a child with learning disabilities in those days, Eli's parents worked hard through the years and paid huge sums of money to find experts who could teach their child to read and overcome his language problems. Eli was eventually diagnosed as suffering from several major learning disabilities: reading problem with perseveration, visual and audial short term memory problems, and difficulty in concentrating. Eli could only write his name from a blackboard a letter at a time. His disabilities were considerable.

Many parents would feel that their fondest hopes were dashed, but not Eli's mother. "I wanted to help him," she says simply. "I felt frustrated that there was nothing for him. We even thought of moving to the United States to find a religious school for him, but there was no institution that dealt with children so young. I wasn't devastated, because I never thought of Eli as being stupid. I thought he had a problem, and that he would overcome it.

"I always saw him as a very spiritual kid. I only worried that he wouldn't make it -- not because he couldn't make it, but because there would be no place to take him. Maybe I was confident in his abilities because he was my first and I had no other child to compare him with.

"I searched desperately for someone to work with him because of his short-term memory problem. He had no idea that words were made of syllables. I sat with him every day saying words like shulchan and showing him how it was formed of different syllables. He couldn't grasp that. He could understand things only globally. We also sent him to Bernstein, the big expert in reading in Jerusalem, for 8 months.

"We sent him to reading experts and all kinds of learning specialists while sending him to a regular school. Eli didn't like school. He used to come home and say things like, `I don't understand how a rebbe could embarrass me like he did.' I was worried because teachers are role models and I could see that they didn't understand what he was going through."

When a new school opened in Jerusalem for children with learning disabilities, Eli's mother was overjoyed. "I went for it. I knew my kid needed a minute to process an answer. Tzofnas Paneach had small classes and could afford to give him that minute, which regular classes couldn't."

Eli began coming home every week with 100 on his tests. He felt great. The school was building up his self-confidence and making him feel he could succeed. That, together with a tailored program to help him overcome his learning disabilities, was Eli's recipe for success. Eli felt great, and so did his mother.

"I told everyone that Eli was in Tzofnas Paneach. I was thrilled. Because of me, five of my friends switched their kids there. I felt that the school had been created just for my sake, just when I needed it for my kid. Of course, I got some negative feedback from neighbors and acquaintances `Oh, your kid is learning there?' But I didn't care. I had to make sure my kid got what he needed. He suffered too. He was beaten up by local kids on the way home; they called him "retard."

"Just see how many kids are falling to the street today," says Eli's mother. "How can anyone say to themselves, `I can't send my kid to this school because he may get a stigma'? What will a parent tell himself when 10 years down the road, his child has fallen to the street because he didn't get the help he needed?"

Eli only began to read properly at 11 and was mainstreamed shortly thereafter. Eli's mother recounts, "When he was about 12, he told me, `Everything was hard for me, but if you try long enough it becomes easy.'" She says proudly that he's not afraid to work hard, and he's not afraid of failure. He knows that everything will go if you work at it. Today Eli reads fluently -- news, magazines, books. Eli is an accomplished reader.

By the time Eli finished cheder two years ago, he was among the best in his class. He was accepted to a top yeshiva ketana in Jerusalem. But when his parents heard there were 38 kids in his class, they pulled him out and put him into a smaller yeshiva ketana with only 25 kids. People asked Eli's parents, "Why did you take him out of such a good school? The other school is not as established and doesn't have as good a name as the first one does." Eli's parents, though, feel that many children are falling between cracks because large classes are too much for teachers and too much for kids.

Today, Eli is among the best students in his class, and the yeshiva's staff frequently phones his parents to exult what an asset he is to the yeshiva. Eli is the class masmid who studies even during time off. When he comes home for Shabbos, he asks his father to learn extra material with him. Not only is he a confident, happy, bright youth, but he has the caring, sensitive demeanor of a person who understands life's rough spots.

Eli says today that the best rebbes he ever had were in Tzofnas Paneach. "I love them. I needed private attention -- and I loved being in a place where people cared about me. A lot of the children who came were already broken. They were plucked out of their misery at the age of 8, 9 and put in a place that loved them and had experts who knew how to help them."

Eli's mother sums up their eleven-year struggle, "My Eli is still dyslexic. He told me recently, `I like numbers, they stay the same and don't change.' Letters are still difficult for him. But my son dreams of remaining in yeshiva and kollel. He hasn't come home this year with anything less than a 100 on his tests. He loves math, music, and has other interests besides learning. He radiates that he can do anything."

When a Child's Difficulties are Ignored

Eli's "twin" Zev, was born into a distinguished family, with his father and mother both from rabbinical backgrounds. The father is famous throughout Jerusalem for his shiurim, and many hundreds of avreichim listen to his lectures and consider him their mentor.

When Zev was having difficulty coping with his studies, his father ignored his problems. When the second-grade rebbe told the father that the child had a problem with reading, the father continued to ignore it. The problems didn't go away and they became worse. Zev functioned poorly in class, and was considered among the worse students. He was bumped up from grade to grade but still couldn't read. His self-esteem hit rock bottom.

After years of misery in school, Zev refused to go to cheder. He became a dropout and hung around the street. He became involved with drugs. Today, he is working as a bagger in a grocery store. His parents have spent huge sums which they could ill afford paying for extensive family therapy. Zev recently told a rav trying to help him that he is a bundle of misery, hates a Torah way of life, hates his family, and hates life itself.

Zev's learning difficulties were compounded by his parents' attitude. His father had great hopes for him, but when he saw that his child couldn't fulfill his hopes, he felt ashamed of him, began to hate him and tried to deny that he was his son. On various occasions, his father even lashed out to his son, "It's because of you that my life was destroyed! I thought I would one day be a godol beTorah, but the problems you caused me have made me fall and destroyed me. I'm sorry I had you!"

On other occasions the father vented his rage in beatings. Feeling the rejection, Zev tried to escape his misery through drugs.

Zev ended up at Rav Heiman's doorstep this year. Rav Heiman was appalled to see that his problem was a relatively mild learning deficit which could have been easily dealt with when he was young and saved him so much suffering. But because he didn't get the help when it was essential, he suffered year after year until he could stand it no longer. Today, at age 16, Zev only reads syllables slowly.

"The father came to see me in my office after I began working with Zev," says Rav Heiman. "He knew that Zev had told me intimate details of their home life and his problems and he hated me for this. This bitter man is well known to everyone. He gives shiurim in a famous yeshiva, and people literally kiss his hand. But I told him that he had destroyed his own child."

Rav Heiman had a heart-to-heart talk with the father, trying to give him insight of what Zev had gone through since his earliest years. The father's anger and blaming of the child for his behavioral problems was misplaced.

A staff member of Tzofnas Paneach explained to him, "If your child lost a leg, would you be angry with him? Wouldn't you understand his misery? When a child is seething with anger, you have to understand that he is not a bad child, but he needs help with a problem that is causing that misery."

Once Zev's father was able to see his son's behavior not as a manifestation of evil or as his fault, he began to perceive him differently and to treat him differently. Now the father and son are starting the long route to rapprochement and getting the son the help that he so desperately needed since he was a child.

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When does a child have a problem in math?

The child doesn't necessarily have a problem in math if he can't remember the multiplication table, but he does have one if he doesn't understand that 15 is more than 10 or has trouble counting to 30 after he finishes counting 27, 28, and 29.

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Does Your Child Have One of These Wake-up Signs?

If your preschool child suffers from one of the following problems, consider getting help for him:

* slow language development

* slow motor development (i.e. clumsy movements, finds it difficult to hold a pencil, difficult fine motor development)

* inverts words, invents words, leaves out endings of words or consonants

* regularly can't find the right word to express what he wants to say

* a kindergarten age child cannot tell a story from beginning to end but gets lost in the middle; if he can't say what happened to him in kindergarten

* difficulty in concentrating

* difficulty sitting in a chair for more than a few seconds

* difficulty grasping direction.

If your child in first grade or above suffers from one of the following, get help:

* leaves out or inverts letters when reading or writing

* cuts a word in the middle or connects between words when writing

* poor reading level at end of first grade

* is still reading words syllable by syllable by Chanukah of second grade.

Note: Hebrew spelling mistakes are still common in second grade.

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Are You Thinking of Moving to Israel With Your Family?

Rav Heiman says that children in Tzofnas Paneach from American and European families form a disproportionately large percentage. This is not because children from abroad have more learning disabilities, but because their parents are more open about getting help for them and -- unfortunately -- children of chutznikim are at high- risk in the tough Israeli school system.

"I'm against moving to Israel if you have a child over the age of 5," says Rav Heiman. "It's just asking for trouble. The differences between chutz la'aretz and Israel are huge. It's a new language and a totally different mentality. Americans are more soft, less pushy, and more liberal. They're looked at with some suspicion by mainstream Israelis and frequently make blunders by permitting their children to dress and act in ways that may be acceptable abroad but are unacceptable to local Israelis. We've seen again and again how chutznik parents are lost in dealing with the system.

"I'll just give a few examples of some of the many differences. Parents abroad pay hefty sums for their children's education so they see themselves as "consumers" and tend to be critical of the system. They criticize the teachers and administration expecting to be listened to carefully ("the client is always right") but instead, here they find themselves attacked back by the teachers they criticize and they don't understand why. It took a long time before the rebbes in my school learned that I was going to speak out about everything I see that needs fixing up, and they learned to listen -- but my school is admittedly unusual.

"Another difference is that chutznikim expect teachers to phone them when things are not going well with their children. Israelis know that if you want to know what's going on with your child, you'd better run after the teacher."

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To Help Your Children, Remember These Guiding Principles:

1. There is hope for every child.

2. Although the situation seems impossible, the solution may actually be very easy.

3. No child is lost to Jewish life because he has a difficulty.

4. The fear of stigma is false and baseless.

5. Parents and educators have the ability to direct their children and save them.

6. It is unproductive to blame oneself for the child's difficulties and it is often ungrounded.

7. A parent should take his feeling of misery and guilt and turn it into a program of action.

8. There are no problems, only difficulties which can be surmounted.

9. Never hesitate to approach people who can diagnose and treat a child's difficulties.

10. Love your child without limits and without conditions

11. Pray to the One Who ultimately is the only One who can really help. Don't be deluded into thinking that you can rely on yourself or experts.

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Tzofnas Paneach

When Rav Heiman opened Tzofnas Paneach in 1993 with 7 children in the student body and 8 people on the staff, many told him it would fail. He heard over and over that people would be ashamed to send their child to such a school and it's just a waste of time. Even the rosh yeshiva whom Rav Heiman considers as his mentor tried to discourage him.

But starting from 7 children in two classes at the beginning of Elul, the student body became three classes by Sukkos. By the end of the first year, Tzofnas Paneach had 70 children learning in five classes. Rav Heiman had filled a desperate need that no one would admit to and for which people were secretly begging for help. Parents were desperate to help their miserable children who were suffering from maladjustment and failure in their studies and the resultant low self-esteem. By the end of Tzofnas Paneach's second year, the school had 150 children.

Today, seven years later, the school has adopted a policy of having at most 100 children so each child can receive the special help he needs. The spirit among the 31 staff members and the children is one "family." The rebbe and professional staff are all acquainted with the children, and the children feel wanted, and have someone to turn to. In addition, the school is often the address for other schools and parents who need help with specific children learning in normal frameworks.

Rav Heiman and Rav Rotenberg say with pride that not one of Tzofnas Paneach's graduates have ended up on the street. The reason is because before each child left the school, he had it drummed into him that he was a success. A child who feels he has his place in society has no need to run away from that society. The following stories that happened in Tzofnas Paneach show how these youths see themselves:

Josh moved to Israel when he was 9 and he found reading and speaking Hebrew a big challenge. He went through seven different chadorim the first year he lived in Israel. Two months after he entered each school, his father was asked to take him out because he sat like a stone in class and wasn't learning a thing. He finally came to Tzofnas Paneach and was diagnosed as suffering from poor visual focus: when he tried to focus, everything scattered before his eyes. After studying three years in the cheder, he graduated and was accepted to an excellent yeshiva ketana. At the age of 13, Josh made a siyum on all seder Moed, and soon he will be making a siyum on all of Shas -- at age 17. His rosh yeshiva recently told Rav Heiman that if he had a daughter at the right age, he would take Josh for a son-in-law.

Mutti is a 16 year old learning in a yeshiva ketana. Rav Heiman asked him, "Do you tell your friends in which cheder you learned?"

He replied, "I'm not embarrassed to say I learned here. When I came to you, I couldn't learn a page of gemora. Then on my first test on difficult words in the gemora I got a 100! It's because of you that I'm where I am today. I decided that I'll tell my friends where I learned after I prove to them what a good student I am." When he came to Tzofnas Paneach, Mutti said: "I'll never learn gemora."

Ofer was from a difficult home. The father wasn't able to educate him, and the family was more modern than the neighborhood they were living in, so Ofer wasn't accepted by boys in his area. Although he came to Tzofnas Paneach with a barrage of emotional problems, Ofer progressed well in the school. After he finished cheder, he tried out a yeshiva ketana, and found it too hard to sit and learn. So he began to work for a music band handling the amplifier system. Today Ofer handles amplifier systems at events for a parnossa. He attends shiurim 1-2 hours a day, davens three times a day, visits his former rebbes in the cheder often, is a fine member of the religious community and has unqualified yiras Shomayim. Ofer is a content religious Jew who has found his place in the religious community.

Rav Heiman says, "Our oldest graduates are today 18-19. Most are not real Torah scholars, but they're not falling. They are worthy members of the Torah world. They're confident in their place in the world and they're happy with their lives. None of our kids end up on the street. They don't feel that they have to leave Judaism to feel good about themselves."