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2 Tammuz 5760 - July 5, 2000 | Mordecai Plaut, director Published Weekly
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Opinion & Comment
How Baalei Teshuvah Can Contribute to the Chareidi World

by HaRav Yehuda Greenwald

Question: What should be the attitude of baalei teshuvah who have entered the chareidi world towards avreichim (kollel students and bnei Torah)? Do baalei teshuvah have their own duty in the chareidi world?

Answer: In my first year studying in the Mirrer Yeshiva in Yerushalayim I studied with an old-time baal teshuvah. One day we had difficulty understanding the gemora and asked an avreich sitting next to us for help. That avreich, who at the time was studying another maseches altogether, looked briefly at the complex section, and not only did he explain to us the entire give-and-take but his explanation clearly showed an astounding proficiency in the comments of the rishonim and acharonim on the sugya. He could do this although many years had passed since he actually studied that sugya. We were thoroughly impressed by his expertise. During the zman we asked him about other intricate subjects and he answered us, generally, with clear and correct answers.

During this period we became acquainted with each other. One day we walked home and spoke about hashkofo and the ways of avodas Hashem. He told me simple and basic matters that every child knows. I wanted to tell him that I was not a child studying in cheder but instead decided to remain silent. I knew he was doing this innocently since he was under the impression that my knowledge of the subject was on a par with my meager knowledge of halocho.

Afterward I requested that he be my chavrusa in hilchos Shabbos and he willingly agreed. The joint study brought us nearer and we became closely acquainted. After a number of months he began to teach a shiur in halocho for a few baalei teshuvah and in this way he got to know some more baalei teshuvah.

One day I heard him speaking to some avreichim in the Mirrer Yeshiva about baalei teshuvah. He spoke excitedly about their devotion, their readiness to sacrifice for Torah and to study no matter what, and their other remarkable qualities. I was delighted. I then understood that just as I used to go home and tell my wife with admiration about my meeting an avreich truly engrossed in Torah, he used to go home and tell his wife with admiration about the world of baalei teshuvah. In this way a good relationship of mutual respect between him and baalei teshuvah was formed.

This repeated itself when we tried to organize chavrusas between baalei teshuvah and outstanding avreichim of the Mirrer Yeshiva. In the beginning the avreichim were afraid of how it would go, but afterwards when we asked them what they thought about baalei teshuvah they commented that they were surprised and had genuine respect for them.

The truth is that every intelligent avreich who was ever closely acquainted with a baal teshuvah, someone not embarrassed by being a baal teshuvah and who does not try to copy others, will find to his surprise that the baal teshuvah is a gold mine of good qualities and possesses spectacular tools for avodas Hashem. The big surprise is that those baalei teshuvah who do not hide their lack of knowledge and their confusion, and dare to ask all the questions that bother them and even "demand" help from avreichim in their Torah studies, are immeasurably respected.

After building up this relationship, a new, mutual relationship begins, with each side contributing its part and strengthening the other.

You ask what baalei teshuvah can contribute to the chareidi world?

Baalei teshuvah bring valuable assets with them to the chareidi world, which is a blessing in itself. We do not need to do fantastic things. Strengthening ourselves in avodas Hashem, in studying Torah, in tefillah and fulfilling mitzvos, if we do it with absolute seriousness and genuine enthusiasm without any compromises, will make a dynamic impression on the public and strengthen Klal Yisroel.

A devoted and eminent rav, one of those who work with baalei teshuvah, said that he attends the seminars and deals with baalei teshuvah in order to strengthen himself.

The gemora (Sotah 13a) tells about the episode of Yaakov's burial in Eretz Yisroel. When the children of Yaakov Ovinu arrived with his coffin at Me'oras Hamachpela, Esav delayed the burial, because he claimed that he had not sold Me'oras Hamachpela to Yaakov Ovinu. Naftoli was dispatched to Egypt to bring the deed of sale. "Chushim, the son of Dan, who was hard of hearing, was also there. He asked bnei Yisroel why they were not burying Yaakov Ovinu. They answered that they were waiting until Naftoli returned from Egypt. He said to them: `Until Naftoli returns from Egypt my grandfather will be disgraced?' He took a stick and hit Esav on the head and killed him."

HaRav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt'l asks: Why did no other of Yaakov's children ask what Chushim asked, "Until Naftoli returns from Egypt my grandfather will be disgraced?" Why did the Shevotim allow Yaakov Ovinu to be left in such shame? The answer is that "they were in the midst of arguing with Esav and with every argument they thought they would win. Meanwhile, although Yaakov lay in disgrace, they became accustomed to this condition. Man's nature is that he gets accustomed to the worst possible conditions. Chushim the son of Dan was hard of hearing and unaware of the argument being waged between them and Esav. He suddenly saw the distressful condition of `my grandfather being disgraced.' His reaction was `taking a stick and hitting Esav on the head and killing him.' Chushim, who suddenly saw what was happening, could not endure it and ended the matter without delay" (Sichos Mussar, 5731, 106).

This is one of the significant duties of baalei teshuvah. As people say, "A guest sees all one's faults." We have come to a new world and find out that not all that people do or are accustomed to do befits a person who observes Torah and mitzvos. Since we are new to the chareidi world we cannot tolerate such impropriety and complain about it. This vital duty of being a Chushim ben Dan is ours.

The Torah values criticism, and a parsha in the Torah tells us about Yisro's criticism. Moshe's father-in-law met Klal Yisroel in the desert. We were a nation for whom miracles were performed and who had received the Torah, a generation of spiritual giants, the Generation of the Desert, the Generation of Knowledge.

Yisro inspects the camps of Yisroel and sees his son-in-law Moshe judging the nation, as is written: "And it came to pass on the morrow, that Moshe sat to judge the people, and the people stood over Moshe from the morning to the evening" (Shemos 18:13). Rashi explains: "He was sitting like a king while everyone was standing. Moshe's degradation of the honor of Yisroel disturbed Yisro and he rebuked him about this, as is written, `Why do you sit alone and all the people stand over you from morning to evening?' (V. 14)."

HaRav Yeruchom Lebowitz, the mashgiach of the Mirrer Yeshiva, writes: "Yisro's greatness was in the enormity of his power of criticism. He was a ger, who just now came to Klal Yisroel, and he was already criticizing and rebuking the nation's spiritual leader. . .. The strength of this criticism was his virtue . . .. of having criticized all the avoda zorah of the world and thereafter coming to take refuge under the Shechina's wings. With this power he also criticized Moshe, although Moshe had reasons for doing what he did . . . Yisro, who had this enormous power, saw more truly and understood as Hashem did, that it was preferable to appoint dayanim" (Daas Torah, Shemos, pg. 181). This is the power of many baalei teshuvah too.

From Yisro we can learn what true criticism is. It is not exposing someone's shame and does not result from feelings of inferiority and a desire to show that "they" are not so good either. It derives from genuine love and concern for others. "The foundation is `You shall certainly rebuke your neighbor' (Vayikra 19:17) and `You shall love your neighbor like yourself' (ibid., 19:18), since without love for the other it is mockery instead of rebuke" (Daas Torah, Shemos, pg. 173).

Yisro made a brocho when he heard that Yisroel were saved, as is written: "Yisroel said, `Boruch Hashem, Who has delivered you out of the hand of Egypt and out of the hand of Pharaoh, Who has delivered the people from under the hand of Egypt.'" (Shemos 18:10) He rebuked them lovingly. "After such love, after making a brocho on Yisroel's being saved, he could rebuke others. He was the man who could truly rebuke them. Yisro was concerned with their good and felt forced to tell them what he thought was for their good. He could not bear seeing their suffering without rebuking Moshe. How could he not tell them the truth?" (ibid., 173-174)

Naturally, when someone's criticism stems from love, the criticism is made with proper thoughtfulness and care, after considering how to say it, to whom and when. A person who hears such rebuke will surely accept it.

As mentioned before, baalei teshuvah can fill this important task of constructive criticism, which gushes from a desire to help Klal Yisroel, and help mend shortcomings that have struck roots.

In the neighborhood where I live was a place near a shul which was set aside as a genizah. This place was small and filled to the brim. Despite its being full, people continued to bring sheimos that needed to be put in genizah and instead placed them in sacks near the shul. Children began playing with the sacks and burrowed within them. The sheimos scattered all over.

On erev Shabbos when people came to the shul the whole area was covered with dapim of gemora, newspapers containing divrei Torah, and other items needing to be in genizah. People walked into the shul and stepped over the divrei kedusha.

One baal teshuvah who saw what was happening was surprised to see such indifference and disinterest in sheimos that were scattered in disgrace, but he remained silent. After Shabbos the dapim remained spread all over without anyone picking them up. This baal teshuvah started thinking how improper it was that those avreichim were overlooking this disgraceful condition. He did not want to pick up the sheimos by himself nor could he in any case do it alone.

Another week passed without anything being done about the matter. Our baal teshuvah could not endure this any longer and asked the gabboim and the avreichim why they were not taking care of the matter. They answered that technical reasons were preventing them, but that did not satisfy him. He continued "pestering" the avreichim about this and finally even asked the neighborhood's rav what could be done.

Eventually the avreichim woke up and realized what had happened and began attending to it. The scattered dapim were quickly gathered up. The weekly bulletin distributed on erev Shabbos reprimanded the tzibbur about the disgrace of the sheimos, and during the week notices were put up throughout the neighborhood asking people to stop bringing new sheimos until a suitable solution was found. (There was a problem of where to bring the sheimos.) Eventually a number of avreichim got together and collected money to buy a large container for genizah. The container was bought and the problem was solved.

Another asset of baalei teshuvah is their sensitivity to any secular or non-Jewish influence that has penetrated to the chareidi world. Often baalei teshuvah meet chareidim enjoying "chareidi" tapes of secular pop music. This disturbs them terribly, and they are amazed how this unruly music has become part of the world of people who observe Torah and mitzvos.

One day a baal teshuvah walking down a chareidi street suddenly heard a song from a "chareidi" tape that shocked him. The words were, it seems, from a tefillah, but the tune came from a barbaric German song that had won first prize in the Eurovision Contest of popular music. He could not control himself; he went over to the listener and said to him, "I want you do know what you are hearing. This is a non- Jewish melody written by a rock band composed of German savages." And he went away.

The same is true with other improper influences. We can certainly warn against them and explain about non-Jewish influences to Torah-observant people who are interested in listening and strengthening themselves. Of course, this rebuke must be done wisely and with love and concern for others.

Besides rebuke and telling mussar more examples of blessed initiations of baalei teshuvah needed in our times are available.

More than three years ago, on chol hamoed Sukkos, the mashgiach of Yeshivas Kfar Chassidim was a guest in our neighborhood. A baal teshuvah who knew him and heard his plan to stay in our neighborhood during chol hamoed asked an avreich why no one was asking the rav to say a shmuess. The avreich answered: "On the contrary, go and arrange it yourself." He added that the baal teshuvah should first try to find out whether people are interested in hearing the shmuess. The baal teshuvah went over to various avreichim and received evasive answers, together with suggestions about how to arrange the shmuess in a more efficient manner, along with a wealth of imaginary doubts, until it seemed to him that there would be no hope of the shmuess ever taking place if he went on speaking with the avreichim. He rejected all the suggestions of how to set up the shmuess more efficiently and went over to the rav himself and asked him to say a shmuess. The rav agreed.

Afterward our friend started having weighty doubts that perhaps people would not come to hear the shmuess and began regretting that he had not done as the avreichim had told him. But he immediately came to his senses and girded up his loins, printed announcements about the shmuess taking place, and hung them throughout the neighborhood and those nearby. He prayed that nothing bad would happen.

On the night of Hoshanna Rabbah the shmuess took place in the shul, which was packed. After the shmuess some avreichim approached him and thanked him, saying yeyaeshar koach. They told him that they were impressed by his initiative and the efficient arrangement of the shmuess. In the coming years the shmuess on Hoshanna Rabbah night became a permanent feature in the neighborhood.

I heard a wonderful story about an old-time baal teshuvah who thought that a kollel should be set up whose members would study at a quicker pace than is normal in the yeshivos and kollelim. He asked HaRav Shach shlita whether he agreed to the suggestion, and told him the name of the man he intended to ask to head the kollel: an eminent talmid chochom zt'l. Afterwards he approached the talmid chochom with his suggestion and added that HaRav Shach had agreed. The talmid chochom thought it over and said that he already gave shiurim the whole day, so his schedule was already full.

But the baal teshuvah did not take "no" for an answer. He begged the man's pardon, and then told them that before he had done teshuvah his whole life was also perfectly set up, but nevertheless . . .. The next day the talmid chochom called him up and said that because of his rebuke he had not slept the whole night. He accepted the offer.

We have cited some minor anecdotes where the criticism and initiation of baalei teshuvah were a blessing. The truth is that we encounter daily small incidents in which we, the Chushim ben Dan, who are not used to certain conditions and ways of behavior, jump like someone bitten by a snake, while others who have become accustomed do not see anything seriously wrong. This is our opportunity to be helpful to Klal Yisroel.

Without much fanfare, modestly, without verbal violence or show of force, we should point out what should not be done, and we should repair breaches in Yiddishkeit, initiate projects, shiurim or shmuessim, and utilize the freshness and vitality that characterize baalei teshuvah, so we can add to and benefit Klal Yisroel.


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