Dei'ah veDibur - Information & Insight
  

A Window into the Chareidi World

11 Tishrei 5767 - October 3, 2006 | Mordecai Plaut, director Published Weekly
NEWS

OPINION
& COMMENT

OBSERVATIONS

HOME
& FAMILY

IN-DEPTH
FEATURES

VAAD HORABBONIM HAOLAMI LEINYONEI GIYUR

TOPICS IN THE NEWS

POPULAR EDITORIALS

HOMEPAGE

 

Produced and housed by
Shema Yisrael Torah Network
Shema Yisrael Torah Network

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Home and Family

A Handy Handicap
by Susan Schwartz, Chicago

"Everyone is staring at me," my daughter wailed.

While it is hard to give comfort over the phone when you are 5,000 miles away, I did my best to sound like "Mother Knows Best." On her own for the first time, our daughter seemed to be adapting well to the seminary experience. She had made friends with her roommates, was experiencing the thrills of walking in Yerushalayim each day, and even found some of her classes to be mildy interesting. (A great comfort to her parents who were spending so much money for the experience.)

One week into this idyllic life (what can be bad when your parents are sending you money?), the school took their first trip. A laughing Huvi called to tell me she had fallen down a rocky hillside while climbing, and klutz-ily, probably sprained her ankle. Joining in her laughter (after all, she inherited the 'klutz gene' from me), I reminded her to ice the ankle and take a painkiller when she returned to the dorm.

The laughter turned to tears when she called a few hours later from the emergency room to tell me the ankle was actually broken, that she was in a cast up to her knee, and that she could put no weight on it for six weeks. Surprised at the severity of the injury, I tried to calm her worries, and called friends and family in Israel to try and be available to comfort her, and help her out.

Her roommates helped with her laundry, and carrying her books to class. Friends invited her for yomim tovim, and helped her to get a wheelchair, and now in the midst of Succos, she was calling me to cry about how much she hated being a public spectacle.

I certainly could not deny the physical discomfort she was going through, nor did a pat answer like, "Don't worry it is just a few more weeks," seem like the right thing to say under the circumstances, when suddenly a flash of inspiration hit me.

"Huvi," I said, "look what Hashem has done for you. You wanted to work with handicapped and sick children, and now you have been given an opportunity to really feel what they go through. You feel like everyone stares at you in your wheelchair; you hate having to impose your needs on your friends to help you get up and down the stairs and accomplish the everyday tasks you took for granted. You have pain in your arms and hands from supporting yourself on crutches. But all this will go away, while the memories of these feelings will never go away, and will be there for you to call on when you work with these kids.

"Now you know the nisyonos that they have to go through each day. This is your temporary nisoyon. This is really a positive experience if you just try and see it that way."

If this were a soap opera, that would be the end of the episode. A tearful "Kitten" would smile at her father, recognizing these great words of wisdom. Real life isn't always like a fictional program. Huvi did not seem terribly reconciled by my words.

I tried again, this time using humor. "Put a cup on your lap and call out 'tzedokoh' — I bet you will actually collect some money for charity if everyone is really staring at you as you say." This at least elicited some laughter.

For the next few weeks, our phone bills continued to climb as Huvi called to cry, and sometimes to laugh at her various experiences as a temporarily handicapped person. Finally the day arrived — the x-rays were read, and the cast came off. Returning to walk did not come easily, and she still needed crutches and physical therapy to regain her mobility.

Some day, Huvi will work with handicapped children. In spite of what she may think now, I know she will look back at this experience as one that helped to increase her natural empathy, and that she passed her 'test' with flying colors.

 

All material on this site is copyrighted and its use is restricted.
Click here for conditions of use.