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26 Cheshvan 5765 - November 10, 2004 | Mordecai Plaut, director Published Weekly
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Home and Family

The task isn't to solve the problem. The problem is the solution.

One person's philosophy...


In the Arena
by Rosally Saltsman

I think I finally understand how life works. Okay, so it's taken me the better part of half a century, but I think I've got it now. So here it is:

WE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO FIX OUR MAJOR PROBLEMS. Now please bear with me.

Everyone of us has a theme problem. One that has plagued us for a long time, if not the better part of our lives. With some, it's a medical problem, for others, an emotional problem. Others, like me, have a financial problem. Some people have difficult marriages, others can't find their bashert. Some have difficult parents / difficult children. Some are fighting the battle of the bulge; others battle with their neighbors. And so on.

And here's the scoop: we're not meant to win. Our particular battlefield is the arena in which we do our spiritual tikkun; it is where we hone ourselves. It is the means, not the end.

Allow me to illustrate. Over the last fourteen years, I have had a lot of financial ups and downs. I sold some land that had been in the family for decades and used the money to be a stay-at-home Mom. I've won a million dollars in a court case, only to lose it again in an appeal. I inherited money, then had a car accident and a fire.

I won a raffle, then lost a job. I've made good investments and bad investments; borrowed money, paid it back, only to have to borrow again.

See a pattern? I never sink, boruch Hashem, but I never swim far. I'm always treading water. And then it hit me. My tikkun isn't to pay off my debts; it is to use my debts as a tool to do my true spiritual tikkun.

With all my financial angst, I have had to become more adept at patience and self control; self respect and respect of others; compassion and humility; gratitude and resourcefulness; initiative and emuna; bitachon and friendship, recognizing Divine Providence and lots and lots of prayer.

That's a lot of spiritual potential and work in one little area of life. And we've each been given one or more areas in which to do this work. (Yet we are always given some areas which are easy, to balance out the harder parts and from which we can gain our strength.)

Most of us use our trial and tribulations to help others in similar difficult circumstances — support groups and advice columns are but two examples. If we take a look at all the possibilities, we'll see it clear as a neon sign. The work isn't to solve the problem. The problem is the solution.

Each step we take in coping brings us closer to our spiritual goals, though perhaps not our material or physical ones. We may never get there. It's all part of the plan. It's not the destination, it's the journey that's important. I've heard this before, but now, as I'm learning to swim, it's beginning to sink in.

Now please don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting that we shouldn't make every effort to overcome our problems. And this isn't to say that we may never get out of them. After all, Hashem's salvation comes in the blink of an eye. What I am saying is that we need to shift our focus from ridding ourselves of whatever troubles us, to dealing with it in a spiritual way. That's our work. Solving life's dilemmas is in the hands of Hashem.

I feel a great sense of freedom at this discovery. Not that it frees me from my obligations to the people to whom I owe money. (Not to worry, all you kind, generous people. I have no intention of absconding. Where can I go? I owe money to people on every continent.) But realizing that this is my secondary aim, not my primary one, gives me a sense of peace. Our spiritual path is located right in the heart of the arena where we are Hashem's gladiators.

As we start a new year and run down the list of the same New Year's resolutions for the umpteenth time, we can take heart in looking at the list from a different angle. Not with the aim of achievement but the objective of refinement.

Our goal is not necessarily to accomplish; it is to persevere towards our goal, which in and of itself will provide the field in which we can flourish, the fertile soil for our self- perfection, the ground in which we can take root and grow and flower and bear the fruits of our toil and struggle.

May we all have a fruitful and productive year!

 

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