Dei'ah veDibur - Information & Insight

A Window into the Chareidi World

20 Tammuz 5765 - July 27, 2005 | Mordecai Plaut, director Published Weekly










Produced and housed by
Shema Yisrael Torah Network
Shema Yisrael Torah Network











15 Tammuz, the Day After

by Mrs. S. Weinbach

We are still trembling with shock after hearing of the death of a true ben aliya, Eliyohu Rotman, 17-year-old son of our dear writer, Risa Rotman, who died on a bike sortie bein hasedorim. We wish to share our feelings with the readers, and pray . . .


Dear, dear, dear Risa,

I have come this morning to comfort, to console, knowing that it is an impossible task — at this point. It is still so raw, so aching, so terrible to contemplate. I know that coming to you, I will be unable to speak. I will start to cry, so with tears in my eyes and in my heart right now, I will say what I can, something for you to grasp on to, something you can hold.

Risa — you are our Hashgochoh Protis lady par excellence! Isn't that how I got to know you first, with your beautiful true story (parshas Vayechi) debut of how to look at life and see Hashem's finger, His hand, His blueprint in all the events of our lives!

When I first heard, I couldn't believe it. You, of all people, who had taken the trouble two weeks ago [parshas Korach] to warn people about riding bikes and safety and watching out for their children! And then, I said, "But of course. That's exactly how it had to be. Hashem plucked this beautiful flower from its earthly roots, from a hothouse of love, care, striving and so much more. But He did it with finesse, as it were, with a heading, an introduction in bold lettering, and you are the one who provided the highlights."

It must have struck you this way, too. Not only was Eli chosen, hand-picked, but so were you.

So what are you going to do about it? How are you going to absorb this difficult lesson?

Let me tell you how it looks, fifteen years in the future.

The ache is there, every day I think, but it has been dulled by time, only to be rubbed raw every once in a while, like for me, yesterday. But I have gained. I have gained insights into prayer, as you will. I have gained a very strong bond with Hashem and know that He is there, at my side, watching me, guiding me, providing all kinds of opportunities to live my life for my lost son, as well.

I think you will find huge reserves of strength and faith to live a deeper life, to see every single day as a treasure to be filled with content. You will make time count much more and many things will seem trivial in contrast. And this is for the best.

Why do they say 20-20 vision? You will have 1-on-1 vision! You will see things so much more clearly, like a person who saw black and white all his life and was suddenly given a prism of beautiful colors whose names he didn't even know. You will see ultraviolet in your new world, and infrared, and with your beautiful talent and your new knowing heart, you will be able to help others see, too.

You will surely spread yourself out and use all of your talents, will shower that much more love upon your children and your surroundings with a new intensity and fervor. You may decide, eventually (not yet), to focus on one special project or endeavor. But for sure, you will see special opportunities come your way, and you will take them by the hand and welcome them, for you will be able to fill your days to the brim.

You will be constantly thinking and feeling and doing and living on a different plane, suspended a bit off the ground, sometimes higher than usual, and there will be an exquisite bliss, every once in a while, knowing that you have made Hashem happy in this way or that, and given more power to your dear son who can no longer carry on for Him here.

Fifteen years later, I am sure you will understand that if it happened that way, it was for the best, and you will accept it on a different level. Every day. You will be getting closer to Him — and to him.

May your tears, and mine, and all of Klal Yisroel's tears be gathered in Hashem's reservoir and soften those difficult times for us down here who don't understand . . .


All material on this site is copyrighted and its use is restricted.
Click here for conditions of use.