Some time back, a good friend mentioned that a different
friend was looking into a new diet and fitness program
designed for frum women. Apparently this friend was
annoyed to see that she had gained back the weight that she
had worked hard to lose on a previous diet plan.
I made my comment that I make whenever these issues come up,
"That's women and dieting. It's a lifestyle. You can never
let it go." Not that I'm the prime example of proper eating
and exercise.
"Well I don't think it's fair," retorted my good friend, a
steady dieter and conscientious walker who still struggles
to keep the needle at the right place on the scale.
"I know, I know," I said knowingly. "For a number of weeks a
woman can be careful and takes off those unwanted kilos and
then one night in a moment of lack of control, she eats a
rugelah and she has to start all over again." I was thinking
of my own recent experiences with this issue.
"Well I just think it's not fair," my friend repeated. "A
person should lose the weight and then be able to eat what
they want."
"Tell me when your complaint reaches the complaint
department," I answered dryly.
It was an hour or two later when I overheard a passing
comment about Chodesh Elul, that I really began to think.
Elul. I don't want to sound self-righteous or like I'm
trying to imitate true gedolim, but when I hear Elul
is coming in these last months of the year, I really start
to get nervous.
Elul. Rosh Hashono. Help! But do I do anything to change?
That is when I realized that there is an Elul diet.
Throughout the year we transgress and create aveiros.
We might speak a little loshon horoh, forget a
brochoah acharonoh here or there, or even act
incorrectly with money matters. Then Elul comes and we clean
up our act. We regret all those sins and we're very careful.
Comes Rosh Hashono and the Aseros Yemai Tshuvah and
we're super careful. The shofar blows after Yom
Kippur and we promise ourselves, "This year will be
different. No hurtful language, no sloppy davening . .
." etc.
But of course it doesn't quite go that way. Months go by and
slowly, slowly all the bad habits start to seep in. A moment
when the temper is lost, another when something was said
that shouldn't have been and nu? We're back to square one.
All those unwanted aveiros hanging on to us quite
comfortably.
So what's the antidote, I question myself. That's when I
realized that there is a diet/tshuvah moshol. We're so
very careful watching our weight, for months even. And then
boom, all the bad eating habits slowly return and the
kilos/pounds collect. So how do we fight the battle?
I considered modern methods of weight loss. As everyone
knows there are a plethora of diets today, each touting
itself as THE cure for removing unwanted weight. Could they
be somewhat similar to the yetzer horah telling us,
"Oh if you only drink this special low-fat shake, you'll
never holler at the kids again." I don't mean to belittle
any method that has really shown itself effective for
anyone, but some of these diet ideas seem a little too easy.
Diet counselors and diet groups are very popular choices
today. Hmm, we do have mussar and chinuch groups that
help us modify our middos or our parenting skills.
Both the ruchnius groups of working on middos
and the gashmius groups on controlling weight loss
have been very helpful for many people. Diet counselors can
be very necessary for people with serious weight issues that
must be kept in check. This seems a bit tricky in the
tshuvah moshol. It sort of sounds like a different
religion if you have to confess to the brownie you ate on
Monday night.
In weight loss there is a companion to dieting. There is
also exercising. On a ruchnius level maybe we can say
that chesed could be considered a form of exercise
(especially for the heart). At least a person doing
chesed will hopefully be too busy to acquire any bad
deeds. Tefilla, Tehillim, and tzedakah are
better than any diet supplement.
We know that Sukkos falls hard on the heels of Yom Kippur
and keeps us too busy to do anything wrong. Too bad we don't
have special holiday activities all year long to keep us
always on the spiritual go. But would that really be a life?
Don't we need some normal time? And aren't there enough
things to keep ourselves busy? Every month there is Yom
Kippur Koton and Rosh Chodesh. Almost all the months do have
some special holidays and minor holidays. We also have our
own special days, a simcha (if not our own then a
relative's, neghbor's or friend's). Can't we just be busy
enough not to get caught doing something we shouldn't?
Maybe, maybe not.
I know I'm rambling. So I'll just state the obvious. No,
there is no quickie Elul diet where we can shed the bad
deeds of the year, stay static for a few months throughout
the Yomim Tovim and then return to all the inappropriate
life-habits. We have to be equally vigilant throughout the
year. Kislev, Iyar, Tammuz, it should make no difference. We
have to be as careful with our neshomoh diet as we are
in Elul. And then maybe when Elul comes around, with Rosh
Hashono following fast, we won't have to "crash diet."
May we all merit to come into Rosh Hashono with a clean
slate.
