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18 Sivan 5763 - June 18, 2003 | Mordecai Plaut, director Published Weekly
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Candle of the Soul
by Rosally Saltsman

Two weeks in a row, one of my Shabbos candles went out after it was lit.

The first week, I figured it was a fluke, but twice in a row? Something was wrong. I began soul searching. What have I done wrong? What is Hashem trying to tell me?

"Ask the Rov what the reason could be for my Shabbos candles going out," I told my son.

"It's the wind," he answered casually.

"What do you mean, it's the wind? I always have the window open when I light candles, and they never go out."

"Yes, but not on the same side."

Now that I thought about it, the kid was right. I always had the window open on the right side of the living room. Since it had gotten hot and the sun was coming in directly on the aquarium, I had closed the window on that side and began to open it on the left side. Although both sides were equidistant from the candles, the aquarium was perhaps serving as a windbreaker. Before convening a beis din to pass judgment on me, I tried to change windows the following week. The candles stayed lit until they burned out.

Introspection is a good thing. The Talmud encourages us to search our deeds and our thoughts every day to make sure that our actions are pure and pleasing before Hashem and our fellow man. When anything goes wrong, from something trivial and mundane to, G-d forbid, something major, we're supposed to look inward and speculate as to the cause.

On the other hand, sometimes the answer is of more obvious and practical nature and doesn't necessitate searching the recesses of our souls. If we have a terrible headache on a sweltering day, perhaps we don't have to purify our thoughts - - we just desperately need a drink of water. If we cut ourselves, it may be Divine retribution, commonly referred to as kapora, but it may be altogether our fault and we may just need to be more careful. And if our Shabbos candles go out, we may just have to close one window and open another one.

Life is a balancing act. Keeping our physical needs in equilibrium with our spiritual aspirations and obligations is often extremely difficult. As much as we like to climb to spiritual heights, we are still subject to the laws of gravity.

For women especially, our preparations for the holy day of Shabbos involve shopping, cooking, cleaning, setting up and preparing. All activities which belong in the physical realm. Even our enjoyment of Shabbos is to a great extent physical: eating, sleeping, singing and talking.

If we don't deny our reliance on Hashem's physical laws and use all of our physical resources to serve our spiritual aims, we will not fall victim to the thoughts that we are above the physical laws of nature. Nature -- teva -- and Elokim -- are both numerically equal to 86.

If we serve Hashem by observing both the natural, physical laws of His universe as well as His spiritual laws, we stand a better chance of realizing our goals, and with His help, our candles will never dim.

 

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