Hashem created a world full of wonders. When we say the
blessing every morning, "Pokeiach ivrim", thanking Him
for giving sight to the blind, we have an opportune moment to
pause and remember to appreciate our ability to see the
beauty around us. A simple daily exercise of noticing
something new, in all its complex detail, can enhance our
whole day. Helping ourselves and our children to increase our
awareness of the natural phenomena that we usually overlook
can fortify our joy in life.
A grumpy, whining child, depending on the age (the following
even works with teenagers if you do it right) can easily be
distracted by an enthusiastic exclamation from an excited
mother who shouts out, "Hey! Did you see that?" Then you can
all spin around to concentrate on the interesting diversion
of a small spider, shiny beetle or earwig scurrying across
the floor, heading for the nearest corner to hide in. This
technique is (almost) guaranteed to change the focus and
frustrated energy that has built up in a room full of
whining, grumpy children.
This is, of course, not recommended for the squeamish types.
You have to really look closely and notice how marvelously an
insect is made. Screaming, "Squish it!" won't do at all when
trying to build an atmosphere of wonderment. Snails and
earthworms, since they move so slowly, are also perfect
subjects for children to stop and observe. For this you must
venture outside to a garden or park.
Once you have left the house, looking up and pointing out
different variations of cloud formations is one of the oldest
of pleasant pastimes. While you are gazing at the sky, there
are several species of feathered fowl that fly around for you
to spot, each with its own unique flying patterns. The more
your children see and specify differences, the greater is the
enjoyment of this 'life-appreciation' game. Falcons, a type
of hawk, tend to hover high above the hills, gliding
gracefully, unlike the pigeons and doves who seem to
constantly flap energetically to keep themselves afloat.
Small sparrows plunge from rooftops to eat breadcrumbs on the
sidewalks, and tiny sunbirds, iridescent green and black,
hover near bright blossoms on wings of blur. Springtime is
also an occasion for enthusing at the sight of the fragrant
budding pink peach and white almond blooms, fresh green
leaves, swollen buds.
After your outing, back home, don't miss the opportunities
that occur to be amazed at how quickly a `boo-boo' heals up,
the skin slowly forming new bonds between the edges of a cut,
until hopefully within one week, there is left only a reddish
remnant of a wound, fresh new skin, soft as a baby's.
Children benefit greatly from these little acknowledgements
that Hashem created them in the most wondrous way, with
supreme wisdom. [In fact, it is a powerful lesson in faith,
that eventually, all kinds of `things' heal, and when
something hurts, we can project ourselves into the future
when the pain will have disappeared.]
Our bodies are marvelous miracles of perfection, replicating
cells that make our hair and fingernails grow, sending
signals to our brains with a vast supply of information to be
sorted -- what we see, hear, taste and touch. We just need to
help our children get in the habit of having this sense of
wonder and curiosity with them always.
[And how about a growth line somewhere in the house, where
you pencil in the height of each child, write their name, and
watch them upgrow it, even week by week!]
*
This past year, our ten-year-old found a cluster of tiny eggs
in the garden, clinging to the underside of a leaf. She
collected them and put them in an empty oatmeal container.
After several days, 37 small brown caterpillars emerged from
their eggs and started crawling around. She divided them up
into several containers and supplied them with more leaves
from the original garden plant.
The caterpillars ate and grew fat. They crawled and ate and
grew still fatter until one day, many of them stopped moving
and became stiff. Apparently, they had all died. Several of
the deceased even got discarded before we realized what was
happening: they had become cocoons, pupae, or in Hebrew, the
golem stage, stiffened exoskeletons that contained the
caterpillars within, undergoing their transformation. Some
took two weeks, some two months, but each one eventually
emerged from this dormant state as a bright, whitish green
winged creature. Watching this development, seeing this
complete metamorphosis right in our home, on our children's
windowsill, was simply astonishing!
Caterpillars and butterflies have practically nothing in
common, and yet they are one and the same! What a powerful
metaphor for personal growth and change! This inspirational
process continued over several months, making this interval
our `Season of the Butterfly.' Every time another one opened
its wings, slowly fanning them, getting ready for the big
event -- to fly away into the blue yonder -- all the children
called to one another to come and see. It was a truly joyous,
awesome event!
All you need for this venture is some old cans, bottles or
pails, and some screening material (muslin cloth or old
stocking works great) to cover the openings. Use a rubberband
to secure it. Now you just have to find some tiny specimens
of eggs stuck to the underside of a leaf or beneath a rock.
Have the kids scour the permises for anything that looks
interesting, fascinating or promising. It is worth looking
around! Those who are old enough, can keep a journal [it can
be illustrated, maybe even photographed] to record when the
eggs were collected, their color and size, how long until
they hatched and what came out. I can't promise you
butterflies, but the wait and the results will certainly be
interesting.
If not bugs, try blowing soap bubbles. Watching each rainbow
colored fragile form float is enchanting entertainment for
all ages. The main requirement for captivating charm is to
really look and see how beautiful a bubble can be, how
perfectly round! And don't be embarrassed to squeal with
delight along with your three-year-olds when a bubble bursts
and splashes wee wet drops of moisture on your faces.
Another activity you can try right in the kitchen is to
retrieve some carrot tops that were destined for the garbage
pail and designate them to a small dish with a minimal amount
of water covering the bottom. If you have tried sticking
toothpicks in an avocado pit that took several weeks before
showing the slightest interest in sending forth a root or
shoot, then take heart with the carrot `tree.' Within even
one or two days a tiny green sprout may already begin to
appear. Kids love seeing the progress of their special plants
and there is enough room in one plate for everyone --
neighbors, cousins, friends -- to have their own tree to
tend. Little islands of orange with fresh, bright stalks of
feathery looking foliage are a cheerful addition to any
counter top or window sill. Eventually, when the life force
food supply in the carrot top has been expended, it may start
to rot. Try planting the carrot tree in some earth and see
what happens. [There are lots of other things that can be
planted, either on cotton wool or in plastic leben containers
with earth: legumes such as chick peas, beans, barley etc.;
these are quick growers which can be monitored and measured
by the day!]
Many years before our children were born, when I was an
idealistic student in high school, fantasizing about the
future, I imagined being the kind of mother who skipped
through the flower-filled fields with her cherubic babes,
laughing, singing, frolicking in the brilliant spring
sunshine. We would roll in the grass, make daisy chain
necklaces, spot deer with their fawns and baby bunny
rabbits.
Surrounded by nature's beauty, we would be one harmonious
unit. And in all this bliss of family rapport and
tranquility, threre would be no need for disagreeing or
arguing about anything. I never considered being short-
tempered or upset about things my darlings would ever do.
Never in my young dreams did I entertain the notion that yet
another mess made and not picked up would disturb me, or that
I would nag my tender shoots to listen to their mother, put
away their laundry, pick up their toys and stop complaining
if lunch wasn't what they liked. Now in these hectic weeks
before Pesach, when the stress levels can accelerate, it is
important (for me) to remember this simple way to alleviate
the pressure: get outside and enjoy the springtime with the
children! A change of atmosphere can lighten everyone up.
Remember R' Zelig Pliskin's advice for changing a tense,
tired, grumpy, whining mood? Energetically pummel one fist
into the opposite palm, exclaiming repeatedly, "I feel GREAT!
I feel GOOD! I feel GREAT! I feel GOOD!" (See Gateway to
Happiness).
It is hard for anyone present to keep a sour face, especially
when an Ima-turned-actress engages in any action out of the
ordinary.
Carrot trees, home-grown butterflies, soap bubbles, doing a
few calisthenics (watch an upset toddler start laughing when
Mommy does jumping jacks) all come in as handy tools for
heading off the grumbles, helping us feel more alive and
increasing our awareness of the world full of wonders with
which Hashem enriches our lives.
