R' Yaakov is sitting in his corner surrounded by a group
of young boys who are listening intently as his voice
reverberates with warmth and spirit.
You ask about truth? One can expound about truth for days and
nights on end!
Alright, let's examine, for example, the following question:
What, in your opinion, is the value of truth? That is, what
price is a person willing to pay for truth?
Apparently, there is no set price for it; each person and the
value he places on it. Every person has a limit up to which
he is willing to sacrifice, or pay, for truth. This is its
worth in his eyes. Most interesting is the fact that this
also defines his own worth. A person's equity in human values
is exactly equal to the price that he is willing to pay for
truth.
Which reminds me of a story about a scoffer who sold his
Olom Habo for a single ruble. His wife later forced
him to buy back his portion in Olom Habo, except that
by then, he had to pay thousands of rubles to purchase it.
When he had made the original transaction, his portion had
not been worth more than that one ruble to him and that,
indeed, was the value of his personal spiritual world at that
moment. When his moment of folly dissipated and he came to
his senses, he realized that his life in this world was
worthless without a World-to-Come. And so, the price of his
Olom Habo suddenly skyrocketed to the amount he was
forced to agree to pay for its repurchase.
Some time ago, I had a long conversation with someone who
considers himself an intellectually serious person. His shaky
lines of self defense tottered and tumbled one after another
until he found himself cornered into a tiny space with no
breathing room. I advised him to sign up for a week-long
kiruv seminar.
"For the chance of discovering the truth of your whole life,"
I told him, "you need only sacrifice a week-long vacation
from work and an only partial payment for your subsidized
stay at a hotel. Listen, this is your chance of a
lifetime!"
He writhed and squirmed and stammered some half-baked
contrived excuses why this year was particularly difficult
for him to take the week off. The true explanation was
obvious enough: for the truth of the purpose of his life he
was not prepared to pay such a high price.
A certain Jew I know, a certified shochet, is a most
pious person and his shechita is relied upon by
upright Jews in the community. Of late, he could not help
noticing a very slight tremor in his hands. He is no
youngster anymore, and this discovery shook him up a great
deal. Does this mean that his shechita is no longer
reliable? Must he abandon a profession of dozens of years
because of it? How will he support himself otherwise?
The degree of tremor in the hand holding his ritual slaughter
knife is barely discernible and he is the only one who has
noticed it. No one has said anything about it. Must he go to
the rabbi and tell him about it? This is one example of one's
confrontation with truth. Herein lies a true test of his
piety: is he prepared to pay the high price for truth in this
case?
A somewhat similar example involves a specialist in a
hospital, with the reputation of one of the top surgeons in
the country. He has also, of late, remarked a slight twitch
in the hand holding the scalpel. He hasn't killed anyone, to
be sure, but who, better than he himself, knows that even a
slight decrease in the accuracy required for his kind of
surgery will correspondingly decrease his patient's life
expectancy. What must he do? Any intimation of his lack in
precision will drastically reduce his reputation from one of
the most sought-after surgeons to one of mere advisor or
teacher of young proteges under his tutelage. This is a very
high price to pay for factual truth and responsibility
towards his patients.
You ask how much of a difference there is between the example
of the shochet and that of the surgeon. I know them
both. The shochet is a G-d-fearing person and knows
that Hashem is All Powerful, Who knows the hidden recesses of
a person's mind and conscience. His decision of what to do
with the problem of trembling hands must stand the ultimate
test before his Maker, the G-d of truth. He is answerable
before Hashem if he advertently is to blame for marketing
unkosher meat.
The surgeon, however, is under the impression that the world
is without accounting and that he need not report or defend
his actions before anyone. The only thing he is afraid of is
the supervisory committee of the Health Ministry which might
investigate him in the event that any scandal arise
concerning his capability as a surgeon. So long as he thinks
that no one is aware of his trembling, he has nothing to be
afraid of.
The student interning under the professor also faces a very
difficult moral test whether to publicize his knowledge of
his superior's falling performance which can endanger the
life of his patients. His deliberations are very difficult,
knowing that the price he pays for revealing this truth is
liable to jeopardize his standing in the medical field and
might even eliminate him as a future doctor. What shall
clinch his decision is the size of the price he be prepared
to pay for the truth, or in other words, his degree of G-d-
fear.
The very existence of the truth is immutably bound up with
one's sense of integrity and honesty, his fear of G-d. This
is what is written in our prayers, "A person must always be G-
d-fearing . . . and admit the truth and speak the truth in
his heart." No concept of truth can exist, neither in the
heart or the mouth, unless a person is truly G-d-fearing and
acknowledges the fact that there exists a superior Being Who
knows and judges and is also all-powerful in meting either
reward or punishment.
Not only a shochet or a surgeon is tested by the trial
of truth to determine the extent he is willing to pay for it.
Take the housewife who is cooking meat for Shabbos in a huge
pot to feed her large family plus numerous guests. A
delicious fragrance fills the kitchen when suddenly she
discovers that she has used a spice which her son brought
from the grocery and whose hechsher was not up to her
standard. She had inadvertently set it aside to be returned --
and erred.
What must she do? Throw out the entire contents of the pot
and go out to buy fresh chickens and begin all over again? Or
suffice with a meatless Shabbos? Perhaps, she rationalizes,
it's not so terrible, after all? Is that product altogether
treif? a small voice inside asks. Are there not
thousands of decent Jews who rely on it? They are not outside
the pale of Jewry, by far. What is so terrible about eating
food with this particular flavoring, just for once? In the
future, she will be much more careful, and will discard the
remainder of the container immediately.
It is not so much a question of the financial loss as the
personal shame of her good name as a superior cook hanging in
the balance. This is a difficult test also, because there are
plenty of justifications and excuses to allow her to simply
overlook the whole matter and continue on as usual and still
her conscience.
A weakness in the fear of Hashem is expressed in a lowered
standard for truth. When the problematic subject is revealed
to all, it is easy for a person to follow the path of truth
for his fear of public opinion is tangible, whereas one's
fear of Heaven is abstract, and demands a high ethical and
intellectual standard. In order to help those who lack this
high standard, the wisest of all men teaches us in his book
of wisdom, sefer Koheles, "In the end, all is
heard."
In the long run, in the ultimate reckoning, everything will
be revealed. The whole world will know exactly the details of
your problem, your deliberations and your final decision. And
you are concerned what people think of you, aren't you?
Therefore, you must weigh your factors now, accordingly.
Remember that Hashem is omniscient and He will expose your
degree of truthfulness before the rest of the world.
Therefore, advises King Shlomo in this verse, "Fear Hashem."
And know, "that this is the sum of man."
Your measure of truth and the price you set upon it is your
mark as a man. And this is identical to the measure of your G-
d-fear. It all lies in your hand.
