Diplomate, Board Certification of Emergency Medicine
Chairman, Department of Emergency Medicine Ma'ayenei
Hayeshua Hospital
Emotional problems are a large part of medicine and we have
dealt with some in the past in this forum. Today I would
like to discuss denial.
When we were flying to the U.S.A. for my parents' fiftieth
wedding anniversary, the plane had problems landing. Due to
crosswinds and updrafts, the plane made a few attempts
unsuccessfully to land with resultant stomach twirling
maneuvers that had people white-knuckled and a few people
vomiting. My reaction was that everything will be fine,
these are trained professionals who know how to fly an
airplane and so on. I was in denial -- while my wife did the
proper thing: she began saying Tehillim.
Recently I watched my weight balloon because I was in
denial. "I'm not that fat, I exercise daily, besides it is
OK to binge every once in a while, all the experts say not
to feel guilty, etc., etc." Denial. Finally I realized it
and started a diet. I lost 30 pounds and feel great. (By the
way, that was last March. We are still, thank G-d,
holding).
Denial can be healthy and proper, especially a first
reaction to bad news (such as a diagnosis of cancer lo
oleinu) or to grief. But like sadness, it must have its
limits or else it becomes pathological and can cause much
damage. People in denial neglect to do the things that could
really help them; and the longer they neglect medical
problems, the worse they get.
If you are in denial, you are probably denying that you are
in denial; so you'll have to depend on others to speak to
you. Having a strong social structure and an open mind will
go far in dealing with denial. Preventive measures include
taking care of yourself, going to the doctor for yearly
physicals, and mentally preparing yourself for all possible
outcomes. Best of all be able to daven for yourself
and for others who need help with this problem.
I should point out that depression is not denial. Depression
can also be temporary and normal, it becomes pathological
when it takes over lives by interfering with sleep, eating
and function. In its extreme there are feelings of
worthlessness of oneself and of one's life and this is the
most common cause of people hurting themselves. These cases
may need medications, with which people live normal
lives.
While on this subject, I should mention manic depression,
where there are mood swings that are extreme. The depressive
phases alternate with manic phases, where the person may be
giddy, spend lots of money and be very careless due to
extreme "happiness." Again this can be controlled with
medications.
Mild mood swings are normal and everyone has them -- just be
careful when they take over one's life and functioning.
Denial is a gift, it can help soothe a painful event by
making the acceptance smoother and more attenuated, but when
used in excess it can be lethal. Write me in care of the
Yated.
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