Why do we find so many people who are unmindful about the way
they daven to Hashem, even though everyone agrees that
tefillah is of the utmost importance? Maran the
mashgiach, HaRav Yechezkel Levenstein zt'l,
(Likutei Yechezkel, pg. 77), answers this puzzling
question:
"We do not hold tefillah in high regard because we
neither realize nor understand the essence of
tefillah."
The Mashgiach offers two helpful pieces of advice for
us so we can realize and understand this concept:
1) We must thoroughly believe that without tefillah we
cannot, simply cannot, have any yiras Shomayim. "When
one thinks deeply about what we have previously explained [in
that article], that tefillah increases yiras
Shomayim, our indifference towards it disappears. We
understand that yiras Shomayim is of supreme
significance and therefore anything intensifying it cannot
possibly be disregarded."
2) "Taste and see that Hashem is good" (Tehillim
34:9). "When a person has experienced the `taste' of
tefillah, his tefillah will be acceptable
[before Hashem]." A man acquires this "taste" after
strengthening within himself the fundamental concepts of
emunah and simcha. "Obviously he must first
understand and listen carefully to what he says during
tefillah. Without this fundamental knowledge, and
concentrating on what he is saying, he is not engaging in
tefillah at all."
The real pleasure experienced in tefillah is the
feeling of standing before HaKodosh Boruch Hu and
speaking directly to Him. "With only a bit of reflection and
attention a person can implant within his heart the
consciousness that he is actually conversing with Hashem . .
. is imploring Him for his needs . . . and Hashem is
listening mindfully to him" (Mesillas Yeshorim, ch.
19).
When, in even one really proper and successful
tefillah, a person senses this enjoyment, that
marvelous feeling prompts him to feel the same way in all his
tefillos. An awareness that "all will be satisfied and
delighted with Your goodness" (Shemoneh Esrei,
Shacharis of Shabbos) totally envelopes him. This sense
of Hashem's "goodness" will persist both when studying Torah
and when engaging in tefillah.
We see that ruchniyus is just the opposite of
gashmiyus: After being satiated with material matters
one no longer delights in them, but in spiritual matters,
after being satisfied with ruchniyus one feels even
more delight, and this delight generates additional satiation
that in turn brings more -- essentially endless --
delight.
We must pass on this wonderful feeling of true
tefillah to our children and to all our
talmidim, who are like our children. We should
establish regular shiurim to explain the inner meaning
of tefillah and depict how the tefillah of the
past and contemporary gedolei Torah and
tzaddikim looks.
Some examples of how to perceive deeper and more heart-
stirring meanings of tefillah are presented by HaRav
E. E. Dessler (Michtav MeEliahu I, pg. 256):
" `Who supports those who fall' -- Hashem supports all those
who fall (not only those who fell once, but even those who
continually fall). Hashem with His abundant mercy supports
even someone who is entrenched in tumah and is still
falling. How fortunate is it for such a person to have
virtuous hirhurim! HaKodosh Boruch Hu will cure
him of his soul's fatal disease and release him from the
ropes the yetzer has used to secure him. He will once
again be able to stand up and regain his previous
standing."
This excerpt shows how essential it is to hear what we are
uttering with our lips during tefillah. Each section
in our tefillah has within it a feeling of delight for
the fortunate person who "tastes" it.
HaRav Dessler writes in a letter of encouragement to a
yeshiva student: "You should primarily strive to make your
tefillah more sublime . . . to portray as it would be
in real life how HaKodosh Boruch Hu hears what our
lips utter and listens to our heart's musing."
We began this article by presenting two principles from the
teaching of Maran the Mashgiach HaRav Yechezkel Levenstein
zt'l about how to reinforce our tefillah: 1)
The profound awareness that without tefillah a person
lacks yiras Shomayim. 2) Our duty to feel the "taste"
of tefillah.
I would like to make more tangible the uniqueness of these
two factors with regard to the tefillah of our
children and talmidim. It is undoubtedly disturbing
sometimes to see the tefillah of our children, even
those already of bar mitzvah age. Many times parents and
teachers are dismayed when they see how their children and
students disregard their tefillah. This disrespect is
noticeable in their talking in the middle of davening
and sometimes even in the middle of saying Krias
Shema. They can run through an entire Shemoneh
Esrei in mere seconds.
We rationalize our noninterference by saying that it is
impossible to change reality, and when the children mature
and are in yeshiva ketana they will certainly
daven better. Justifying this inactivity is a definite
pitfall; it is a grave mistake. Children become accustomed to
davening in an irreverent manner. Unfortunately,
davening this way becomes second nature to them. Staff
members of yeshivos ketanos have told me that they
have particular difficulty in imparting a "taste" of
tefillah to their talmidim who never
experienced beforehand such a "taste." These hapless boys
must begin their avodas Hashem from the very
beginning.
At a meeting in Yerushalayim dedicated to Torah
chinuch a comprehensive discourse written by Mori
VeRabbi HaRav Shlomo Wolbe was distributed. In this discourse
HaRav Wolbe cries out from the depths of his heart about the
shocking problem of young boys dropping out of yeshivos. A
secular organization called Hillel exists, whose aim is to
detect boys who have been unsuccessful in their studies and
who have never learned what yiras Shomayim is. With
all sorts of tactics they remove these children from Torah
institutions where their parents wanted them to study and
enroll them in secular schools.
HaRav Wolbe implores us to seriously intensify our attempts
to show our children and students the importance of
tefillah to HaKodosh Boruch Hu. Without
yiras Shomayim children wander away from Torah and
become lost.
HaRav Wolbe presents several vital guidelines for parents.
First of all, parents must set a personal example, as role
models for the children, for example by saying bircas
hamozone out loud. Children and infants notice what is
happening around them. If the father davens out loud
and with kavono, the child asks: "To whom are you
praying?" The father answers: "I am speaking to the One Who
created us, HaKodosh Boruch Hu."
We must explain things to the child calmly and pick our words
with careful thought: we explain that if you do not ask your
parents for what you need they will not give it to you, and
the same is true with tefillah. If you request
something from Hashem He will give it to you, but if you do
not request it, He will not give it to you. "The will of
those who fear Him, He does, and their cry He hears, and
saves them" (Tehillim 145:18). Hashem will save them
only if they cry out to Him.
We should occasionally find some interesting chiddush
in tefillah and repeat it to our children during
mealtime, and especially during the Shabbos meals, just as we
say chidushei Torah to them at these special times. In
many homes it is customary to study hilchos loshon
hora for a few minutes each day. I suggest doing the same
for tefillah: to explain some sections of
tefillah. Each day we should explain another section,
so that the children will picture the tefillah as
something belonging to them. They will want to daven
before HaKodosh Boruch Hu and feel the enjoyment of a
real tefillah.
I would like to emphasize another important point. In the
past children would sit next to the fathers when they
daven and would receive direct and indirect guidance
from their fathers about how tefillah should look.
This they would do not only on Shabbos but also during the
week. It is disturbing that today we see this has changed,
and the change is especially noticeable on the weekdays. Even
when the father and son are in the same shul the
children do not sit anywhere near their father and are,
naturally, not positively influenced by him. Instead the
child roams around with his friends outside the
shul.
How pitiful it is that during the entire week the father does
not utilize his power of influence to teach his children how
precious tefillah is. Those children who sit near
their fathers during the tefillah possess a superior
level of yiras Shomayim, since they daven
better.
Let us conclude this article with what Maran HaRav Elchonon
Wassermann zt'l Hy'd wrote in one of his discourses
about a posuk at the end of Koheles (12:13):
"The end of the matter when all is said and done: Fear Elokim
and keep His mitzvos, for that is all of man." "That is all
of man" can also mean "all of mankind" -- every man, both the
biggest and the smallest. If one does not fear Elokim, if he
lacks yiras Shomayim, he is not a man at all.
R' Elchonon cites the Zohar that before HaKodosh Boruch
Hu created man, He asked advice from all the animals in
the world and only afterwards He created him. This means that
man is made up of attributes that can be found in all of the
different types of animals. A man comprises an entire "zoo"
of all of the world's animals. What is the chain protecting
that enormous zoo? Only a person's yiras Shomayim can
protect it. Without this he is only the biggest animal in the
world since he was created from characteristics of all
animals.
That chain of yiras Shomayim restrains people during
this terrible period where lust assaults us from every side
and a flood of permissiveness engulfs us. People tell us that
when Maran the Chazon Ish zt'l was asked what boy a
person should look for to make their daughter's
shidduch, he would answer: "First you must see how he
davens; according to his tefillah you can see
his degree of yiras Shomayim."
May Hashem help us to daven before Him with true love
and yirah, and may the posuk (Tehillim
69:14) "As for me, may my prayer to You, Hashem, be at an
opportune time" be fulfilled in its entirety.
