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Preparing for Pesach
By Rav Eliyohu Munk
It is impossible to build a house without first planning the
number of rooms and floors and all the other details. In
addition, the engineer also has to plan the foundations, how
much iron to use inside the concrete, which type of concrete
to choose for the ceilings and which type for reinforced
walls. He has to make a sketch so that everyone can
understand his proposals. The actual planning stage itself
takes up a lot of time, everything being checked and double-
checked first. How much more so do our preparations for the
holy Pesach period require us to plan carefully and
beseech the Creator to make us succeed and guide us in all
our ways.
There are many details about the Pesach period which
are not so well known. One example is the prohibition of
breaking the bone of the korban pesach. The Chinuch
(Mitzva 16) explains that it does not befit royalty to
drag bones and break them like dogs, and, each year, during
this period in which we became the am segula, our
behavior must reflect the elevated level which we acquired
at this time, so that we may forever internalize our
superior status.
Rav Shmuel Rozovsky zt"l adds, that although the act
to which this prohibition refers does not apply today, the
idea represented by it is applicable at all times, and every
Jew has the duty to behave honorably like royalty in all his
daily activities. Everything has its correct proportions,
every movement is meaningful, and if chas vesholom we
behave in an inappropriate manner, we may create an abyss in
which a person's whole ruchnius disappears.
The essence of the mitzvah then, is to get us
accustomed to decent manners, which form the basis for the
royal behavior and spiritual growth expected of every Jew.
Rav Friedlander, in his book Messilos Chaim Bechinuch
(p.63), suggests that another lesson to be derived from the
pre-Pesach preparations is that we have to be zerizin
in our performance of mitzvos. The Torah commands us,
"And you shall guard the matzos. The way to prevent
matzos from becoming fermented is to act promptly and
speedily. We are also obliged to eat the korban pesach
with matzo and moror before chatzos in
order to get us used to fulfilling mitzvos bizrizus.
Rav Friedlander concludes that this is the first message to
be derived form yetzias mizrayim.
It is interesting to note that the gemoro teaches us a
lesson about zerizus also in the context of korban
pesach. In Pesochim (89a), the Mishna says, "If
someone says to his sons, ‘I shall slaughter the
Pesach for whichever one of you comes first to
Yerushalayim', as soon as one of them has inserted his head
and the greater part of his body, he has acquired his
portion, and he acquires it on behalf of his brothers with
him."
In order to prevent any halachik conclusions being drawn
about breiro, the gemoro explains that the
father does this in order to train them in zerizus in
the performance of mitzvos.
In addition to these two categories of manners and
zerizus which we derive from halochos connected
with Pesach, there must surely be more examples. This
proves that he have to be meticulous in the way we relate to
all the halochos and customs and carry them out in
such a way that we receive the required training in
character traits.
Seder Night is the Climax as well as the Starting Point
The highlight of the whole of Pesach without any
doubt, is Seder night, and all our efforts, both physical
and spiritual, are geared towards this climactic event, and
how to derive the maximum amount of kedusha and
spiritual growth from it.
However, once the Seder is over, and we have utilized its
full potential, we should still not relax. The aftermath of
the Seder has to be as carefully approached as the Seder
itself.
Rav Dessler (Michtav Meeliyohu, Vol. 1, pg. 224), in
the article "Mitzvos: creators of life or external
garments?" explains that if someone performs a mitzva
with his whole heart and soul, using all his willpower and
dedication to overcome his evil inclination, that is called
life, because such a mitzvah fills his soul with an aspect
of holiness which it is missing. Proof of this is the fact
that he had to struggle with his yetzer before
fulfilling the mitzva properly, and the definition of
life is the rectification of an imperfection.
If someone performs a mitzva in an habitual manner, on
the other hand, then he is only creating a shell that lacks
the requisite motives and intentions. He goes on to explain
that for as long as a person struggles to keep mitzvos
(davening, brochos, limud haTorah and so on), those
mitzvos remain within the category of "life". There is
a constant battle going in within us which makes us become
strong.
He writes that to fulfill "Who may ascend the mountain of
Hashem" is difficult, but it is even harder to "stand in his
holy place", to maintain our newfound spiritual level in the
future.
Getting back to our topic, the Seder is "the mountain of
Hashem", and we have to absorb and maintain all the messages
of this evening throughout the days of chol hamoed,
the last day of Pesach, and the sephira period,
which are days of spiritual growth. If we want to be
successful in this task, we have to plan all the details
well in advance.
Children First
The first point to bear in mind is that Pesach is the
Yom Tov during which we educate our children to
emuno, bitochon and yiras shomayim.
We can see in the gemora and the halocha how
Chazal enacted several takonos with the purpose of
ensuring that children receive their spiritual due on the
Seder night. In Pesochim (109a) the gemoro says
that we distribute parched ears of corn and nuts amongst the
children, on Erev Pesach to keep them up so that they
will be able to ask questions, and that R.Akiva used to
distribute these to children for the same purpose.
The gemora there also says, "It was related of R.Akiva
that he never said in the Beis Hamedrsh, "It is time
to rise (to stop studying), except on Erev Pesach and
Erev Yom Kippur. On Erev Pesach because of the
children, so that they might not fall asleep". Rashi there
says, "so that the children should sleep during the day, and
not at night when the Haggodo is recited. In the
Rashbam there are two explanations, and Tosfos say
that in their time it was customary to learn also on the
evenings of Yomin Tovim, except for Pesach
night.
The halochos connected with this gemora are to
be found in Shulchan Oruch 472. The last Mishna Bruro,
in this siman says as follows: "We have to make sure
they stay awake until after avodim hoyinu, so that
they will be told about yetzias mitzrayim, because the
main part of the mitzva is to answer the son's
question, as it says, ‘And you shall tell your son on that
day, saying, because of this etc'. Not like some people, who
let their children go to sleep after ma nishtano,
without hearing any answer to their question."
When we plan our Seder night, we have to remember that
Pesach is for the benefit and enjoyment of the
children, each one according to his own level. We have
various levels, ranging from young children to adults. The
'program' is not limited to Pesach itself, but starts
from the beginning of the school vacation, and extends until
Shevuos. We have to make arrangements for occupying
the children during their vacation and plan how to get them
interested in mitzvos, some of which are strange and
difficult for them. The program must relate to both the
physical and the spiritual problems, which are closely
interlinked.
The purpose of the Seder
Before we formulate a program, we must know about the
purpose of the Seder, what is expected of us and what
we have to do.
The Rambam in Hilchos Chometz Umatzo (7:6) writes
slightly differently from the text of the Haggodo: "In
every generation a person is obliged to present himself as
if he himself just went out of the Egyptian bondage…about
this Hkb'h commanded us in the Torah, ‘And you shall
remember that you were a slave…"(there are some wonderful
diyukim to be derived from here, but we cannot go into
them now, and see also Sifsei Chaim Moadim Vol.2,
pp.355 ff.).
"Regarding this Rabbeinu Manoach says…when remembering this
(having once been a slave), you shall live with a constant
sense of yiras Hashem, appreciating the divine
hashgocho of the Jewish nation, and your heart shall
not depart from Hashem for ever. If you are suffering badly,
you must trust in Hashem, the Savior of the Jewish nation,
Who saves us in time of trouble. Just like the oppression of
the Egyptian bondage was the cause of their eventual
redemption, similarly all the calamities of this exile are
the starting point for us to be saved by the eternal
Savior."
In Menucha Ukedusho by a talmid of Rav Chaim
Volozhiner (p.94 in the footnote) he elaborates on this
point: "You must know that He who created us and our Evil
Inclination, knows that when we have matzo and
moror in front of us, we can successfully instill
ourselves with yiras shomayim, and not at any other
time, as it says, "On that day.
"You must know too, that even if you were to spend the whole
night teaching [your son] clever insights into the
Haggodo or pesukim from the Torah, you will not
have fulfilled your duty, which consists solely in imparting
to him the immensity of the miracle and how Hashem can
change nature according to His will, telling him about
Hashem's love for His nation and how He keeps His kindness
for those that love Him for ever and elaborating on these
topics. In addition, you should talk about calamities
befalling the righteous person, and good things happening to
the wicked, how we are downtrodden in this golus and
how Hashem has been and will be good to us."
Now that we have some awareness of the purpose behind the
Seder, let us examine how we should go about planning
for it.
Planning for the Seder
Let us start with Seder night itself (we shall soon
talk about the days before and after the Seder. Shekio
is a few minutes after 6 (in Eretz Yisroel), and
chatzos at about 11:40. That leaves us with about five-
and-a-half hours from shekio until chatzos
(regardless of whether we are in summer or winter time). We
daven maariv at least half an hour after shekio,
and the davening takes about forty-five minutes. We
may safely assume that we do not get home before 7:30. Those
who are particular to eat the afikomon before
chatzos, have to start the meal by 10:30 at the
latest. That leaves about three hours for the Haggodo,
and even that estimate does not take into account the time
it takes to prepare the keoro as well as all sorts of
problems that crop up even if we do start on time.
In Sifsei Chaim (Moadim, Vol. 2, pg. 354) Rav
Friedlander points out that the main part of the
Haggodo is from Arami Oved Ovi at which stage we
have to dwell at length upon the events surrounding
yetzias mitzrayim, but, in the meantime, the time is
taken up by the ma nishtano (which is also very
important) and then we discuss at length Avodim Hoyinu,
Yochol Mirosh Chodesh, the four sons and so on. By the
time we have reached Arami Oved Ovi we are forced to
hurry in order to manage the afikomon before
chatzos. Before we know it, the evening is over,
without our having utilized it to the full.
Those with some experience of leading a Seder keep a
watch next to them, so that they can organize their time
more efficiently. This is no easy task, considering that the
children have prepared explanations and insights on the
Haggodo, and, since Pesach is the children's
Yom Tov, we do have to listen to them. The solution
lies in telling them in advance that the main focus will be
on yetzias mitzrayim, and that they will have to
reserve divrei Torah on other topics for the meal or
even for the next day or chol hamoed. We must set
aside time during chol hamoed for learning the
Haggodo and finishing off what we did not manage
during the Seder.
The person conducting the Seder too, can leave things
to say for the meal and on chol hamoed. Someone who
was fortunate enough to have participated at a Seder
conducted by Rav Elchonon Wasserman zt"l recalls that
he only explained the text of the Seder, saying only
one original idea during the whole Seder.
The women too must know in advance how much time to set
aside for the meal, and arrange all the courses accordingly,
to ensure a relaxed yomtovdik atmosphere, free of any
time pressure.
After having made a brocho on the matzo, tasted
the moror and korech, and after having eaten and
benshed, we are full of feelings of emuno and
praise to Hashem. We express our gratitude to Hashem for
everything he has done for us by singing Hallel, word
for word. The most appropriate words for this purpose are
the expressions of the sweet singer of the Jewish nation,
Dovid hamelech and the marvelous song of praise,
Nishmas.
Naturally, we have to inform everybody in advance that we
are going to sing praises to Hashem. There is no need for
explanations, we just have to sing with emotion and
kavono. The same things apply to the songs at the end
of the Haggodo: Vayehi Bachazi Halailo, Zevach Pesach, Ki
Lo Noeh, Adir Hu, Echod Mi Yodea and Chad Gadyo.
These too should be sung slowly with feelings of
kedusho, but we have to add some words of explanation
to them. After these, everybody continues according to his
ability and level until he is overtaken by sleep.
When the Kehilos Yaakov zt"l reached Adir
Bimlucho, he would coronate Hkb"h with great fervor
and devotion. Even in his last years, when his strength
started to leave him, for this song he would gather up all
his energy and sing it, with tears in his eyes. Once when
the Chazon Ish zt"l was heard singing Bezes
Yisroel, he was asked to sing it again.
Let us now go back again a few days: the chadorim and
Beis Yaakov schools have broken up, and the children are at
home. How can we organize these days for the benefit of the
children, when there is so much to be done around the house?
Their day should be divided up into three parts: learning,
helping and recreation. A child needs some sort of leisure
time. An experienced educator once said that if you do not
give a child the chance to play when he is young, he will
catch up on his hours of play collecting much "interest" on
his debt when he is older. Still, a child has to spend some
time every day learning, and it goes without saying that it
is a privilege for him to participate in the preparations
for Pesach.
We must organize the day for him in a pleasant way. He
should start the day off learning, then help at home as much
as he is able to, and then play or read and so on. Then a
second "cycle" starts of learning, helping and playing etc.
The main thing is that he should not be without anything to
do and without supervision (but it is important that he
should not notice that we are supervising him). It is also
worthwhile to spend time learning with him topical subjects
such as the Haggodo, Pesach piyutim, tefilas Tal, sefiras
haomer and so on.
Rav Friedlander would point out that many parents tell off
their sons who are home from Yeshiva that they are not
learning all the time, but they ignore the fact that the
boys in bein hazmanim need to relax. However, it is
certainly unacceptable if they never open a sepher at
all chas vesholom, and a bochur does have to set
aside time for learning, preferably with a good
chavruso, because having a chavruso involves a
commitment.
We have to instill the message that by helping in the house,
we have a part in the mitzva of preparing for
Pesach, as it says, "'And the Jewish nation went and
did' – they had not acted yet, but since they had taken it
upon themselves to act, the possuk considers it as if
they had already acted."
In Shaarei Teshuva (2:10), Rabbeinu Yonah writes about
this, "In one short moment a person went out of darkness
into great illumination…as soon as he made this commitment
in his mind and in his heart, he acquired for his soul the
merit and reward for all the mitzvos and good deeds,
happy was his lot for having acquired such merit for his
soul in one short moment."
If we want to be successful in this, it is very important
not to force children to help, but instead to encourage them
to want to help on their own initiative. If possible, it is
a good idea to ask the child's teacher to talk in the
classroom about how, by helping in the house, a child is
fulfilling mitzvas kibud ov voem and making a small
contribution towards paying back everything he owes his
parents for all the chesed they have done for him
since he was born.
Rav Friedlander (in Messilos Chaim Bechinuch, pg.67)
points out that since the pre-Pesach period is filled with
tension, and we are likely to lose our temper, we have to be
especially careful about this. In addition to all the
obvious reasons for refraining from anger, we also have to
ask ourselves how are Pesach will look if its
foundations are based on anger and resentment.
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