A street that I use pretty often is about to have access to a
major highway. They are currently working on the last phase
of construction which is a ramp to take cars from the street
to the highway. The ramp is taking quite a while to
finish.
First they had to blast away some rocks, create a level area
and then pave the ramp. The reason why it has been such a
slow process is that the ramp is a few hundred feet long. Why
go to all that effort? After all, when you transition from
one city street to another you just slow down, look in all
directions, turn a corner and you are there.
In the city, the speed limits are quite low. You can enter a
new street, accelerate just a little and find yourself easily
able to keep up with the cars around you. However, cars
travel very fast on major highways.
If you just turned a corner and stepped on the gas, no matter
how powerful your car's engine was, it would take quite a
while to reach the same speed as the other cars zooming along
the road. A slow-moving car is a hazard on a highway. It can
be hit by an approaching vehicle, thereby causing a serious
accident.
Approaching a highway via a long ramp allows the driver to
bring his or her car up to the same speed as the cars that
are already traveling on the road. At the end of the ramp,
the driver just has to change lanes and he or she is safely
moving along with everyone else.
We are now well into MarCheshvan. During Elul, we made
grandiose plans. During the first ten days of Tishrei, we
sincerely resolved to improve ourselves and our lives. After
Yom Kippur came the exhilarating high of Succos. Next,
another week was spent taking down the succah,
tackling the laundry, throwing the house together and
restocking the freezer and the pantry.
Before we knew it, the school term was in progress and we
settled back into our old routine. Now that should be
troubling. Here it is just a few weeks after the Yomim Tovim
and we are back where we started. Nothing has changed from
last year. It is as if Elul and Tishrei had never happened.
What of all those wonderful plans and resolutions? Aren't we
supposed to be better people?
The problem is that we didn't give ourselves a ramp. We tried
to jump into a new year and a new reality while moving along
at the same pace as always. We did try. We went to
shiurim. We read up on ways to improve our
middos, to learn better and to daven with more
kavonoh.
Then we thought we could make a few minor adjustments and
shift effortlessly into the new mode. It didn't work because
we didn't allow ourselves time to come up to speed. We have
to start over and do it right.
Let's pick out one situation and try to implement some
changes. Suppose one of our resolutions was to bench
with kavonoh. Today — just today —- let's
stop our meal a few minutes earlier than usual. We'll get a
bencher and wash our hands.
Let's sit down and look at the words we are about to say. For
those of us who don't claim to be fluent in Hebrew, we'll use
a bencher that has English as well. Let's keep in mind
that we have eaten and are satisfied and are about to fulfill
the Torah commandment of thanking Hashem for Eretz Yisroel
and for our food.
We should bench slowly and clearly, looking at each
word, keeping in mind the theme of each paragraph even before
we begin it. On Shabbos let's be aware that we are going to
say "R'tzei." When we have completed that additional
paragraph, let's make a mental note to that effect. We'll do
the same for "Ya'aleh veyavo" on Rosh Chodesh. As we
bench, we'll work hard at being truly thankful to the
Ribbono Shel Olom for all of the tasty and nutritious foods
that we all too often take for granted.
Last but not least, let's slow down a bit each time we are
about to say Hashem's Name and focus on Whom we are
addressing. When I took a class in davening, it was
suggested that we try to devote 4 minutes to each
benching. A person can race through the
benching and finish in two minutes. Four minutes is
twice the time many people allocate to this important part of
our day.
I remember one time back in California, I was driving a
carpool of 11-year-old boys to an after-school activity. It
was about one week before Chanukah. Over the years, I drove a
lot of carpools and I must admit that I did not often tune
into what the boys were saying. But that day was
different.
The conversation was very animated and I wanted to know what
they were discussing. The boys had noticed that in that
particular year, Shabbos Chanukah coincided with Rosh
Chodesh. They realized that on that day, they were going to
be able to say every part of the benching. They couldn't
wait. When we work on improving our birkas hamozon, we
should strive to be as excited about benching as that
carpool of youngsters was on that memorable day!
If your benching is world class and you don't see a
need to work on it, that's great. Pick a different
mitzvah from your pre-Yom Kippur resolution list.
Maybe you want to improve your Shmoneh Esreh. The rav
who taught the davening class that I mentioned also
suggested that we resolve when we stand up to begin the
Amidah that we are going to stand there for a specific
length of time — say 8 minutes. Pretend we set a
kitchen timer. If we speed through the davening on
automatic pilot, we will have to just stand there for the
rest of the 8 minutes until the timer goes off. We might as
well slow down and get something out of what we are doing.
When we are in the Elul-Tishrei mode, most people resolve to
be better at interpersonal mitzvos. If that was part
of your list, pick up the phone early this Friday afternoon.
Call some people you know, just to wish them a good Shabbos.
Put a smile in your voice. Share some good news. Make
someone's day.
If you are fortunate enough to have parents, add them to your
Friday list. When you call, even if it is for a minute or
two, just to wish them a good Shabbos, you also tap into the
priceless mitzvah of kibbud av v'eim. There is
a reward in this world—-long life — but the
principal is reserved for the World to Come.
The quiet time of the year between Succos and Chanukah is a
long stretch without any holidays. This year, we can make it
special by using it to fine tune our middos and our
actions. We can take one item at a time, and steadily work on
small improvements. As we go along, we will move ahead faster
and faster. Before long, we will find that the ramp approach
has finally allowed us to get our mitzvah performance up to
speed.
