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10 Teves 5765 - December 22, 2004 | Mordecai Plaut, director Published Weekly
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Home and Family

The Shidduch
based on a true story

by Risa Rotman

Racheli came into the apartment, dropped her purse by the door and then dropped herself into the old wicker rocking chair. After a rock or two, she called out to her two roommates shmoozing at the back of the apartment.

"I'm back..." She let her words hang in the air. She knew they would be in their shared living room within seconds.

"What? When...?" The girls came running out. Judy and Esther plopped themselves down on the lumpy couch and took up their positions to hear how Racheli's latest date had gone. One look at her face and they knew it had been a success. It had been her second date with David and it definitely looked like they were heading in the right direction.

"Obviously, you had a great time," Judy noted. "I can see the stars in your eyes."

"I'll say," Esther looked Racheli over approvingly. "Nu, tell us where you went, what he said, what you said... You know."

"Well," Racheli started, "we just went for a walk in a nice park. He offered to buy me an ice cream but I opted for a diet coke."

"Yeah, those guys can't understand why we reject their offers for cake or ice cream."

"Stop interrupting, Esther. Let Racheli finish."

"I don't know. What is there to say? Somehow, it just seems to click. We have so many common interests. Our goals seem to be in sync..."

"Yeah, and he knows everything?" Judy asked with concern.

Racheli looked a bit taken aback but knew that her friend meant only well. "Yes, he knows about my parents' divorce. We even talked about what it was like being an adult when your parents separate. He was pretty sympathetic."

Just then Racheli jumped up. "Oh, my gosh! I forgot that I have a six o'clock walking date with Kayla tomorrow morning."

Esther mocked her friend. "Six o'clock? What do you think? You're a rooster? All right, good night girls. I don't have to tell Racheli to have sweet dreams." Judy still looked concerned as she got ready for bed.

In truth, Racheli herself wasn't so sure she had wanted to meet David. The whole way the shidduch had been suggested seemed absurd. It had all started when she had been eating Shabbos lunch at her adopted family, the Kleins. Racheli had learned for two years in one of the schools in Jerusalem for girls ranging in level and background. After an ulpan, she had decided that Israel was her home, had found a job using her teaching degree and was now sharing an apartment with some nice girls. She was hoping that she would soon find her bashert.

While in seminary, Racheli had met the Kleins among the many families that the school had set her up with. Somehow she had found herself going back to them many times. She enjoyed the warm relaxed atmosphere, where she knew she could reveal herself without too much probing. By her second year of seminary, Racheli found herself "hanging out" at the Kleins on Thursday nights, helping with the baking or just holding the baby while Netty Klein bustled about.

One particular Shabbos, there had been another girl eating who was presently learning at the same seminary Racheli had attended. Racheli hadn't taken much notice of her, as it was usual for the Kleins to have other guests. But apparently, she had taken note of Racheli and had decided that she was perfect for her brother's roommate. Her brother was also studying in Israel at a yeshiva with a beginners level. He was always mentioning what a great guy his roommate, David, was. David had already been learning at the yeshiva for a few years and had advanced nicely. His teachers were very proud of him and felt he had a great future. Unfortunately, nothing seemed to be moving with shidduchim.

Racheli was pretty skeptical when she heard all this via the Kleins but she did trust them and gave them permission to check out this boy and see if he was suitable. Upon their glowing report, a date was set. Of course, the Kleins let the matchmaker know all about their protogee. Was she listening to the details?

After another glorious date at the zoo, everyone was convinced of the inevitable outcome of this proposed match. Esther was humming a wedding song, the Kleins were planning sheva brochos and Racheli and David were glowing. For some reason, Judy seemed preoccupied.

*

Rachel was shaking with nerves as she dressed. She was meeting David that night and he had intimated that they were going somewhere special. After a frantic search through her closet, she finally came up with something suitable. They really did go somewhere nice. It was the new restaurant that everyone was talking about. The waiter showed the young couple to their reserved table. Everything felt so elegant. Racheli was giddy with nerves.

David started to calm her with some friendly banter and began talking about his day. "I decided to daven at the Kosel this morning. I thought it would be appropriate before such a momentous event in my — I mean our lives."

Racheli was sure she was about to faint. She half listened as he gushed on.

All of a sudden, after a moment or two, the import of his last statement started to register. "Can you say that again?" she asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry," David replied. "There I go again, talking at full speed. It's just that whenever I'm part of birkas kohanim at the Kosel, it has this effect on me."

"You mean receiving the blessings?" Rachel asked half- heartedly.

"No, of course not. I mean when I say them," David answered, puzzled. Suddenly, he took a look at Racheli and gasped. "What — what's the matter?" She was white as a sheet.

"I can't believe this could happen. How could you not have known? How could I not have known?"

She half cried. "I guess I'd better explain. My Mom converted non-Orthodox in order to marry my Dad. Then a number of years after we kids were born, she converted again..." David's eyes grew large as she continued, "...which means..."

Racheli took a breath and said, "...that I'm a convert since I was about two, reaffirmed when I became bas mitzva. So I can't marry a kohen."

There was nothing for David to say. He turned to the waiter. "Uh, we've decided that we're not hungry after all. Take this tip for your trouble."

Racheli followed him out of the restaurant. "Here," he said, "I want to give you money for a cab home. And Racheli, I really mean it when I say that I wish you a truly wonderful life. Good luck."

Racheli couldn't answer. Hopping into the first cab that came by, she saved her tears for the privacy of her apartment.

POSTSCRIPT: Racheli met and married a wonderful young man and has built a bayis ne'eman b'Yisroel. Ever since, she is always very careful to give over very accurate, comprehensive information for shidduchim, as we all should.

 

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