Well, the wedding is over. But it's not yet time to relax and
return to the normal pace of one's daily life. First one has
to survive sheva brochos. And, if you have not yet
made them for anyone, or if you haven't yet been the parent
of a newly-wed child, you haven't been through anything yet... may we have many such ordeals!
Truth to tell, one of the tremendous benefits of sheva
brochos is their effect on a person's emuna. As in
weddings, too, there is nothing quite like preparing for them
to make a person realize that every single thing is solely in
the hands of Hashem.
Given the fact that there is a world of difference between
hosting sheva brochos for someone or being the nervous
parent of a "We're waiting for the new couple to arrive," I
have split this topic into two parts. I hope they help.
*
The most important thing is to find out how many people will
arrive. To accomplish this, you must specify quite strongly
to the soon-to-be couple and their parents that they must
make it clear when they invite someone to the sheva
brochos that if the party says they are coming, then they
are being counted on to be there.
It is vital not to offer an open invitation such as, "We hope
you'll be able to come," or "We'd love to see you." In a
private home, everyone invited must be clearly told that if
they accept, they are expected to attend. Many is the story
of people who prepared for 35 expected guests, only to have
five couples show up, including the new one.
When the sheva brochos is taking place in a private
home, do not forget to plan for a place to put possible baby
carriages, unless you were smart enough to specify that no
children/babies should be brought.
In the winter, be sure to have a plastic pail or umbrella
rack outside the door for umbrellas, as well as a place to
hang coats. If there is no gemach for coat racks in
your town, it might be a wise investment to buy a cheap one
— and lend it out, while you're at it! Piles of coats,
particularly wet ones, do not do good things to a person's
couch or beds, where they eventually end up.
Keep the food simple. Soup is lovely in winter, but it may
mean spillage on a major scale. A first course of fish means
the necessity of extra forks and a possible need to rinse the
bottom plates, too, whereas a salami roll (a jelly-roll of
cold cuts wrapped in dough) does not drip, freezes nicely,
looks elegant and goes with almost any salad, which can then
stay on the tables with the main dish.
A side dish of rice is always good, can be made in advance
and frozen. Another advantage of rice is that it can be made
in a number of colors to contrast nicely with the main dish,
such as red Spanish rice, yellow rice with cumin, plain
boiled white rice and sweet rice dotted with raisins, toasted
almonds (cinnamon-optional).
Be sure to leave room for people to get up and down as well
as in and out of their chairs. Don't place chairs too close
or they will end up not being used at all.
Diet drinks, juice, non-carbonated drinks and bottled water
go on the women's tables, with regular drinks for the men,
preferably carbonated (cola!) and one bottle of diet
drink.
Save the empty soda cartons to store the empty bottles, and a
few empty cartons to store your filled up garbage bags. The
cartons make clean-up and garbage removal much easier.
Specify when you are REALLY going to start! There are plenty
of horror stories of sheva brochos beginning two or
three hours later than scheduled. Don't give a `round' time,
like 8 or 8:30 but an `off' time like 7:15 or 7:45. This
makes people think that you're more serious about the
starting time.
Saying that mincha/maariv is scheduled for x o'clock
is also a good idea since this improves the chances of
getting the couples to your home on time. This does not work
with bochurim who will come after davening, and
will ignore the time.
Tova S., director of the Yosef Mordechai Wedding Planner
Gemach, added a few more hints:
Ask the parents to tell the couple to recharge their mobile
phones on the day of the sheva brochos and to be sure
the phones are turned on so they can be reminded that people
are waiting for them if they have not yet arrived, but the
guests have. New couples are notoriously late. One friend of
mine waited so long that she told the assembled guests to
wash and sit down to the meal.
The couple showed up after the first course.
Don't forget to have two SHINED Kiddush cups and a card with
the appropriate blessings, or seven such cards for all those
being honored with a blessing.
[For more valuable tips from pre- to post-wedding call the
Wedding Planner Gemach at 02-571-4006 or 054-537-938.]
