Some people are blessed with a vivid imagination, others are
more factual. When pupils at school are given a choice of
subjects about which to write, some children will always
choose a subject about which they can fantasize. They let
their imagination run wild and they can weave a spellbinding
story. As long as the child learns what is real and what is
fantasy, imagination is a wonderful gift.
A very small child whose stories are complete fabrications
should not be crushed, but rather encouraged to tell the
stories. It is quite a common occurrence for a child to
arrive in kindergarten and inform the teacher that his mother
had a baby in the night. Teacher might even believe the story
if she does not know the family personally. It is wishful
thinking, to such an extent that the child really imagines
they have a new baby. A young boy, whose mother had just had
a new baby, told a younger sister that he had also produced a
baby in the night and couldn't get up to go to school. The
sister relayed the information to the harassed father who
snapped, "Tell him not to be such a silly boy, and to get
dressed immediately." The child obeyed but asked his father,
"You were right, I really didn't get a baby, but how did you
know, without coming to have a look?"
Dreams play a large part in a child's life. There are various
reasons for these vivid dreams, and like adult dreams, they
may be the result of the day's happenings. For example, a
child wakes up screaming and shaking with fear. Night after
night he stammers out the same dream, and "knows" that it is
not just a dream. There is a monster under his bed. Reasoning
has no effect, nor is there any point in telling him there is
nothing there. You can take him out of bed and together you
can search for the monster under the bed. He will still not
be convinced.
A child, who has a vivid imagination, watched a house which
had just been refurbished, burn. No one was hurt, but it took
the firemen quite a long time to master the flames. He could
not stop talking about the event, and woke up night after
night with the terrible memory of the conflagration. He might
well become a candidate for professional help.
Some children who need professional help for one reason or
another are treated by play therapy. They are frequently not
old enough to express themselves clearly, but will be given
the right tools, for example animals and cages in a sand box,
with various little people and furniture. This will enable
the child to play to his heart's content, building a scene
which might just mirror his own problems. A skilled therapist
can discuss the scene without discussing the child's own home
and feelings at all. They will talk about the people in the
sand box and after a few sessions, the child's problems are
solved. For those skeptics who 'do not believe in
psychology,' there are numerous cases to prove that play
therapy really works.
Creativity and imagination are very closely linked. The child
thinks up an impossible idea and works on it; maybe this time
something will come of it. We cannot allow our children to
live in an imaginary world all their lives, but when they are
developing, it does not do them any harm, and can only enrich
their lives. One small boy would do nothing without "Alter
Shamshoo." He ate his meals with him, went to bed and got up
with him. He was even late for school once, because his
friend was not quite ready. The following year, Alter
received a title. He became Mr. Alter Shamshoo. A little
later he acquired semicha and the Mr. was replaced by
Rabbi. Not long after that, the friend faded out; he was not
mentioned again. His curious mother could not help asking,
"Whatever happened to your friend Alter Shamshoo?" "He died,"
was the nonchalant reply. This imaginary friend was certainly
a part of this boy's life and often quite exasperating for
the mother who did not attempt to ridicule the child. Strange
to say, as an adult, this particular man is neither very
imaginative nor in the least bit creative or original.
Perhaps readers have similar stories of their own where the
child did grow up to be an inventor or writer?
Depressed children and adults, too, try to escape into a
world of their own. In this imaginary world, they can hide
from reality as they try to build their lives. They recover
more quickly if they get help and understanding from the
people around them, but are often quite difficult to live
with. They are frequently born with oversensitive feelings,
and a large percentage of them do not do well academically.
There is no one particular cause for their melancholy, but
remarks or small incidents which would not affect someone
less highly strung, might even bring on a panic attack.
Thereupon the child hides inside his private thoughts, which
are a safe haven from the outside world.
When she was a toddler, Chana used to burst into tears for no
obvious reason. She attended nursery school, but had very
poor social skills. By the time she was in Grade 2, she was
acting more and more strangely. She used to leave her desk
and hide in corners, frequently covering her ears with her
hands and she would not reply to any questions. Teacher
advised the reluctant parents to seek professional advice.
The child was diagnosed as having super acute hearing (apart
from some signs of autism), and the normal classroom noise
was quite unbearable to her. Thus she withdrew into her own
imaginary world which shut out the classroom.
Now how are we to know when a child is over fantasizing, and
when it is a natural part of development? If the child
functions normally at home and in school, and just has this
vivid imagination, with an inclination to tell tall stories,
one can turn a blind eye: albeit making him aware of the fact
that tall stories are fun, but not true.
However, as soon as a child withdraws into his own world
completely and starts going downhill in school, or his
behavior is markedly different at home, it is not worth
waiting. Get advice or help as soon as possible. You might
even work out his problem for yourselves; perhaps it is
discord amongst parents, or someone making fun of him or
bullying him. Perhaps even (rarely) a teacher taking a
dislike to him. Whatever the trouble, do not sweep it under
the carpet. Most teachers will not inform parents of untoward
behavior, unless asked. It is strange, but parents can become
quite aggressive and even bellicose when told some
uncomplimentary fact about their child, even if they know the
fact themselves but have been deluding themselves. It is much
easier for a specialist to deal with small early problems
before they turn into major adult problems.
Finally, if the child, by the time he is nine or ten, is
telling obviously untrue stories for his own benefit, for
instance that he is regularly finding items or money, this is
not imagination any more. (Telling untruths is not the
subject under discussion just now; there was an article about
this complicated problem some time ago.) We should not delude
ourselves that the child will outgrow it in time. Small lies
turn into bigger ones, and are definitely not just
imagination!
