The following is a compilation of teachings about forgiveness
from several sources, including Miriam Adahan and Rochel
Frumin, and based in Torah. I would like to pass these on to
you not as my own original thoughts but as the spiritual
pathways I have learned to travel on, which lead not only to
forgiveness but to healing ourselves and the world. May we be
inscribed for health, happiness and PEACE in the coming year
Shana tovoh and Gemar Chasimah tovoh!
1) Not forgiving someone keeps them in my life. If I want to
protect myself from the other person, I need to forgive them
and then I can release them. I imagine them walking away from
me covered in the light of my forgiveness. Now I am protected
from their coming back to hurt me again.
2) I think not forgiving makes me right, while the other
person thinks they're right also. I assume they have forgiven
me and I do the same.
3) If I don't want to forgive because that condones the other
person's behavior, by forgiving them, I show that there
is something to forgive and validate my feelings of
hurt.
4) If I believe not being forgiving gives me power, forgiving
is emulating Hashem, the greatest Power.
5) Forgiving another person is conducive to Hashem's
forgiving me.
6) Forgiving and releasing a person from my life gives me
power over my life.
7) Forgiveness is both humility and strength.
8) The other person is needy of compassion. I forgive the
other person, because I am compassionate.
9) When I forgive others, I gain the power to forgive
myself.
10) The ability to forgive is a sign of self-esteem. It means
that I don't need anyone else's approval and their opinion of
me isn't relevant. [Ed. I don't like this one except in the
context of "My soul shall be as dust . . . "]
11) People who hurt me teach me a lesson and help me grow. I
am grateful to them for that lesson.
12) People who I get angry with show me what I need to fix in
myself and so I can. I am grateful to them.
13) To forgive someone is a mitzvah.
14) Resentment is pouring poison down my throat thinking it
will kill someone else. Resentment and anger can lead to ill
health. I forgive others so that I can remain healthy —
in body, mind and soul.
15) Resentment means letting someone live in my mind, rent-
free. I release my mind of resentment, forgive the other
person and fill my mind with positive thoughts.
16) Forgiveness doesn't excuse the behavior, just the
person.
17) If I forgive the other person, I can transcend them, like
passing a slow-moving vehicle on the spiritual highway.
18) I forgive them because they don't have the tools to act
differently. I can only forgive someone whose behavior is
inferior to mine.
19) Forgiveness is a sign of a high level of spirituality.
20) I forgive them because I don't know their whole story.
21) Resentment is the tool of the yetzer horah to keep
me from focusing on growth. Forgiveness disarms him.
22) I release the past and focus on present growth.
23) The behavior of others has nothing to do with me. It is
part of them and their journey. Forgiveness is part of me.
24) Only Hashem can hurt me. No one else has power to hurt me
on their own. They are messengers of Hashem, with one of two
messages. Either 1) Grow from this or 2) Move on, this has
nothing to do with you.
25) Forgiveness is saying no, thank you, to the abuse of
others. I say no, thank you.
26) I find a way to accommodate other people's weaknesses.
Internalize and then, pass it on!
