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Home
and Family
It's in the Air
by A. Reader
Why is it that the frenzy attacks us just before or straight
after Purim? Could we not begin the Spring cleaning two
months earlier, at our leisure? In the winter, we do not have
the urge, the motive or the incentive to start the annual
cyclone in our homes. Perhaps that is the reason why it is
called 'Spring' cleaning. Besides, if it is a household with
small children, one could in theory spring clean top
cupboards, but only places where the little ones cannot
possibly reach. According to the strict letter of the law, it
seems that we only need to sweep our floors thoroughly,
before Pesach arrives. However the annual flurry is what
makes the oncoming yom tov so important in our lives,
and engraves the rituals onto the minds of our children for
generations to come.
Many years ago, a Jewish man, who was far removed from
Yiddishkeit, happened to visit my house during the week
before Pesach. He sniffed the air and announced 'it smells of
eingemachts. He himself was not too sure of the
meaning of the word, but said that when he was a little boy,
he used to visit his grandmother before Pesach, and that it
was some sort of Pesach food. For this person, the words
Erev Pesach conjured up smells of food. These emotive
words mean distinct things to different people. Some may
think of the endless peeling of potatoes and yet more
potatoes. Others rejoice in the team work, exhilaration and
cheerfulness which pervade the house, in spite of the
pressure to remove chometz. There are some unfortunate
people who shrink at the very thought of the pre-Pesach toil,
or they might dread all those teenagers at home at the same
time, consuming mountains of food, talking loudly, bickering
and playing endless tapes.
During the weeks before Pesach, most people seem to attract
extra physical and mental strength, as if a constant stream
of adrenaline was supporting them. The concentrated effort of
cleaning pervades every home. The spirit of cleaning is in
the air, and during those frenetic days, it is the rare woman
who does not ask at some time or other, how much the neighbor
has achieved. Each family has different circumstances, so it
is impossible to prescribe one procedure or technique for a
successful erev Pesach campaign. Nevertheless, there
are some basic rules which are worth adopting, if you have
not already done so.
Make lists, the longer the better. Some women 'cheat.' They
prepare a list for the day, and then find at the end of the
day that they have done a dozen tasks, such as serving lunch,
washing dishes, folding that day's laundry, which were not on
the list. Then they go to the trouble of adding them to the
list, before crossing them out!
Someone once asked the Maggid of Dubno how he always managed
to find a suitable parable for every situation. He explained
with a parable. "A traveler was passing through a forest
clearance and saw a shooting target with concentric circles
and several arrows in the exact center. He asked a young boy
who was standing nearby how he always managed to shoot a
bull's eye. The boy replied that he had indeed shot those
arrows onto the trees but that he had drawn the circles round
them afterwards! Although you know full well that you cannot
possibly do everything from the list in one day, crossing out
all those tasks gives a person a great feeling of
fulfillment.
Allocate jobs according to the personality of your children.
Some love doing errands, and will willingly take the babies
to the park each day. There are those whose work is done
slowly and meticulously. They are the ones who will sort out
all the toys and puzzles and you can be sure that it is done
to perfection. Occasionally, someone will complain that she
always gets the harder jobs while So and So gets the easy
ones. You can suggest that she exchanges jobs, and then you
will find that they go back to their original tasks.
It is a good idea to let the children choose their own work
from the list. Likewise, it is worth letting the older
children suggest a campaign of work. For instance, one of the
boys might suggest cleaning all the windows in one day,
instead of cleaning one room thoroughly. If it does not suit
you for some reason, tell him that it is an excellent idea
but åand explain why it will not work, or why you do not
agree this time.
In every house there are some things which nobody likes to
do. One woman I know makes lists on pieces of cardboard and
puts them into two boxes. One box holds the pleasant jobs,
the other contains the less popular tasks. Each child chooses
two for the day. Some may not be very time consuming, so the
child draws another slip. She does not mind in the least bit
if the slips are exchanged, as long as both parties are
satisfied.
Some children are slow workers by nature (and it follows them
throughout life). Some are incapable, or rather less capable
than others. It is kinder and more effective to suggest,
"Let's go and help him finish off," instead of delegating
someone to help him, i.e. "go and help him finish." The
unwilling workers do not always do a satisfactory job, but
criticism might evoke the response, "Oh, well, if you are not
satisfied, I might as well not help at all." This spoils the
team spirit and the mutual satisfaction in preparing for
yom tov
Wise mothers do not always have to notice the black mood,
although they do have to be alert to hurt feelings. Some
children help cheerfully at all times, not only before
Pesach. The secret is that Mother thanks them every single
time, and shows her appreciation. Why do so many children
prefer to help strangers? Because strangers are very grateful
for extra help, and thank the helper politely. The snack they
receive at a stranger's house during a short break tastes
infinitely better than anything they have at home! Do not
discourage those children who obviously prefer to help
grandmother or a married sister. If you let them go, and they
come home starry eyed, feeling good about themselves, you
will know that you will have to compliment that child more
frequently in future.
As a break from the real hard work, it is fun to sort the
photo drawer together. If you sort out the year's handwork
which the children have brought from school, do not dispose
of their treasures if the owner is around. A middle-aged
couple, whose children were all married, moved to smaller
premises. They found that they had hoarded children's
creations for over 25 years! We do not have much opportunity
during the year to enjoy each other's company. If the work is
planned in advance, you will find time to do all these
things. However, if you are under pressure all the time, old
clothes will not get sorted, and nobody will look at the
photos. After all, it is not chometz.
To summarize, make lists for each day or for the week. Try to
keep everyone cheerful, and supply them with good food,
before, or after work! A happy, tension free, kosher Pesach
to all readers.
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