HOME & FAMILY

At the edge of the table rested a tall stack of tests, waiting. Finally, I was free to mark them, even though it was already late. Not that I'm complaining, G- d forbid. We've had some trying days this past week.

Blessed Mothers
by A. Ross, M.Ed.

"And the Children of Israel were fruitful, and they increased..."

The Gifted Artistic Child
by Devora Piha

Our real goal is not to single out an artistically talented child but to bring out the best in the child. He can be a magnet of inspiration and a creative force for himself and others in all areas, not only art.

Happenings
by Bayla Gimmel

Bayla Gimmel knits us a Security Blanket of Many Colors...

Your Medical Questions Answered!
by Joseph B. Leibman, MD

We will continue on our discussion of rhythm disturbances. We discussed the situation in young people, and indeed, electrophysiologists can map the electrical centers in the heart and actually burn out the offending center. Not easy work and you should consider a good cardiologist in a good center to do this work.

POET'S CORNER
Praise, criticism, encouragement, responsbility, independence, affection...

Issues succinctly covered in this very-common-sense and comprehensive selection.

Raising Our Children

by Heshy Unger

Raising our dear children is certainly no easy task;
The responsibilities are great; the trials are vast.
Here are a few words of advice and support, in the form of a rhyme,
To help keep us constantly in the right frame of mind.

We must realize that our children are precious diamonds from Hashem;
Our job is to polish them by bringing out the very best in them.
You must believe and tell yourself that you are the best parent that can be,
"Otherwise Hashem would not have entrusted these precious children to me."

We must learn to be patient, to always remain relaxed and calm,
For getting angry and shouting will do no good -- only harm.
If a child misbehaves, show your disappointment and dissatisfaction;
However, it should not be directed at the CHILD, rather at the ACTION.

We should not be quick to punish; we should ask the child why this was done;
We must always judge favorably; perhaps s/he was tired or angry at someone.

Hitting should not become a method; it should only be used as a last resort;
Never strike in anger, without giving it some careful aforethought.
If a child speaks chutzpadik or says an outright lie,
He should be punished; such things should not be allowed to pass by.

Be firm and consistent; make sure a punishment fits the crime.
Explain why he is being punished; he'll learn not to do it another time.
A child should feel he was punished out of love and concern for his sake;
It should not be beyond us to apologize if the punishment was a mistake.
We should never make threatening statements, such as "Oh, just wait and see!"
This can greatly frighten a child and cause much animosity.

We don't have to always mix in when we see our children fighting; They can work things out alone, unless they are doing something dangerous, like biting.
If a child refuses to do something, he might be better left alone;
Perhaps wait for a better time, when he wants to do it on his own.
If a child tells us he did something wrong, we should never impulsively shout,
For a child must know and always feel; he can open up and talk things out.

If a child does something GOOD, we should encourage him, show we are proud,
But not over praise him, especially in front of other siblings or a crowd.
We must recognize a child's character and traits, not make demands on a whim,
Nor should we compare a child to others, rather do what is right for him.
A child who put in a sincere effort to study and tried his very best,
Should receive praise and encouragment, even if it wasn't as good as the rest.

Children need their independence and to be shown how to do things on their own,
Balanced with supervision; "Tell us where you are and let us know when you're expected home."
We should teach our children responsibility and show them our trust;
Let them make some decisions and learn from their mistakes, not only from US.

Give a child respsonsibilities which he can enjoy and do zealously,
Involving him with younger siblings neutralizes a lot of jealousy.
A child needs individual love and attention; quality time with you on his own,
It is vital to develop a personal relationship; your interest must be shown.
A child needs to be given respect; we should listen to what he has to say;
We should hear him out patiently until the END; not cut him off in any way.

Learn not to spoil your children; not to give in to everything they request;
Don't imagine you're depriving them, for really, it's only for their best.
Truly feel that your children can succeed, and express it to them as well;
If a child senses low expectations, he'll have little desire to try to excel.
If a child is upset over a mistake, or tried something that just didn't go,
Tell him it happens to everyone; "Try again and do something more apropro."

We must act as proper role models, and practice what we preach.
Otherwise, we lose our influence; they'll feel we don't mean what we teach.
Sholom bayis issues or problems shouldn't be discussed with children around;
The home must be warm and peaceful, a place where they feel secure and sound.

Be open-minded to insights and advice which people, or books, have to say,
But know -- there are no set rules; each child is unique and special in his own way.

May we all be granted Heavenly help and come to appreciate and understand:
When all is said and done, the success of our child's future is in Hashem's hand.
And therefore, we must always remember to constantly pray fervently to Hashem,
For who can guide us better with our children -- if not our Father Who created them!