When we found out that the rebbes in my son's cheder
were allowed to smoke in front of the students (though not in
the classrooms during the lessons), my wife and I decided to
try to clean up the air of the cheder. Our sons have
asthma, so cigarette smoke is no joke. After an intensive and
well-thought-out campaign, we succeeded in getting a ban
against smoking and our boys were able to breathe a clean
sigh of relief.
Here are guidelines that may be of use in getting smoking out
of the cheder if the situation is similar in your
school.
When we started our campaign, we were warned that our
campaign might cause resentment that could cause difficulties
for our boys in their studies at the cheder. However,
it is important to keep in mind that this is not a war and
the administration and staff of the cheder are not
your enemies but are friends who are trapped in a vicious,
murderous habit, and that you are really trying to help them
as much as you are trying to help the students.
Approaching everyone involved with a positive attitude
towards them, always being careful to present a calm and
friendly face, should greatly reduce, if not eliminate, any
resentment. Talking to the principal and getting his
permission before you do anything, which we did, is a big
help.
It also is very important to keep in contact with a genuine
talmid chochom to discuss the problem and get advice;
his wise words will keep you from losing your temper when you
get involved in discussions with the smokers and their
supporters. For that matter, it is also very worthwhile to
get a good book on anger (I recommend Hakaas
VeTotzosov) and study it several times a day for a couple
of minutes. Even so, if your son is going to suffer from your
actions, either change your tactics or just desist -- the key
bottom line is your child's well-being and happiness in
learning Torah.
With all that in mind, you can begin the first and most
important stage -- the propaganda campaign. While you may be
familiar with all of the U.S. Surgeon-General's reports
against smoking since 1965, most chareidi smokers are not.
While they have a vague idea that smoking can cause cancer
and heart attacks, they are ignorant of how common and wide-
ranging the damage is to the smoker's health.
In order to remove this veil of ignorance and apathy, and to
promote an understanding of why you are making such an effort
to ban smoking, distribute factual pamphlets against smoking
to all of the rebbes of the cheder. We handed out an
excellent one put out by the Israeli Cancer Society. To be
more accurate, to increase their effectiveness we gave them
out to the wives. If the rebbes weren't worried about their
health, their wives would be. My wife, with the principal's
permission of course, also hung up anti-smoking stickers in
prominent places in the cheder and left some pamphlets
in the rebbe's room.
Don't expect the cold words describing healthy lungs and
hearts going up in smoke to end the problem. For us, the
pamphlets awakened the non-smoking rebbes to stand up for
their rights for smoke-free air in the rebbes' room and gave
the principal an opening to restrict smoking in the
cheder. But he didn't outlaw smoking altogether and
the rebbes still smoked in the halls and other sensitive
areas of the school. My sons were suffering less, but they
were still suffering. Don't get discouraged: get ready for
the next stage.
At this juncture, the next step is clear -- to organize the
other parents who are against smoking, or to ask the head of
the cheder to bring the question before one of the top
poskim in order to resolve the issue "once-and-for-
all." I recommend the latter, more serene path.
We ourselves, with the consent of the head of the
cheder and the help of my rosh kollel, submitted the
question to one of the leading poskim of the
generation. His ruling succinctly stated that smoking in the
vicinity of children was forbidden and a special place away
from children should be set up for the smokers.
If you reach this stage of the struggle and sit back at home
thinking that your cheder will implement the
psak quickly and completely, as we did, you may be in
for a big surprise.
Even then, unknown to us, our sons' cheder allowed
widespread violation of the psak. Only after great
efforts on our part did we succeed in reducing the violations
to a minimum. Our advice is vigilance, vigilance,
vigilance.
Take nothing for granted, even a psak din. Constantly
monitor the situation and intervene when necessary. Visit the
cheder frequently, armed with a copy of the
psak to show any deviating rebbe.
Again, don't antagonize anyone. Be cheerful and friendly. You
don't want to cause problems for your sons. This extra bit of
effort is worth it. Even with these irritating violations,
our sons were breathing cleaner air and their health improved
immensely.
Fighting against an entrenched custom may seem daunting, but
it is worth the effort. Not only are you protecting the
health of defenseless children, but chances are good that you
will convince at least one smoker to cut down or quit smoking
completely, and we all know what it means to save even one
life.
Be patient, stick carefully to the Halacha and use your G-d-
given ingenuity. Most important, get up from your easy chair
and START TODAY.
A fireman doesn't put out fires sitting in the firehouse.
