|
|
| |||
|
IN-DEPTH FEATURES
Slowly but steadily Rebbetzin Wurzburger is creating a whole
army of Jews who watch their tongue, one battalion after
another of soldiers who are careful to avoid loshon
hora and spend time learning hilchos loshon hora.
One day, hopefully soon, we might even see the day when we
have to strain our memories to recall when we last spoke
loshon hora and why.
This dream is gradually becoming a reality through the
devoted efforts of Notzrei Haloshon activists like Rebbetzin
S. Wurzburger of Jerusalem (originally from Detroit), for
whom nothing is too difficult and nothing dearer than raising
consciousness on shemiras haloshon for yet another
Jewish soul.
The activities pursued by this and other similar
organizations reach every stratum, starting with children --
the flag-bearers of shemiras haloshon. Many of them
began to hear about loshon hora and avak loshon
hora at gatherings held after candlelighting on Shabbos
evening in various neighborhoods.
Now this project has gathered momentum. During Succos, for
example, Mishmeres Hasholom and Notzrei Loshon organized
special gatherings for children in Jerusalem and Bnei Brak.
Thousands of children filled the halls where they were held.
The idea of presenting the halochos of shemiras
haloshon -- which are not easy -- in an interesting
manner was very innovative. Children sit and listen to
fascinating programs that infuse them with the importance of
shemiras haloshon along with values such as ahavas
Yisroel and limud lekaf zechus.
Say what you may, it is always thrilling to see children from
every background sitting together, listening to prominent
rabbonim addressing them and singing together with musical
accompaniment. Some of the songs were even composed
especially for these gatherings. The children bring this
atmosphere into their homes -- another sign of our upside-
down generation.
Leading educators were charged with the task of developing
program material for these gatherings, including HaRav Moshe
Kletzkin, HaRav Meir Tzimrot, HaRav Ben Shoshan, HaRav Blau
and HaRav Markovitz.
Today Mishmeres Hasholom operates in over 40 neighborhoods
around the country. More than 30,000 families are members and
thousands of ladies representing Mishmeres Hasholom organize
shiurim on sefer Chofetz Chaim in their
buildings, studying at least two halochos per day. In
many homes families commit to at least one hour a day of
extra stringency in shemiras haloshon. Monthly prize
drawings are just the pinch of salt used to improve the
taste.
What do these festive gatherings provide?
HaRav Trovitz of Notzrei Loshon does not seem to understand
the question. "Hundreds of families have joined the Mishmeres
Hasholom circle following the gatherings and the accompanying
publicity," he says. "People have made commitments to
regularly attend a shiur on the Chofetz Chaim's
seforim and to be more stringent in maintaining pure
speech."
Looking for More Clients
Although these organizations are found in chareidi areas
across the country, shemiras haloshon standards are
not uniform everywhere. "In Jerusalem there is a project
called Mishmeres Hasholom," says HaRav Trovitz. "It's really
a shame that in a big city like Bnei Brak there is nobody to
take on this important project. On the other hand, in Bnei
Brak there is a project consisting of study and tests for
some 1,500 girls from 7th to 10th grades from all backgrounds
and streams, and boruch Hashem new branches have been
born out of this project in Ofakim, Zichron Yaakov, Kiryat
Gat and elsewhere. We are looking for an energetic activist
to organize these tests in an important city like
Jerusalem.
"We are about to print another 10,000 copies of the book,
Chofetz Chaim -- Shemiras Haloshon, and we are also
about to print another 8,000 copies of Ahavas Chesed.
By the way, ahavas chesed is being pushed incessantly
by HaRav Moshe Chaim Gura, in memory of his wife,
a"h."
In all conversations with people promoting shemiras
haloshon one senses the financial restraints, which place
limits on many endeavors, stop development and even restrict
organized activity.
"Despite the strain there is constant activity," says HaRav
Trovitz. "The 52nd edition of shemiras haloshon books
in pocket format has been released. Now that's a real best-
seller!"
And there are also other plans in the works, including a
special notebook-edition in which the daily halochos will
appear on separate sheets. "This will make it possible to
hang the Shemiras Haloshon Daf Yomi in elevators, in
yeshivas, in teachers' rooms. It's very easy to learn while
traveling using such a sheet."
It's a great idea, but how will you finance it?
"On the right side of every page will be a space to
memorialize someone who has passed away le'ilui
nishmosoh on the yahrtzeit. For $50, people will
study le'ilui nishmas the niftar, whose name
will appear on the right-hand side of the page. We are
nearing publication, but a few pages are still available for
purchase, in accordance with the yahrtzeit, of
course."
Chavruso
Take the chavrusas idea, for instance. A quite simple
idea, but like all brilliant inventions its simplicity is
what makes it so fabulous.
"Women call me," explains Rebbetzin Alkichen, who organizes
chavrusas in Jerusalem, "and ask for a chavruso
to learn two daily halochos."
How do they know to come to you?
"My phone number is publicized by Notzrei Loshon. (There is
also a phone number of English speakers.) I have a list of
women who turn to me and when a woman asks, I find her a
study partner."
Do women request a study partner of a certain type?
"No. I work according to the order in which the ladies call
me. But sometimes I receive special requests. One woman
requested a "strong" chavruso who would help her keep
up her study routine and strengthen her in shemiras
haloshon.
How do you know who fits that description?
"I simply ask the woman I think would be appropriate if she
has ever studied the halochos, if she is consistent in her
study, if she tries hard to watch what she says. Requests are
also made by young ladies who want to study with other young
ladies. But usually there are no special demands. They
receive a phone number and a chavruso is formed.
Is demand high?
At first there were a lot of requests. After chavrusas
were arranged there was a period of tranquility. Since then
every so often there is a new wave. It generally happens
after an article on the subject gets published. I estimate
that today, in Jerusalem alone, there are hundreds and
hundreds of pairs and, using simple arithmetic, that comes
out to thousands of women who study in chavruso every
day. In other parts of Eretz Yisroel, a conservative estimate
is that there are about ten thousand women who study in a
chavruso in Eretz Yisroel alone. Not everyone enjoys
learning in chavruso. Some start a chavruso and
then continue on their own." Or with family members.
"At first, when I wanted to begin seriously studying the
halochos of shemiras haloshon, a chavruso was
arranged for me," says C.C. "At a certain time early in the
evening either my phone or her phone would ring, depending on
whose turn it was to call.
"But with time I felt that for me it was more convenient to
study alone. I believe the chavruso is what drew me
into the matter. Today I cannot let a day go by, no matter
how tired I may be, without learning two halochos. I feel
something's missing."
Rebbetzin T. of Jerusalem says, "Learning with a
chavruso provides a lot of chizuk and is very
instructive." As a rule she feels learning the halochos of
shemiras haloshon betters her avodas Hashem in
every matter tied to relationships with others. "Human
relations improve greatly, because those who study the
halochos of shemiras haloshon learn how to see the
good in others. They learn how to see, to observe and to be
careful, for the power of one word is tremendous. Learning in
chavruso makes me commit."
Rebbetzin T. sees speech as an amazing gift HaKodosh
Boruch Hu gave to mankind, a gift that must be used
correctly if one does not want to be like the servant in the
following parable: Once a king gave his faithful servant a
great gift: royal vestments. What did the servant do with
this gift? He put the clothes on his donkey. Later the king
saw the donkey dressed in royal attire. He was not
pleased.
"It's easy to destroy with a single word," she says. "To
build is much harder."
What do you see as the advantage of the chavrusas?
"Beyond the habit one acquires--daily, organized learning --
many bonds of friendship form between the women. Women who
may not have met, got to know and become friends with another
woman. Women are incapable of learning without asking, `How
are you doing?' or `How was your visit to the doctor this
morning?' And as long as the halochos are learned, this is
just fine and fosters growth. We can learn from everybody,
for all of our life is a learning process, from the day we're
born."
There is also another arrangement, a one-sided
chavruso called Kol Haloshon.
"I tried everything," says Rebbetzin C. "I studied with a
chavruso, but my schedule did not work out with my
chavruso's schedule. I tried to study the halochos
every day from a book, but I was not always able to
concentrate, so I began to listen to the daily Kol Haloshon
shiur. It really put me on a daily study track and in
my opinion it is definitely recommendable.
Optional Tests
But women are not the only ones studying shemiras
haloshon. "In yeshivos ketanos, yeshivos gedolos
and kollelim the Chofetz Chaim's seforim are
studied in depth just like other seforim by the
acharonim," says HaRav Yochonon Tucker, who
coordinates and checks shemiras haloshon tests in
Jerusalem yeshivas. "Yeshivas like Chevron, Ponevezh (both
the yeshiva ketanoh and the yeshiva gedoloh),
Kol Torah, Ohr Elchonon, Meor HaTalmud and dozens of other
yeshivas. The Notzrei Loshon Association put out a booklet
containing tests on Chofetz Chaim and Shemiras
Haloshon. Many participate in the series of 54 tests.
Once a week, a test is administered, covering a list of
material noted in the booklet."
Where are the tests held?
"In the yeshivas themselves. The matter has to be coordinated
with the yeshiva administration and with us. A yeshiva that
wants to conduct the tests contacts us and we send the test
booklets, which are updated periodically of course."
In every yeshiva someone is appointed to take responsibility
for collecting the tests. Once a week they are all brought to
HaRav Tucker's home by the appointed collectors.
What is the overall level?
"The tests show they study the matter and understand it. They
study Chofetz Chaim with the Be'er Mayim Chaim for
certain paragraphs and they study Shemiras Haloshon
simultaneously."
What do the test-takers receive in addition to knowledge
of shemiras haloshon?
"Every test entitles the taker to ten shekels toward the
purchase of seforim if the grade was 60 or more.
Grades from 57-60 entitle the taker to five shekels for
seforim."
The test consists of ten questions, of which eight cover
Chofetz Chaim and two are taken from Shemiras
Haloshon. "The test is administered in writing. Every
page is divided in half -- questions and a place to write the
answers. Every fourth week there is a review of all of the
material studied during the preceding three weeks and once
every three months review tests are held on all of the
material studied. These tests are harder because they require
reviewing a large mass of material and the test- taker does
not know what area the tests will cover. And the amount
received is doubled to 20 shekels."
Every yeshiva where these tests are held agrees to cover 50
percent of the monthly costs. "This is not a large amount,"
says HaRav Tucker, "but today, unfortunately, participation
has decreased considerably in the yeshivas. Circumstances
really are difficult and it is felt out in the field."
Some projects were discontinued because of the economic
situation. Today few people even dream of organizing the kind
of gathering held in previous years with tests that carried
prizes of up to $1,000.
Yeshuos
Prizes do not begin and end with book purchases. The women
(who take optional monthly tests) speak of other types of
prizes. Rebbetzin Wurzburger refers to them as
"yeshuos."
Some people's entire lives surround the issue of shemiras
haloshon. Their brains don't stop racing: What else can
be done? How can other sectors of the population be
penetrated?
Rebbetzin Wurzburger toils away at this, working out of a
tattered office in Jerusalem's Zichron Moshe neighborhood. A
lot of ideas come out of this small space, and what is truly
surprising is that their execution also comes from this
little office, which has no computer and almost no equipment
found in a normal office. However there is a fax machine in
working condition (sometimes). Using this fax machine,
Mishmeres Hasholom went into operation, special bulletins for
children are created, plans are formed, drawings are
organized, contacts are maintained. And stories of
Hashgochoh protis also emerge from it.
"In Kiryat Gat 50 women maintain a shemiras haloshon
watch," says Rebbetzin Wurzburger. "The objective is to bring
merit to people in need of yeshu'oh, such as a
shidduch. Thirty out of the fifty have already been
delivered."
"About three years ago I read about an intense two-week
period of shemiras haloshon for the sake of someone in
need of siyata deShmaya," recounts Rebbetzin K. "I
called up and asked how to do a `Two-week Shemiras Haloshon.'
In the initial stage I organized a watch for a young man in
need of a shidduch. All of the members of his family
joined the watch, including his brothers in yeshiva. Later
HaRav Fuchs said it was preferable to assemble all-women
speech watches because it is harder for them to watch what
they say. Within those very two weeks shidduch
propositions started to arrive.
"When I saw how well it went, we did a speech watch for one
of my relatives. All of the ladies in the family enlisted for
this watch. At the end of those two weeks he got engaged.
Since then I have continued organizing shemiras
haloshon watches. I convince women I meet, even while
waiting for the doctor, to join. In one watch there are
Chassidim, Litvaks, Sephardim, bnei Torah and
baalei teshuvoh. Six watches were set up in the little
town of Kiryat Gat, where about 150 chareidi families live.
Every woman fixes the most convenient hours for her. One
woman who lives in moshav Komemiut and has no
neighbors, chose the evening hours. Another one, who does not
work, chose the morning hours. A third, with small children,
keeps quiet in the afternoons."
More and more shemiras haloshon watches are proving to
be a seguloh for various problems. But there are also
other solutions besides watches. Those sold on the idea
declare with firm conviction that whoever helps promote
shemiras haloshon gains secondary benefits as well.
"Once I had to prepare more than one hundred envelopes for a
mailing on the topic of shemiras haloshon," says
Rebbetzin K. "I sought help and I asked a friend of mine, a
woman who was married for more than five years and didn't
have children, to prepare a few envelopes. `Put the name of
the person the shemiras haloshon watch is being held
for in every envelope,' I advised her. She did so, of course,
and today she has a fabulous baby girl. A similar story
involved another woman who was married for many years and
didn't merit having children. She also lent a hand and
conceived."
These amazing stories were backed by the late HaRav Yehuda
Segal who said, "There is not a single family in the world in
which two halochos a day are studied that hasn't seen a
yeshu'oh, whether in shidduchim, recovery from
illness, children -- it always helps."
Mishmeres Hasholom has many remarkable stories to tell. That
people really have been delivered from their problems is
fact. HaKodosh Boruch Hu helped them. All we have to
go on is what our eyes can see and it is not ours to
determine in exactly what merit the help so urgently needed
came from Heaven. The people at Mishmeres Hasholom are sure
that anyone who works toward shemiras haloshon
gains.
"One of the women in our city had a child who was unable to
walk at the age of two-and-a-half," recalls Rebbetzin K. "We
did a two-week shemiras haloshon watch for her. At the
end of the two weeks the girl started to walk.
"Recently I attended a simchah where I met a relative
of mine holding a baby in her arms. I was very surprised
since she had only older children. She reminded me that a two-
week watch had been held for her and one year later the baby
she was holding was born. As a rule women who hold a
shiur on shemiras haloshon in their home
witness miracles. One such woman gave birth after 21
years."
Rebbetzin K. has a whole bagful of stories to tell. Rebbetzin
Wurzburger can also tell stories for hours on end. "Even
those who help with transportation, bringing shemiras
haloshon tapes and books, see yeshu'oh.
"Periodically we arrange to have speakers come to our town
and their transportation can cost quite a lot. My friend
donated money to us for a speaker and within one month her
son and daughter got engaged. This happens again and
again.
"Someone who learns two halochos a day, takes part in a watch
and does a shiur in her home merits yeshu'oh.
We call ours `the wandering shiur' because in the home
of every family where the shiur was held the problem
was solved and the shiur moved to another family."
Today Rebbetzin K. no longer lives in Kiryat Gat. "Before I
moved to Bnei Brak, through amazing circumstances I found a
replacement to continue the shemiras haloshon
activities in the town. At the going-away party held for me
my friend said she would donate the merit of the next day's
two halochos." For Rebbetzin K. this was the greatest gift
she could receive.
"I am willing to come and speak to groups, classes at schools
or whoever wants about shemiras haloshon watches and
other activities," she offers, along with her phone number
(03-5796191). It's a wonderful zechus to disseminate
the matter of shemiras haloshon."
Judging Favorably
Shemiras haloshon helps one branch out and grow in
many directions, says Rebbetzin Wurzburger.
"Judging others favorably is the key to shemiras
haloshon," she says. "When a person works on himself and
learns to see others in a positive light he will judge them
favorably rather than rushing to pass judgment and speak
loshon hora about them."
She tells the following true story to illustrate her point.
A young lady came to Eretz Yisroel to study in a seminar.
On Shabbos she was a regular guest at a friend's home. One
Shabbos she arrived at the family's home wearing a very nice,
unique sweater. Her friend took one look at her and was
shocked. Although the words, "How did my sweater make its way
to you?" were on the tip of her tongue she managed to keep
quiet.
But when she scrutinized it discreetly she became more
convinced: it was definitely her sweater. She could even
recognize all the little patterns on it. "She must have taken
my sweater," she thought briefly, but quickly drove the
thought out of her mind. It seemed very unlikely her young
friend would steal and even less likely she would wear the
item in view of the person from who it had been
stolen.
That week the hostess dropped in at the dry cleaner's. The
moment she stepped in she recalled that she had dropped off
the sweater there and had forgotten to pick it up. What
reminded her? A large sign posted at the entrance to the dry-
cleaning store: "To our valued customers: Clothes left
unclaimed for three months will be given to a gemach."
Suddenly everything was clear. The girl from abroad must
have gotten the sweater at the gemach! Her friend
would never have imagined such a set of circumstances, but
that just goes to show one can always judge others favorably,
and there is almost always a good reason to do so.
To Spread the Message Around the World
Without slackening its efforts in Eretz Yisroel, as described
in this article, Notzrei Loshon is also trying to strengthen
the observance of shemiras haloshon in chutz
la'aretz as well.
One of the most important current projects is a new edition
of the laws of loshon hora in which all the pages are
laminated and suitable for studying separately. You can take
along only a page at a time. Whoever wants to dedicate a page
in the laminated edition (for only $50) can contact the
following numbers:
For English and Yiddish speakers: 972-2-538-4702
In USA, 732-886-6111
England: 208-209-1340
Shemiras Haloshon General Information Center (Hebrew): 02-571-
3879
Chavrusas: 02-582-1180
For English and Yiddish speakers: 02-538-4702
In USA, 732-886-6111
England: 208-209-1340
Tests: 02-581-8823
Tests for girls: 03-678-3373
Mishmeres Hasholom: 02-537-9160
Agudas Notzrei Loshon: 02-586-5653
| ||
| All material
on this site is copyrighted and its use is restricted. |
|||