Re: The Grant
[A story written as a result of a mother's struggle to enroll
her CP son of normal intelligence into a standard yeshiva.
Parshiyos Miketz-Vayigash]
When I started looking last spring for a first grade class
for my Down's syndrome daughter, Rina, I was hoping to
mainstream her into a normal school with the help of a one-on-
one teacher's aide, called a sayaat. I know that in
England, some 60% of first graders with Down's syndrome are
mainstreamed and numerous studies have shown the inclusion to
be both cheaper and better for these students than special
ed. In our case, the helper would be paid 12 hours weekly by
the Ministry of Education and the city, and the rest by
me.
I tried every chareidi school in Bnei Brak (except for those
with loshon kodesh Ashkenazic pronunciation since I
didn't want to confuse her); they all turned us down. None of
them bothered to contact the professionals who work with Rina
or even her kindergarten teacher.
The reasons were varied: "Our classes are too big (the only
valid excuse I heard); our teachers don't want to work with
an aide; I'd like to get rid of my wheelchair student, but
can't (I flipped at that one!); you're Ashkenazic and we're
Sefardi; you live too far -- she'll come tired (a ten minute
drive); or another version -- you live too far and maybe
she'll come late; parents will protest; you're not from our
area so why should I deal with you?; we think it's stupid of
you to want to integrate/mainstream her into a regular class
(shiluv); we already have a 3rd grade special class in
our school; we took in a special student already this year;
our first grade classes are on the third floor and we can't
move a first grade class to the ground floor to be near the
special ed class (this is not necessary as Rina climbs stairs
great)" and finally, "We've never done this before."
As it stands now, Rina is still at home. Actually, I pay a
teacher's aide three hours daily to study with Rina. She is
already reading stories of short sentences complete with
vowels.
The only place the city can offer me is a special
coeducational class in a Mizrachi school, which is not what I
want. It is very difficult and painful to believe that with
all the chareidi first grades in Bnei Brak, none can accept
my daughter and because of the stalling and inaction which
has resulted in her not starting school -- even the twelve
hours we are entitled to by the Ministry of Education have
been taken away from us. In the event that I do find a school
willing to take her, I will have to pay an additional 1,000
shekel for her tuition.
We cannot help being disillusioned by the frum community and
those Jews in key positions who could have helped us but
didn't, and stalled and even lied to us. We still pray that
our yeshua is still somewhere around the corner, of
Rechov Chazon Ish or Rabbi Akiva or anywhere in Bnei Brak.
Is there anyone influential out there willing to go to bat
for us?
Ruth Palatnik, Rechov Bartenura 4, 03-579-4996.
Ed. Why don't you tell it all to the Hebrew Yated's Kav
Hacham? Maybe they can get results for you.
ANOTHER ASHER YOTZAR MIRACLE
It was several years ago that your editor printed a miracle
story I heard firsthand involving the asher yotzar
blessing. It told of an incontinent, non- communicating
autistic boy of six who was suddenly able to control his
excretions and who began to talk -- overnight, after his
father resolved to distribute Asher Yotzar placards in
his city. Father and son joined us at our Shabbos table upon
a visit to Eretz Yisroel.
My family heard the story and internalized its message.
This past week, my granddaughter developed a very painful
sore on her lip. When it blew up the following morning, she
went to the doctor who gave her a salve. The sore got much
worse and became so painful that she was reduced to taking
painkillers every two hours with little relief.
She tried the conventional remedies of black salve [a great
addition to any medicine chest, called ichtyol, for infected
fingers and the like -- belongs in the EITZES section] and
asked a neighbor what she advised. (She didn't...)
Her mother sent her to the doctor again and this time, he
prescribed antibiotics. "It's too deep to lance," he said.
The antibiotics didn't help and the girl was in such
tremendous agony that she couldn't... oh, do anything, even
lie down.
Then she remembered the cure-all for bodily ailments. Saying
Asher Yotzar with as much kavona as one can
muster. In her condition, it was not difficult; she was
appealing to the Master Healer, the last Resort.
The next time she had to say this blessing, she uttered every
single word with deep concentration and was emotionally
exhausted by the time she had finished. And just then, the
neighbor knocked.
"I was looking around in my medicine chest and found some
vitamin E. It can't hurt to smear some on. Who knows? It
might even help."
Lo and behold! Within minutes the infection burst and pus
came streaming out. There was instant relief and from there
on it was a question of a natural process of recovery.
"It was the `nekovim nekovim' that did it," says my
granddaughter. "Hashem made an opening so that the pus could
come out."
EPILOGUE ON EPIDURAL
The controversy rages on and I think we will close it.
Anyone who still wishes to pursue this vital topic is welcome
to call me and get the numbers of this present writer, as
well as the one quoted in a recent Letter:
I was grateful to see an article finally informing chareidi
women of the risks and dangers involved in what have become
almost `routine' epidurals (Nov. 22). It is vital that
information such as that which was provided in Esther
Marilus' article be brought to the attention of all child-
bearing women.
However, a week ago, a small "Letter..." appeared as a
disclaimer, disagreeing with the facts, though providing no
source material to support that disclaimer. In fact, the
midwife with "many years of experience" even claimed that
women suffer post-partum depression as a result of being made
to endure the `pain and suffering' of natural childbirth!
[Ed. Some women do...]
This feeds right into the system of fear that promotes
women's willingness to subject themselves to drugs that are
not without risk! Why are we helping create a `need' for
medicated birth when women could instead be educated to have
healthy, normal births without analgesics and epidurals?
The reasons for post-partum depression are vast and
complicated... one cause being the distressingly bad HOSPITAL
experiences women are made to endure, where they are not
allowed to move around, are placed in uncomfortable
positions, do not receive the emotional support they need,
are made to feel at the mercy of medical decisions and
`recommendations' and are even YELLED at if they don't
`cooperate.' What I found most distasteful about the
anonymous letter was the implication that without chemical
relief, childirth is a time of `pain and suffering' that can
leave a woman permanently traumatized!
Where is our emuna in Hashem? Where is our
understanding of how He actually created us in a uniquely
marvelous way, perfectly designed for bringing new Yiddishe
neshomos into the world? The belief in our own bodies'
Heavenly granted strength should be instilled in every
kalla before her wedding. Hashem didn't make a mistake
in designing us. In fact, our own bodies actually produce
natural chemicals with opiate-like qualities to help us cope
with pain!
Expecting women need encouragement and support, not
demeaning, undermining messages of "Poor dear, we know you
can't manage without some form of pain relief." With the
proper emotional, Hashkafic, physiological and psychological
preparation, our community should be raising girls to LOOK
FORWARD to the unique, miraculous experience of childbirth
that can be ours. Childbirth can be a truly uplifting,
exhilirating experience that more deeply bonds women to their
babies and to Hashem. The impact of having a positive
experience can affect the relationship of a mother to her
child for life.
Maybe it is time for our community to reclaim that which our
foremothers -- and prototype midwives like Shifra and Pua of
this week's parsha -- knew intuitively: that birth is
an intimate process between us and Hashem as we joined Him in
a celebration of Creation. It seems that our generation
sorely needs positive reinforcement to remind us of the
wisdom with which we were created!
A concerned mother of many (Name Withheld)
EITZES
Lots of Lox
R.P. told me this one. It belongs in the cooking section but
is so incredible that we'll just include it here this
time.
Take a piece of salmon fillet. Cover it with thick salt,
place in a plastic bag overnight in the refrigerator. Rinse
off well the following day.
Voila -- delicious lox, believe it or nox.
