A new, educated and realistic look at New Year Resolutions --
High Maintenance Behavior Modification
I spent ten days in Europe with a friend. Although this isn't
conducive to saving money, I did learn something about
spending it. There are people who are High Maintenance (that
would be me) and people who are Low Maintenance (that would be
my friend). I'm not exaggerating if I say she spent less on
our whole trip than I did in one day. I'd like to offer as an
excuse the fact that I was traveling with a ten-year-old child
but even taking that into consideration, I am and have always
been high maintenance. That realization gave me a certain
sense of freedom. The same way one wouldn't expect to have the
same maintenance cost for a typewriter as a computer or a
Chevy as a Volvo, there are people who, for reasons of
temperament, health, upbringing or vocation, are higher
maintenance than others.
For the purpose of this article, we'll define high maintenance
as people who, due to their greater needs (even if others see
these needs as desires), spend a lot of money compared to
other people. The truth is all of us have at least one area of
high maintenance. This area could be diet (people who require
special foods), health (people who need certain medicines and
treatments), professional costs (people who need to update or
maintain equipment they use for their work), mobility (cars or
frequent use of taxis) etc. People who have active social
lives will spend more money than others on costs related to
babysitting, entertaining, gifts and clothes while people who
are more introverted and quiet will spend more money, say, on
books and magazines.
There are some women who spend a lot of money on make-up and
beauty treatments (including wig hairdressing), whereas others
won't, but may, instead, spend more money on decorating and
maintaining their homes. Some people, like my friend, don't
require constant contact with the outside world in the form of
beepers, fax machines, computers, e-mails, cell phones or
voice mail. Others, say doctors, businessmen or mothers with a
lot of kids, may need access to a large network of
communication. If you have many areas of your life in which
you spend a lot of money, then you are a high maintenance
person. If you live simply and economically in most areas of
your life, then you are low maintenance. You may be high
maintenance even if your spending depends on other people,
e.g. spouse, children, employer.
The first thing to do, then, if you want to have a clear
understanding of your spending personality, is to classify
yourself as high maintenance or low maintenance and identify
the areas in your life in which you are each. In my
opinion, there is no one who is uniformly one. Once you have
identified yourself, the next step would be to accept yourself
for who and what you are. Condemning yourself or having
expectations that are unrealistic are not constructive and can
lead to your feeling deprived at one extreme and compulsively
spending at the other. The healthy medium is as the Rambam
pointed out: the golden path in the middle.
How do you get there?
Well, for one thing, when you've identified the areas in which
you are high maintenance, you can either accept them and
budget around them if they aren't too numerous, or decide
which areas you can compromise on and find a friend who is low
maintenance in them and learn from her. [Your editor
recommends Rosally's excellent Three Part Series on Making
Ends Meet featured in July. Back copies available through the
main office: Leah Weisman.]
For example, my friend who traveled with me drank water. That
saved her money. She even turned down a bottle of water which
she regarded as too expensive and was satisfied taking one sip
from mine. This is an area where I am super high maintenance.
I drink like a fish. I love fruit juice and carbonated drinks
and I have to have at least one cola a day. Not just any cola
but Coke, the only exceptions being fast days, of course.
While other people pine for their first cigarette or cup of
coffee after the fast, I am seeing red (and white) and it
isn't the Canadian flag. Okay, so I can look at my friend and
learn to drink more water. I can find places that sell Coke
cheaply and buy in bulk (and resist the temptation of more-
than-one- per-day). I can also fill my water bottle with coke
or vice versa. I have options that allow me my area of
pampering while still not getting in the red (forgive the
pun).
Another way to keep your standard of living but pay less for
it is to consider asking for your favorite things by way of
presents. If, for whatever reason, you have to have your
favorite things, like a certain perfume, chocolate, brand name
lipstick, newspaper subscription, you can politely suggest to
your friends who are racking their brains about what to buy
you for your birthday or the chagim that they buy you
this thing or finance part of it. In that way, you don't
deprive yourself and your friends know that you'll like what
they get for you.
Another way is to anticipate your need. The worst thing is to
run out of something that you consider indispensable, only to
have to buy it at a much higher cost at the last minute. The
same way a mother doesn't leave the house without a day's
supply of diapers, Bamba or wipes, which she bought at
discount prices, we all need to anticipate what we usually
find ourselves lacking. If you're a person who needs frequent
access to food/drink, make sure you have it with you and can
buy it at a reasonable price. Everyone has their personal list
of necessities. If you plan your day, you're less likely to be
caught short and need to pay tall.
Many of our needs are the result of habit. We get used to our
designer clothes, brand-name coffee, whatever, and then can't
live without them. We also take them for granted and then
don't derive as much enjoyment from them as we used to.
Habits are hard to break but they can be modified. Even I can
drink another cola in an `emergency'. We don't have to totally
give up our specific tastes, just tone them down a little and
be aware and appreciate them more. Most of us can do without
certain luxuries under certain circumstances. If we're on
vacation, for example, we don't usually take everything we own
with us. During the Gulf War, people's top priority became
finding shelter with a sealed room before nightfall...
To help change our perception of our needs, we can use as
incentive things which carry even a bigger reward. This kind
of behavior modification is used all the time on students,
children and people trying to lose weight. As with
spirituality, we can modify our behavior to achieve higher
goals, thereby lowering our maintenance. If I gave up Coke for
a while, I would be healthier and also have more money for
something else. When we lower our maintenance, we can afford
more things, bigger and better things.
