Teenage boys face a wide range of unique challenges, beginning
around bar mitzvah age. Since many of these challenges are
very private in nature they cannot be dealt with in the
ordinary educational framework. Many parents are also
uncertain how best to deal with these issues. This situation
poses a serious threat to the young man's spiritual future.
Failure to handle these challenges correctly, even if
unintentional, can lead to a more general decline both in
morals and self-esteem.
The defense mechanisms that membership in chareidi society
naturally provides are insufficient in this case because the
challenges of the adolescent come from within. The only way
one can truly assist him is by offering him guidance in
developing his own maturity of thought in general while at the
same time providing him with a detailed approach for relating
to specific challenges. All of this must be done in a language
that will speak to him.
This is the goal that the author of Pathways has set
for himself. Written for young bochurim from bar
mitzvah age and up, the sefer takes the form of a
series of letters from an older brother to his younger
sibling. His thoughtful words speak straight to the heart,
giving the young person the encouragement he needs to build
his own personality and urging him to take responsibility for
his own future.
Pathways is designed to be used in two ways. It can be
given directly to the adolescent in place of, or as a prelude
to, personal discussions. Alternatively it can be used by
parents and educators preparing to speak to their own children
or pupils, as a model of an approach sanctioned by some of the
greatest Torah educators and sages of the day.
The style of the letters is lofty and demands a certain degree
of maturity on the part of the reader. The later letters are
more suitable for somewhat older bochurim who are
already in yeshiva gedolah. At the end of the sefer
there is a separate section entitled "Letters of
Encouragement for Times of Trial." The letters in this section
are designed to see the bochur through times of special
challenges. They are intended to provide him with the support
he needs to keep from falling into despair and to show him how
to find his way out of the thicket.
The author, who has chosen to remain anonymous, was asked to
embark on this project in view of the success of his earlier
works on building a Torah marriage (Mishkan Yisroel and
Ohel Rochel). All along the way he benefited from
consultations with educators and talmidei chachomim. He
received further encouragement from numerous roshei
yeshivos and gedolei Yisroel, who later issued an
epistle (reprinted at the end of the English edition) urging
that the sefer in its original Hebrew edition be made
available to every bar mitzva boy. HaRav Nissim Karelitz, for
example, writes, "This sefer will benefit parents and
teachers as well as the youth and will help guide the latter
along the straight path."
Some five years after the sefer made its appearance in
Hebrew and proved its worth among young bnei Torah in
Eretz Yisroel, the author was asked to make it available to
the English reading public as well. With the appearance of
Pathways this request has at long last been
fulfilled.
The English edition was carefully scrutinized by HaRav Aharon
Feldman, rosh yeshiva of Ner Israel Yeshiva in
Baltimore, who added his own warm "Foreword" in which he
emphasizes the unique educational challenges facing our
generation. He concludes: "Pathways . . . has proved
itself an effective tool in guiding young Israeli yeshiva
students through the turmoil of their adolescent years . . .
The book speaks to the reader in an intimate voice filled with
understanding, wisdom and warmth . . . I am sure that young
people throughout the English speaking world will be
profoundly affected by this book."
HaRav Yaakov Perlow, the Novominsker Rebbe, writes in his
approbation: "The growing Torah generation needs both
chizuk and guidance in coping with these pressures.
Pathways to Personal Growth is a most valuable effort
in this direction. It deals sensitively with the struggles of
human development and presents a perspective of depth and
spirituality and timeless Torah wisdom."
The cover of the English edition displays a picture of the
steps leading up to the Beis Hamikdosh. This symbolizes
one of the central themes of the book: that by building his
inner world along proper lines the young bochur is
actually creating his own internal Beis Hamikdosh where
he can dwell with Hashem and enjoy some protection from the
forces of evil.
It is to be hoped that this new English edition will be warmly
received by parents, educators and the teens themselves. With
the help of Heaven, may it provide them with the guidance they
need to overcome the obstacles of adolescence and enable them
to make the most of these precious years, which harbor such
enormous potential for true spiritual growth.
Pathways to Personal Growth is available through
Feldheim Publishers. Further inquiries can be made by calling
(in Israel): (02) 538-7796.
