I enjoyed your article on Food/Fasting. Coming from the "old
country," the USA, I, too, am accustomed to men, women and
children over 12 fasting on all fasts. I found it
surprising, upon arriving in Eretz Yisroel, that girls and
women hardly fasted. Whether due to different customs or
different orientation etc., basically, they hardly
fasted.
It was explained to me that the climate here is hotter and
drier and people are afraid of dehydration. Far be it from
me to deny people their customs, but I share your writer's
attitude that many who don't consider fasting for
themselves, become horrified of teenager fasts. It becomes a
major trauma to fast on Yom Kippur. People stay in bed --
and I'm not speaking about medically ordered rest or non-
fasting -- who are perfectly fit. Simply because they are
not accustomed to fasting!
Come on, now. These same people may go on very long hikes
and go with little refreshment, and have a great time. Or
diet. I think that a lot of the trauma is "in the mind," and
all the pity. Our fasts are a great opportunity for a little
introspection, reflection, not to say self improvement. To
paraphrase one of my great teachers, "It's hard to do
tshuva over a bowl of popcorn." It is worth giving
this second thoughts.
(Signed) Pulling a Fast One
FOCUS ON THE SPECIAL BLESSING OF SPECIAL CHILDREN
We have begun reprinting the response of Dov Patkin,
father of a Down's Syndrome child and author of "Journey of
a Soul," Parshas Bo, which offered stark insights on the G-d-
given blessing of special children, and which evoked a
strong reply from Mira Neufeld (Parshas Yisro). He
writes:
You were upset that the poem did not show proper respect for
rabbinical decision. I understand fully and, of course, your
concern is correct. I beg forgiveness a thousand times for
any lack of respect implied to the rabbis who lead our
communities; certainly the poem does not intend that.
The poem was not speaking about ALL rabbis, just as it was
not addressing ALL parents. Rather, it referred to a very
specific case where the parents abandoned the baby without
ANY attempt to try to bring her into the family. Not for
good reasons. And, unfortunately, there ARE some rabbis who
are not aware of the ruling of gedolei Yisroel and
personally feel that no Down's child will ever "amount to
much" and that no couple should bring such a child home.
Again, we presented this extreme side because of the vital
necessity to help Jewish babies receive the best home life
that only natural parents can give.
"And what do you think that your poem did to a parent who
was coerced by circumstances to give up the baby? I know of
a couple who got divorced because the husband was so
achievement-oriented etc."
You suggest that the poem might be the cause of a couple
getting a divorce. This is a possibility of any issue
written about our responsibilities to Hashem. It is true
that after a lecture on the importance of keeping Shabbos, a
couple might have a bitter argument about their level of
observance, with dire results. Tragic as it is, it was never
the intention of the lecture or the poem. Is this reason for
not advising people on the correct Torah way?
[Ed. We hope to pursue this issue in future editions. Dov
Patkin has created an informal support group (of some
hundred families) for Down's parents and urges our readers
to call and "talk things over."' His phone: 02-582-9944, FAX
02-581-7496. And now, for another moving, insightful poem
with its bittersweet, or rather, sweetbitter, humor.]
GITTA
By DOV PATKIN
There is so near to us
two little bright eyes
watching
waiting
To see if we are unhappy
when we behold her
two little bright eyes
that we helped create
*
There is so near to us
a BIG little soul
who would not want us
to cry about her
And if we cry...
she might even
laugh
at us
And that WOULD be
very funny
And so, let us LAUGH
at ourselves
Who think we know
what is living
Let us laugh our way out of
falseness
superficiality
Let us laugh our way
to Hashem
[And your editor cannot help additing her own bittersweet
ADAR humor to the subject. Legitimate thoughts that fly into
a person's mind upon concentrating on prayers.
What blessing does one say over children? Borei Pri
Habetten.
And what blessing does one say over the special child?
Borei nefoshos rabbos vechesronon... Hashem creates
these special souls, intact with their special lacks, as a
blessing. To help us grow closer to Him, through them.
