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20 Ellul 5760 - Setpember 20, 2000 | Mordecai Plaut, director Published Weekly
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Home and Family
Why are We Waiting?
by R. Chadshai

Somehow, we seem to hear the clock ticking louder in Elul, as the final countdown of the year nudges closer to zero hour.

I was invited to my daughter's graduation ceremony one morning and arrived on time. The principal was there and some of the staff, as were some of the students with their mothers. Admittedly, many seats were still unoccupied, but I saw no reason to delay the commencement of the proceedings. In any case, we finally started three quarters of an hour later. I had to leave early, as I had other things planned for later on in the day, but left with a bitter taste in my mouth. Why had they not started on time, even if the hall was not completely full? Why have we succumbed to these disturbing tendencies? Thus complains a busy mother.

Did I say tendencies? Just so. Nevertheless, all is not lost. There are still many events which run to timetables and exact times, and the public knows that they have to abide by them. A bus which runs infrequently; the bank; a flight; you cannot take liberties with time. If someone arrives only a few minutes late, he will learn a lesson the hard way for the future.

Someone once told me, "I will never forget that wedding. The invitation was for 6:00 prompt. Knowing what `prompt' means, I reckoned that if I arrived between 7:30 and 8:00, like for most weddings, I would come at the beginning of the meal, or at the end of the chuppa. To my amazement, when I got there, they had finished bentching. I knew that there was no playing with time when the other children of that family got married.

"What a waste of time" has become a figure of speech in our day and age. Perhaps because it is used so frequently, we don't realize the true significance of its meaning. Time is our most precious possession and resource. It is invaluable. Once a second has passed, it will never return. The damage we do by wasting time is irreversible.

We say about someone who has lived for many years that he is "getting on in days." We wish people arichas yomim, long days, and not long years. That is because each day in a person's life has a purpose. Once a day has gone, it will not return, so we have to use it to its full extent. Let us imagine someone who is critically ill, fighting for life. His heart has stopped beating but the doctors try resuscitation, sparing no effort, time or expense. To what purpose? Perhaps to prolong his life for even a short time. Then, lo and behold, they witness a medical marvel. Their efforts paid off, the patient recovers completely and leaves the hospital to go home. What will they think of him if he now wastes his time and even looks for ways to "kill time?"

Is it an exaggeration to say that wasting time is comparable to deliberate suicide? We have explained that life consists of individual seconds, each of which has a purpose. Throwing away these seconds, minutes or hours, is throwing away life: suicide. A quarter of an hour here, two precious hours wasted on some complicated piece of bureaucracy. An interminable wait which is forced on us through no fault of our own: all these situations could have been put to better use. Man worries about losing money but does not worry about losing time. Money comes and goes, time just goes.

In Kelm, there used to be a mussar shiur lasting just five minutes. Apart from the actual knowledge gained in the shiur of such short duration, they also learned that five minutes which are normally of little account, gained them eternal values.

They tell that R' Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt'l once ordered a taxi and was kept waiting for ten minutes. He complained that he had wasted ten minutes of his life. Ten minutes which were irreplaceable. When his shiur once began at 9:05, he complained, "This shiur was meant to begin at 9:00. In five minutes, once can achieve a great deal." R' Reuven Bengis made a siyum on Shas which he had learned by using all the precious "odd five minutes" which usually go to waste.

Although women have no obligation to learn, our time is also precious. We waste a tremendous amount of time in doctors' or dentists' waiting rooms. Some women take their mending, others prepare lessons or mark notebooks, others say Tehillim. At least they are not wasting time.

The telephone was invented as a useful tool to save time. But gradually, it has become a great instrument for a chat, and takes up much of our attention. If we reckon all the minutes which we spend on the phone unnecessarily, it comes to an awful lot of time! Nowadays, there is the cordless phone, or one with a long flex, where women can move freely and continue their work while talking. A true saving, in both sense of the word!

If time is life, then if we assign some time for a particular purpose, we are giving our life to that purpose. This is besides investing money. They say time is money and a person spends time earning money. According to this, when people are particular about time, they are acting in a responsible way. So how can one waste other people's time, i.e. stealing part of their lives which can never be replaced?

Sometimes it is not "only" taking time from others. For instance, many women depend on babysitters. The babysitter is late and this can give rise to a whole chain of events: A missed appointment or arriving late for a dentist's appointment which makes all his appointments for the rest of the day late.

The public is composed of individuals, individuals make families, and families constitute the public. Each individual is responsible for himself. Perhaps we could arrive at a situation where many individuals decide to respect time, and sooner or later, the public as a whole keeps tabs on time, and those who do not march on time would be the odd ones out and feel uncomfortable if they arrive late?

 

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