Peace. A simple enough word, but the meaning behind it and
how to attain it is not as simple as it sounds. When people
in the media talk about peace, they're generally referring to
the Peace Process and Peace Talks. The possibility of non-
Torah-oriented policy makers playing around with our
boundaries and perhaps the safety of our people makes me
cringe at first thought. But instead of falling into a panic,
I close my ears, say a quick prayer and remind myself that,
after all, Hashem runs the world, not the government and not
the media. [Even Dovid Hamelech assures us that He will have
the last laugh on those who presume they run the world.]
Then I address my energies towards matters which absorb the
majority of my waking hours as a Jewish homemaker. Energy
directed towards chessed in and out of the home is
certainly a positive step towards peace, a better investment
than worrying about matters beyond my control. Amidst the
myriad duties, there are a couple of loads of laundry to be
processed from hamper to closet, lunch to be made (again) and
fifth grade math homework to make peace with -- in Hebrew
terms. Go remember the Hebrew definition for an isosceles
triangle (when I can barely remember how to spell it for this
article) -- time and again, and dealing with it at the home
`base'...
My friend and I have decided to do something for the peace
process. Don't laugh. If the ripple effect has reached us, it
can reach much further! We've begun studying A Lesson a
Day based on the laws of shemiras haloshon. The
idea really connected when we hit on the page where the
Chofetz Chaim speaks of the importance of peace! What kind of
peace is he referring to? Not media-`peace'!
I decided to do some research on the subject, and after
clearing the kitchen table of crumbs, cornflakes and sugar
crystals (how many days until Pesach?), I took out some
seforim to see what the Sages say on the matter.
During the times of wicked Achav, the Jewish people were
steeped in idolatry, but they lived peaceably among
themselves, and were victorious over their enemies. However,
during the era of the righteous Yehoshofot, when Jews were
well versed in the intricacies of Torah but suffered from
petty hatred, they were defeated in battle. How important
peace is at the ground level!
Isn't it self evident that life is much more pleasant when we
get along? But peace must sometimes be pursued: "Seek peace
and run after it." At the expense of one's pride, sometimes,
at the expense of expense - spending some money to obtain
it.
Sounds nice, but needs practical application. A while ago, I
realized one day that a neighbor was no longer responding to
my `good mornings and `how are you?s. I couldn't imagine what
I had said to hurt her, but she seemed peeved, and I had the
unpleasant feeling that she was berogez. I asked a
Rebbetzin for advice and she suggested that sometimes, all a
person needs to hear are two little words: "I'm sorry."
Whether we think it is justified or not. This is the meaning
of `peace.' She also suggested buying a token gift.
So came Friday afternoon, just before Shabbos, I knocked on
her door, a small pastry in hand. She was pleasantly
surprised and whatever negative feelings she had been nursing
dissipated right at her doorstep. Daas Torah, a humble
spirit and a little luscious pastry. In three small steps
peace was restored.
Peace between neighbors may be easier to maintain than
domestic peace. Passing by an apartment one day, I overheard
loud bickering. It was scary; I felt a need to run away like
from a fire. No wonder the Shechina refuses to dwell where
there is dissension! As I escaped the scene, I couldn't help
wondering if I ever sound like that when I am upset. A
humbling thought.
We think we can't control the way others speak, but if we can
control the way we do, we can temper their responses through
our own good temper. It takes working on a host of good
character traits: judging others favorably, including closest
relatives! Appreciating the positive and overlooking comments
of people when they're uptight and stressed out; using
loshon tov, appreciation and building others up. We
have our homework cut out, where things are not always fifty-
fifty, or the two sides of our triangles not always equal.
But isn't the effort worth it? Giving Hashem some
nachas from His children? And blessing us with true
peace?
