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11 Sivan 5759, May 26, 1999 | Mordecai Plaut, director Published Weekly
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Home and Family
Tempest in a Half Glass of Water
by Malka Adler

It's another heat-wave and you answer the door to an unfamiliar woman.

Would you like a drink of water? Here, please...

There's the well known description of the optimist versus the pessimist. While the optimist will consistently see the glass as being half full of water, the other can only focus on the void that exists. While the pessimist's predictably non- positive view of the world is depressing enough, there are some unfortunate souls who take it a step further.

Critically, they'll comment that the aforementioned glass is unwashed, the unfiltered liquid is obviously full of impurities and teeming with harmful bacteria. Any attempt to drink it would be endangering one's very existence. Furthermore, if you wanted to be truly hospitable, why were you too lazy to fill the glass? And the speck on the glass - might that not suggest that it had NOT BEEN RINSED since the last person drank from it, G-d forbid?

Then there are those who enjoy `suffering' so that they have refined to an art; they have their own style of interpretation. It upsets them no end that the skimpy amount of water you served was so far from generous. This solitary act is a serious indication of stinginess, selfishness and inconsideration on your part. Besides, there was a definite negative attitude in the abrupt and offhand manner in which you slammed it on the table. (Nevermind the hysterical baby and the burning pot.)

When the bedroom phone rang, you promptly picked it up, in the free hand that was not holding the baby. You thought it more important than remaining in the kitchen with your visitor. In the unlikely event that a brocha had been made on the lethal liquid, no one would be there to answer amen. This is a clear indication of mistaken priorities and poor hashkofos. Never mind that you had mentioned your expecting an urgent call. That was no excuse. However, no rational person would partake of such a drink. Severe dehydration would be the preferred choice.

This seething mental soliloquy is accompanied by a pained look of betrayal, martyrdom and disillusion. A dramatic scenario, all because the water/glass did not meet stringent specifications.

The Other Side of the Glass

An encounter with a certified considerate optimist is always refreshing. The scene might be as follows:

"Please don't bother getting me a drink. You're so busy and I don't dare impose. Oh, not a real glass! Just give me one of those plastic disposable cups, even a washed out one. Please don't trouble yourself.

"Well, if you insist. Thanks. Such a pretty glass. The phone is ringing. Could I hold the baby while you answer it? I'll let myself out after this refreshing drink. It was a real chessed. Tizku lemitzvos! Thanks again."

There's nothing simple about a glass of water.

 

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